Taking on sole custody after divorce can be a big adjustment. It can seem overwhelming if you’ve been living together and suddenly are the only guardian. However, it’s important to remember that both you and your children will adjust in time to your new schedule. The most important thing is to get support. Hire a sitter or childcare provider so that you can take breaks sometimes. Listen to your children and their needs. Give yourself some slack and remember that things don’t have to be perfect all the time. It’s okay if the schedule gets a little messy for a few weeks or even months. Your children will bounce back quickly. And finally, have a backup plan in cases of emergency so that you are prepared for anything. Sole custody can seem overwhelming at first, but you will adjust soon enough.
How to Take on Sole Custody: A Big Adjustment
The first thing to do when taking on sole custody after divorce is to get support. If you’ve been in a situation where there were two parents and now it’s just you, you’ll need some breaks. Plan to enroll your children in daycare or preschool, even if just part-time. If not, you could hire a nanny or babysitter to give you some breaks during the week. If you have any local family members, maybe they could watch the children now and then to give you a break. It’s important to take time for yourself to preserve your mental health. You can’t take care of your children as well if you’re completely exhausted.
Listen to Your Children
Another thing to remember when taking on sole custody after divorce is to listen to your children. Divorce is stressful for kids too. It’s a big upheaval for their lives as well. They may be emotional or have times when they need to talk to you about their feelings. Be a good listener to them and remember that this adjustment can be hard for them as well. It’s never good to bash your ex in front of your kids. Instead, continually remind them that they are well-loved and that their schedules will seem normal to them soon.
Give Yourself Some Slack
Taking on sole custody after divorce can get overwhelming, and parents can get bogged down easily. Don’t sweat the small stuff for a little while. The adjustment period is not the time to worry about whether your children are getting exactly the right nutrients or going down for naps at the same minute every day. Let them have a little extra screen time. Order takeout if you’re feeling exhausted. Try to remember that kids bounce back quickly from changes to their schedules. It’s ok to let things slide for a few weeks while you adjust to your new schedules.
Make Back-Up Plans
Finally, when taking on sole custody after divorce, make backup plans. You never know when you will get knocked down with a stomach bug or have some emergency come up at work. It’s good to have a solid list of caregivers you can call on if you need help spur of the moment. In addition, while it’s not fun to think about, it’s important to make legal plans as well. Update your will to reflect what will happen with your children if you were to become incapacitated or in an emergency. It’s important to have backup plans in case unpredictable things come up.
Winning sole custody after divorce can be a huge win. However, it does come with its stresses. Suddenly you are the sole caregiver to your children. Enlist some support from helpful friends and family or a babysitting service. Listen to your children to make sure that you are taking care of their emotional needs as well as physical needs. Don’t stress about everything on the schedule being perfect, just get through the adjustment period. And finally, make backup plans in cases of emergency. Sole custody can seem overwhelming, but it’s important to remember that it will seem normal to you in a short time. You and your children will adjust quickly to your new schedules.
Trash talking your ex after a divorce can be very tempting, but it’s important to resist the urge. You’re getting divorced, so nobody expects you to like your ex at the moment. However, airing your dirty laundry can have a lot of unintended consequences. If you’re talking badly about your ex in front of your kids it can hurt them emotionally. In addition, your family will remember everything you say, even in the heat of the moment. What you say can come back to bite you eventually. Trash talking to friends can also pull them in different directions and make it harder for them to maintain mutual friendships with your ex. And finally, talking badly online can end up hurting your divorce settlement and even your custody situation. It’s best to retrain from trash-talking altogether.
The Dangers of Trash Talking Your Ex After Divorce: Speak Kindly or Not at All
Trash Talking In Front of Kids
Trash talking your ex in front of your kids can be the most damaging thing you can do after a divorce. Especially if you’re talking about their other parent. They love you both equally. Hearing horrible things from one parent about another can make them question themselves and make them distrust either of you. It can also make them feel guilty for loving their other parent. It’s best to maintain as friendly a relationship as possible when dealing with your ex in front of your children. Divorce is hard enough on children already, don’t add feelings of guilt and mistrust into the equation too.
Trash Talking to Family
Trash talking your ex in front of your family can also be tempting but is dangerous. During a divorce, your feelings will probably fluctuate a lot about your ex. There might be times when you’re feeling nostalgic about them. But your family will remember everything you say about them. They won’t be as forgiving as you might be. Things said in the heat of the moment can come back to haunt you if you’re feeling nostalgic about your ex and want a sympathetic ear.
Trash Talking to Friends
Many times, couples have mutual friendships that they want to maintain even after the divorce. If this is the case for you, trash-talking your ex to your friends can make that difficult for everybody. It can force your friends to feel like they need to choose sides. If your goal is to not split your friends and to keep those relationships, it’s best to keep your divorce private.
Trash Talking Online
Finally, people often forget that trash-talking your ex online can have very big consequences. Attorneys look at your social media accounts. Even if your Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter has privacy settings, there’s no way to prevent people from sharing the info that you’ve put online publicly. If word gets back to your ex or their attorney, it could hurt your settlement by making them more antagonistic. In addition, if you’re fighting for custody it can negatively affect you. One aspect of custody agreements that are often looked at is whether or not you can maintain a cordial relationship with your co-parenting ex. If you’ve put them on blast online, it could hurt your case.
Trash talking your ex is just never a good idea. It might feel good at the moment, but it can have very negative consequences. Trash talking in front of your children is especially harmful and can hurt their feelings. Your family will probably be on your side and will remember everything you say, so if you ever change your mind about your ex or want some sympathy, they’ll be less likely to help you. Trash talking to your mutual friends can put them in an awkward spot too. And finally, trash-talking online can hurt your settlement or custody battle as well. Although it might seem tempting, trash-talking is just never a good idea. It can only serve to hurt people, so it’s best to resist it altogether.
If you are wondering if your partner is abusing alcohol, you can look for signs and clues from how they live their lives and interact with others. If you do think they are drinking too much, hopefully, you can get them the help that they need. One clue that they might be an alcoholic is if their social life revolves around alcohol. Another sign to look for is if they are cranky and irritable when they don’t drink. Another warning sign is people who don’t show outward signs of drunkenness even when they’ve had enough drinks to be intoxicated. And finally, if drinking is causing problems in their life it’s a clear red flag. All of these can be clues that your partner is drinking too heavily. Hopefully, you can provide a support system for them to get the help they need to get sober.
Signs That Your Partner is Abusing Alcohol: Signs and Symptoms of a Problem
Their Social Life Revolves Around Alcohol
One indication that your partner is abusing alcohol is that their entire social life revolves around it. If every date involves drinking and your weekends are filled with barhopping, it could be a red flag. Additionally, if they wind up drinking even when they don’t plan on it, it can be worrisome. For example, if your partner says they won’t drink but then give in and order something when they see others drinking, it could mean that they have a problem with resisting alcohol. While it’s fine to meet friends for drinks or order a fancy wine while out to dinner, if you’re entire social calendar revolves around alcohol, it’s a problem.
They Are Irritable When They Don’t Drink
Another sign that your partner is abusing alcohol is if they are irritable when they don’t drink. Excessive drinking can change the way your brain functions. It makes it so that your brain can no longer function normally without the alcohol. When you take that alcohol away, it can cause crankiness and irritability as your brain and body adjust to the absence of alcohol. This is one minor symptom of withdrawal. If your partner suffers from this or any other withdrawal symptom, it’s an indication that their body is too dependent on alcohol.
They Hold Their Liquor Too Well
It might be a sign that your partner is abusing alcohol if they hold their liquor too well. People who don’t show outward signs of drunkenness when they are intoxicated have a higher tolerance. But you can only get a higher tolerance for alcohol by drinking larger and larger quantities over time. While some people take pride in how much alcohol they’re able to handle, it can be a warning sign of an alcohol dependency problem.
Drinking Is Causing Problems in Their Life
One final sign that your partner is abusing alcohol is if drinking is causing problems in their life. Excessive drinking can lead to issues with family members and friends, partners, and even work. If they’re having trouble keeping up with personal relationships it can be a warning sign. Additionally, if they’re having issues with coming in late or hungover to work, it’s a definite red flag. Their family might be aware of any past drinking issues and be quick to get concerned if they’re drinking again. Take your cues from family members and long-time friends of your partner. If they seem concerned about the drinking, you should start analyzing your partner’s behavior for signs of alcoholism.
Unfortunately, many people are adept at hiding intense alcohol problems. However, there are signs that your partner is abusing alcohol if you look closely. Recognize if their entire social calendar revolves around drinking. Also, take note if they seem irritable when they abstain from alcohol because this might mean they are dependent. Furthermore, if they hold their liquor well and it’s difficult to tell when they are drunk even after many drinks, it can be a sign that they are drinking too much. And finally, if they’re having issues with family, friends, or their work it’s time to take a closer look. Hopefully, if you see these signs you can get your partner the help they need to get sober.
Your divorce is final. It’s taken months and what might feel like years of stress and anxiety. You’ve put so much energy into keeping yourself organized and hashing out details. But it’s finally over. Now what? You might be at a loss because it’s the first time you’re confronting your new life without the distraction of a divorce. Take time to acknowledge that life that you’ve lost and grieve your divorce. If you’ve been holding off telling others, now is the time when you can finally let your friends and family know. Next, make a plan for yourself and how you’d like the next years of your life to look like. And finally, take your time moving on. You’ve gone through one of the biggest stressors in your life, and you can move forward with a new life.
My Divorce is Final: Now What do I do? Tips for Moving On
Take Time to Grieve
Some have compared the stress of divorce to being comparable to the stress of losing somebody close to you. You started your married life together with a version of what your future would look like. But you probably never expected to be going through a divorce. It’s ok to take time to grieve that life you planned to have. It’s healthy. After your divorce is final, acknowledge what you’ve lost and take time to experience your sadness. Try writing down your feelings in a journal to organize your thoughts. You might even be able to gain more perspective on your relationship with your spouse once you’re able to step away.
Let Others Know
If your divorce is final, now is the time to open up and let others know. If you’ve been hiding your separation, now is the time to give people notice. You may need to alert people if you’ve changed your address. Similarly, if you’ve changed your name you’ll need to update your friends and family. You’ll also need to register the name and address change with the DMV, Social Security Office, and others. Go at your own pace when telling people about your divorce. Keep it simple and try not to badmouth your ex.
Make a Plan
After your divorce is final, you’ll need to make a plan for your future. Things probably look very different than you were expecting when you first got married. Now it’s time to make a new plan for the next few years and beyond. The first thing up is to make a financial plan. Your assets and income might have been affected in the divorce, so making a budget is more important than ever. You’ll also want to plan out how to handle future events with your ex if you have split custody. Figure out what your new life looks like and set goals for yourself. You’ll adapt to your new life soon and will be proud of yourself when you reach milestones.
Move on at Your Own Pace
You’ll want to move on at your own pace after your divorce is final. While it’s important to eventually move on, give yourself plenty of time. You want to make sure that you are comfortable being single again before you try to seek out a new relationship. Try to keep things moving slowly. Hopefully, you’ve learned a lot about yourself and what you need in a future partner. Taking it slow will allow you to make sure you are both a good fit for each other before things get too serious. Once you are comfortable, try putting yourself out there and meeting new people. Maybe you can make a connection with somebody new that will be an even better partner for you.
After your divorce is final, you may feel a little bit at a loss since you’ve been so focused on the divorce for so long. Take plenty of time for yourself to grieve and accept that your life looks different than you expected. Also, give yourself time to get comfortable being single before moving on romantically. Let your friends and family know if you haven’t already. Now is also the time to update your contact information if your address or name has changed. Finally, make a plan for yourself and layout how you’d like your future to look. Hopefully, the next chapter of your life will be fulfilling and exciting.
Recovery from drug or alcohol addiction can be a very long and difficult journey for many people. Trying pet therapy for addiction can be very useful for recovery for several reasons. Pets have been proven to boost your mood. Who can’t resist a happy dog’s boundless energy? In addition, pets instill a sense of responsibility for their owners which can be an important step in recovery. Pets have also been shown to increase self-confidence. And finally, a therapy pet is an excellent source of support when you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed. If you’re struggling with addiction, consider adopting a therapy pet to help you with your recovery and provide a great source of happiness and fun in your life.
Using Pet Therapy for Addiction: The Many Benefits of a Therapy Pet
One reason why pet therapy for addiction is so helpful is that pets improve our moods. Most people feel calmer in the presence of their therapy pets or even household pets. Some studies have shown that having pets present during therapy sessions allows patients to open up more fully to their doctor. Pets are cute, cuddly, and so loving. Just being around them can boost your mood and make you feel less stressed about recovery.
Another reason why pet therapy for addiction is beneficial is that pets create a sense of responsibility for their owners. Taking care of another living thing is hard work. You have to be present for them every day and keep track of their schedule along with your own. Some addicts find that taking care of their pets is a big reason as to why they want to get sober. It’s hard to be a good pet parent if you’ve fallen off the wagon. Therefore, owning a pet might give you a further needed push to get clean.
Pet therapy for addiction also boosts self-confidence. Being a good pet owner is incredibly rewarding. Pets show gratitude for even the smallest gestures, so you’ll feel great every time you show your pet some love. This feeling of achievement and goal-reaching can boost your self-confidence. Being a responsible pet owner is a big job, and doing it well should boost your self-worth.
Be a Source of Comfort
Finally, one final and obvious reason why pet therapy for addiction works so well is that pets are a great source of comfort. Battling addiction comes with a lot of struggles. You’ll have hard times when you’ll want to throw in the towel. But a comforting pet might just help you get through the hard times. Pets are sympathetic animals, and can usually sense when their owners are unhappy. They’ll probably try and comfort you when you are feeling overwhelmed. Even the very act of petting an animal has stress-reducing effects on the human brain. A pet can be a great source of comfort for anybody struggling with addiction.
Pet therapy for addiction has been successful for many people in recovery. Pets can become a huge and loving part of your life that will give you the strength to get through the struggles of recovery. Pets improve your mood and can be a great source of comfort when you are feeling down. In addition, they instill a lot of responsibility in their owners. Being a great pet owner can be a huge boost in your self-confidence. All of these things can help make getting sober easier for you. In addition to helping with your recovery, you might just find that your pet is a loving and fun companion for many years.