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How-to: Help Kids Understand Divorce: Difficult Talks

Every child is going to react differently when learning that their parents are getting a divorce. Of course, the age that a child is at will determine their understanding of what is going on. In some families, the children may be very aware of what is going on. In other instances, the parents may hide all of their disagreements from their kids. While every situation will be different, there are a few tips that can help kids understand divorce.

How-to Help Kids Understand Divorce: Preparing for the Talk

Planning For It

The best way to help kids understand divorce is to talk about it. Part of how a child will react will be based on how the parents tell their children that they are getting a divorce. Parents should put thought and consideration into how, when, and where they break the news to their children. It may be helpful to have the entire family meet together as a family so that the parents can answer the children’s questions. In this type of setting, there will be less opportunity for parents to blame the other for the divorce.

Make sure to plan a family meeting to have this big conversation. Go ahead and think through and plan out what is going to be said at this meeting. Parents should do their best to stay calm during this conversation. It will be best to plan to have a follow-up meeting to answer any further questions and address concerns.

Things to Say

Children often find divorce hard to understand. In order to help kids understand divorce, keep the initial conversation to the basics. Otherwise, it could get very overwhelming and confusing. The most important thing is for kids to know that their basic needs are still going to be met. They will also want reassurance that they will be able to continue a relationship with both parents if that is something that is possible.

Kids may not understand that a divorce is final, so that is something parents need to discuss so that kids do not have false hopes. It is easy for children to think that it is their fault that their parents are getting a divorce. Parents need to reassure kids that this is not their fault.

Listen

In order to help kids understand divorce, it is important to listen to their questions and concerns. Children will have worries about how their life will change, and parents need to be mindful of that. By listening to kid’s concerns and questions will show that the parents care. Parents should not be alarmed if they have to answer questions and give reassurance many times during this process. Also, parents should ask children about their fears and concerns, so that the parents show the kids that they care. It also shows kids that it is okay to be open about those feelings.

Telling kids about divorce is never easy. There are ways to help kids understand divorce. Once they understand it, it will help the transition process to hopefully be a bit smoother.

How-to: Reconcile with Your Ex After Divorce

Some divorcees never speak to one another again after the divorce is finalized. Other divorcees may be cordial to their exes. However, there are occasional cases where exes actually get back together after their divorce. This could happen over months, or even years, after the split. If the problems in your divorce are reversible, then with some hard work and time, there is a chance you could reconcile with your ex after divorce.

How-to: Reconcile with Your Ex After Divorce: Mending Broken Bonds

Reconciliation

Reconciliation does not always mean that you will remarry your ex. It could also just mean moving towards a friendly relationship and moving past your anger and hurt. While it may take time to reconcile with your ex, it is possible to do. Not everyone wants to live their life feeling bitter and angry for the rest of their lives. It is not uncommon for someone to still even be in love with their ex. Divorce gives people space and distance to really think and envision their lives. They may even be able to see workable solutions to the problems that caused them to split in the first place.

Communication

If you want to reconcile with your ex, first start by trying to increase communication with them. However, do not harass them. Instead, make sure that they want to communicate with you too. Have open, honest communication with them. If you think that your divorce was a mistake, they may also feel the same way.

In the same way that you did when you first started dating, show interested in your ex and the things they are involved in. Talk through the revelations you have made about your relationship, and tell them the things you are doing to work towards making positive changes.

Move Slowly

Remember that there were reasons that you and this person ended up getting divorced in the first place. These issues are not just going to instantly vanish overnight. This is why you should proceed cautiously and carefully. Sure, this could be a new beginning, but you can not forget that you also have a history that needs to be addressed. Carefully consider this, and work towards a resolution together.

It is a good idea to see a counselor or therapist in this situation. You should try and work on the traits, habits, and emotions that may have contributed or led to the marital issues in the first place. Additionally, you should talk to a couples therapist together. This third-party can help determine if it is a good idea for you to get back together. If not, they can also help you come to terms with the divorce as well.

How-to: Help a Friend Who Got a DWI Charge

Someone you know and love has just gotten a DWI. Do you just write them off, or do you hang around and be there for them. This does not mean that you have completely taken full responsibility for your friend. Getting through a DWI can be emotionally draining and confusing. A friend who got a DWI charge could always use a little extra emotional support from another friend, or have someone believe in them. Remember that their bad decisions do not automatically make them a bad person.

How-to: Help a Friend Who Got a DWI Charge: Be Encouraging

Encourage

Encourage your friend to be proactive with their DWI charge. Being proactive could show a judge that your friend is serious about not getting another DWI in the future. Ways they could be proactive would be to attend AA meetings. Also, you could always go with them to be supportive, if possible. Encourage them to take an alcohol awareness class or seek treatment as well.

While you can encourage them, do not enable them. The best way to ensure that they do not drink and drive again is to let them learn from it. This means that they need to take responsibility for their actions and face their penalties. For example, they need to pay all of the associated fines and face their own consequences. In fact, you jumping in to save the day will not help them to learn anything. While you can be there for them, they need to learn the consequences and dangers of drinking and driving for themself.

Listen

Your friend who got a DWI charge will likely be going through some tough days. Do your best to be supportive and listen if they need someone to talk to. For instance, they may be too embarrassed or afraid to talk to many people about what they went through or are going through. Be a good, trustworthy friend and be there for your friend. Keep their private things private, as they are not going to want you to tell everyone what they confided in you.

While you do not want to let your friend take advantage of you or run all over you, it is a good idea to help a friend who got a DWI charge. You can be there in different ways like listening to them and being encouraging to them.

How-to: Manage Salt on the Road During Winter

Winter brings slick driving conditions. Depending on where you live, snow and ice can build up on the road. In order to counteract that, many regions put down road salts to help melt ice. While this can really help melt the ice on the roads, it can negatively affect your vehicle. Learn how to manage salt on the road during winter.

How-to: Manage Salt on the Road During Winter: Protecting Your Vehicle

Why Salt?

Cities and states put salt on the road because it actually lowers the freezing point of water. 32 degrees Fahrenheit is the temperature at which water normally freezes. However, when water is exposed to salt, the temperature needs to be lower than 32 in order to get the water to freeze. In fact, the more salt you add, the colder it needs to be for water to freeze. If you treat the roads with a layer of a salt and water mix, this helps to keep the roads from freezing over. Therefore, they are safer for vehicles to drive on.

However, if the road temperature goes below 15 degrees Fahrenheit, the salt may not be enough to keep the roads from freezing. In this case, road crews may add sand to the top of the ice to provide more traction.

Salt and Your Vehicle

While salt on the road is helpful for keeping drivers safe, it is actually not good for your vehicle. Salt can cause any exposed metal on your car to start to corrode. This can be an issue for people living on an island surrounded by salt water, or those who drive on roads with salt brine on them. The brake and fuel lines are located near the undercarriage of the car. This area is where most of the salt damage happens. Therefore, the brake and fuel lines are very susceptible to rust and corrosion.

What to Do

In order to protect against salts on the road during winter, it’s important to be proactive. Give your car a good wax job to help protect the finish. If you have any scrapes, chips, or rust spots, go ahead and have those fixed before winter weather hits. Make sure to wash your car often. Spray down your car to wash away the salt. Invest in a car wash that will clean the undercarriage every few weeks in order to clean the areas of your car most likely to be affected by salt. Also, if you get on the road behind a truck spraying salt on the roads, stay back. This will keep your car from getting sprayed with salt too.

How-to: Decide if Someone Should Borrow Your Car

If you would like to learn more, check out this video about the risks of letting someone borrow your car.

We have all had it happen before. A friend or family member could be without a car for any given reason, and they ask to use yours. Maybe theirs is in the shop for maintenance or even for repairs after an accident. They could have flown into town to visit you. Perhaps their kid needed to borrow theirs so they are without one. There are plenty of reasons that someone may ask you to borrow their car. What you need to decide on is if you are willing to let someone borrow your car.

How-to: Decide if Someone Should Borrow Your Car: Weighing the Risks

Driving History

Before you let anyone borrow your car, you should consider what kind of a driver they are. Do you know they are a terrible, reckless driver? You may want to think twice about letting them drive your car. They will be unfamiliar with your car, so putting a bad driver in a vehicle they are unfamiliar with could be a total disaster. Also, consider things such as if your friend or a family member has a history of having a DUI. Anything that could mean a bad driving record should be a red flag to you.

Insurance

You will also want to consider your car insurance before you let someone borrow your car. This could come into play if the person driving your car is involved in an accident. Car insurance follows the vehicle, not the driver. When you allow a friend, family member, or babysitter to borrow your vehicle, your insurance takes primary coverage. For example, the person if your car is not at fault, the driver who is at fault will have to use their insurance to cover the damage. However, if the person who is using your car is at fault,  your insurance would likely cover the damage to the other driver’s car. In addition, your liability coverage would likely pay for any injuries or damage to the other driver as well.

Unless you have collision coverage, your insurance would not cover damage to your own car. Plus, if you do end up repairing damages using your collision coverage, you will probably have to pay your deductible. This would be the case even though you weren’t driving at the time of the accident. Keep this in mind when you consider whether or not you want to loan out your car.