Being a stepparent can be both rewarding and tricky. As a new stepparent, you are going to want to create a bond with your new stepchildren. Do not be surprised if it takes a new stepchild a while to warm up to you. At the same time, do not let this slow warming-up period think it will never get better. Keep working at it, and things will turn around. It will just take some time and some patience as they adjust to this changing dynamic.
How-to Bond with Stepchildren: Relationship Building
Spend Quality Time Together
As with any relationship, you have to spend time together to form a bond with stepchildren. Plan to do fun, special things with your stepchildren. Start by asking them what types of activities they like to do. By doing something that they already enjoy, they may have a more positive experience. Make sure you are spending good, quality time with them and that you are actually engaging. For example, sitting in the corner, distracted, on the phone will not show the kids that you want to interact with them. If you try to make these fun activities a routine, your stepchildren will start looking forward to spending time with you.
Understand Their Frustrations
Do your best to be patient with your stepchildren and understand their frustrations. For instance, you should listen to them, and hear what they have to say. Just as it took time for you to adjust to a new relationship, it will take the kids time as well. Also, keep in mind that you were able to choose your new partner. Remember that they did not have as much say in the situation. They will likely express their frustration at that at some points as you build your bond with stepchildren.
Get Involved in Their Life
Do things that show your stepchildren that you care about them. Go to their game, play, recital or other event they are involved in. For instance, ask them questions, and make sure to seem genuinely interested. Try and learn about the things that they participate in. Show interest in them and what they care about. Do your best to be supportive of them as well. One tip would be to offer to drive them to their practice or activity. This would show you care about something they are a part of, and also will give you some good one-on-one time with them.
Treat Them Like Your Own Kids
If you make your stepchildren feel like they’re just an extra thing you have to carry around, they will start to resent you. Keep in mind that these kids have just gone through some big changes, and likely just had some sad experiences. For example, try introducing them as your kids, instead of stepkids, so that they feel included. You definitely do not want them to feel like they are not really part of the family. Additionally, that includes not showing favoritism towards any biological kids you may have. The best way to do this is by treating them as if they were your own kids.
At the same time, do not try to replace their actual parents. Your role is not to replace their mom or dad, but to be a stepparent. Your role is special, and does not have to compete with their biological parents. Also, be candid with your stepchildren and tell them that this is all new for you too.
Although it may feel like it is taking a while, do not give up. Just make sure you are showing interest in your stepchildren and their lives, being patient and understanding, and treating them like one of your own. Over time, these steps will help you form a strong bond between yourself and your stepchildren.
When you begin your road to recovery, it can be tough to go it alone. As such, it’s helpful to build up recovery relationships. These bonds can go a long way in giving you the extra support you need during this time…
Recovery Relationships: Helpful Support
Value of relationships
Recovery relationships are quite helpful for those who are seeking to get sober. If you try and do things alone, it can be hard to resist things such as cravings. You could also start to feel rather discouraged and lose your enthusiasm as you begin to face some difficulties.
However, having people to support you can make things different. Here, you’ll have people who can encourage you to keep sober and help to hold you accountable. Not just that, but you’ll also have people who you can trust and be honest with. Knowing you have people in your corner goes far in giving you the strength you may need to get and stay sober.
If there are recovery relationships you don’t want, it’s any unhealthy ones. These toxic relationships will serve to hurt your efforts to get sober. Instead of support, these people may tear you down instead. Or, it could be the case that they are a bad influence and try to encourage you to relapse back into drug use.
These kinds of relationships can be hard to cut off, as they may be people you know or did drugs with. Still, you have to understand that it’s what’s best for your well-being. Being around these kinds of people will just add a lot of unneeded stress during an already-stressful time.
Creating new bonds
Building recovery relationships can be done in a number of ways. For starters, it’s good to turn to existing friends and family. Those who show that they’ll still help and support you are great to keep around. It’s only those who won’t that you’ll want to cut off.
As for new friends, many people create new bonds when they go through treatment. Meeting people at these facilities is great for making new friends that know exactly what kind of situation you’re in. You can also find new friends at group therapy or treatment sessions. It’s easy to form new connections as you share stories about your experiences.
Drinking in moderation can be a good way to relax and enjoy yourself. However, if you notice that you’ve been drinking more and more than usual, it could be the sign of some dangerous behavior developing. That’s why it’s good to know what you can do to cut down on your alcohol intake. This can help you keep healthy while still enjoying your favorite drinks…
How-to Reduce Alcohol Intake: Important Techniques
Set a limit
One good way to lower your alcohol intake is by setting a hard limit. Usually, before someone start drinking, they’ll have a basic idea of how much they want to drink. Yet, once they begin drinking, it’s easy for them to drink way more than they expected.
By setting a hard limit, you know exactly how much you want to drink. That way, when you start drinking, you know when to stop. Plus, it’s good to let any friends with you know what your limit is as well. This will help them not pressure you into drinking past this limit, and instead help you stick to it.
Some people try to not eat much before they drink. In their eyes, they try to balance the empty calories that comes with drinking by limiting what they eat. In reality, it’s not a good idea to drink on an empty stomach, especially if you want to limit your alcohol intake.
By drinking on an empty stomach, you’re setting yourself up to drink way more than you should. It’s pretty simple, as the more space there is in your stomach, the more you can drink before feeling full. By eating beforehand, you’ll be able to better limit your alcohol intake. This will also help you avoid feeling sick or nauseous after a few drinks.
Choose healthier options
Picking healthier choices is also good for when you want to cut down on your alcohol intake. Of course, the most apparent choice is water. Drinking water will help keep you hydrated after drinking alcohol. Plus, it’ll also help you feel full without needing to drink any alcohol. You can also try out some non-alcoholic drinks. Many of these drinks will taste similar to their alcoholic ones, just without the alcohol in them. Choosing these drinks can be good if you want to watch your intake, but still want to experience some unique flavors.
Should you end up with the family home after your divorce, you’ve got a few options at your disposal. One of these could be deciding to sell the home. Still, home selling post-divorce isn’t always easy. However, a few simple things can help your home stand out on the market…
Home Selling Post-Divorce: Helpful Steps
Determine market value
One of the main issues with home selling post-divorce is pricing. Not a lot of people understand what the actual market value of their home is. As such, they figure that their home will be around the same sort of value when they bought it. In reality, it could be that their home is either worth less, or sometimes even more than they believe.
In order to get as best of a price as possible, it’s helpful to use a property appraiser. These professionals will determine your home’s value based on a number of factors. These can include the age, square footage, features, location, and price of other homes in the area. Once you have a good price, it becomes a lot easier to sell your home.
Prep it properly
First impressions are crucial for home selling post-divorce. If you can’t make a good first impression, you’ll find that your home is going to struggle on the market. As such, it’s crucial that you do some initial prep work to help make your home stand out.
This mainly comes down to doing some repairs and cleaning. Touching up some rough spots can be a good investment, as it’ll make your home more appealing compared to others. Same with making sure it’s clean and presentable. Taking that extra time will go a long way in swaying on-the-fence buyers into being seriously interested.
Pick a good agent
Trying to do home selling post-divorce by yourself is a daunting task. There’s a whole lot of details which can be hard to keep track of. This is why it’s good to make use of a real estate agent. At the same time, you need to make sure that you pick the right kind of agent for you.
For starters, you should ensure that they have good reviews and feedback. Also, make sure that they can work with your schedule. As you may have a lot to still take care of, having a flexible agent is a serious plus. This will help you sell your home the right way and in a way which works for you.
Divorce can be both stressful and somewhat costly. As a result, you may find that you need some financial support post-divorce. It’s important to know what your options are, and how you can even ask those close to you for help…
How to Ask for Financial Support Post-Divorce: Helpful Steps
Explore your choices
When you’re looking for financial support post-divorce, it’s good to consider what your choices are. For example, some people may turn to their bank for a loan. While these can be helpful in the moment, how much you can receive will depend on things like your credit score. This will also impact any sort of interest rate you’ll need to deal with.
If your work has laid you off, then you can also seek out unemployment benefits. These will help you get some cash flow while you look for a new job. However, many will wonder about asking their friends and family. While they may have helped you before, bringing money into the mix can complicate things, so it’s good to know how to make this process easier for everyone.
If you want to ask your friends and family for financial support post-divorce, you need to be prepared. Just going to them and asking for money will get you nowhere and strain your relationship. Rather, if you really want their help, you should show them that by getting yourself ready.
In particular, it’s good to set up a budget and spending plan. Figure out just exactly how much money you may need and for what. It’s also helpful to see if there’s any sort of debt forgiveness or restructuring you can do too. When you prepare like this, it shows your friends and family that you’re serious about using the money properly.
Set up terms
You shouldn’t treat getting financial support post-divorce from friends and family any differently than you would from other places. It can be easy to think that because you know each other, that it doesn’t need to be as serious. However, when money is involved, you want to make sure both sides know and understand what’s expected of the other.
In fact, even if they say they don’t want you to pay them back, it’s good to tell them you will. This creates some accountability on your end and ensures you’ll use the money to get yourself situation. Once you are, you can then pay them back, even if it was just a small amount they gave you.