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Leaving a Physically Abusive Relationship Safely

It can be dangerous to get out of a physically abusive relationship. Abusers are often fueled by deep insecurities. When their partner threatens to leave or tries to walk out, it can cause them to snap and escalate their abuse. The first step is to gain the trust of somebody close to you that you can turn to if things are getting out of hand. It’s also important to do research and find where to go but to do it safely. Practice your escape and make sure you have a safe word for a friend if you need help. And finally, know where to go once you leave, like a shelter. Hopefully, you can get out safely and find the help you need to allow you to emotionally heal from your ordeal.

leaving a Physically Abusive Relationship Safely: Get Help

Find Somebody You Can Trust

One thing that can help you get out of a physically abusive relationship is somebody on the outside helping. Find a close friend or neighbor whom you trust completely. You can confide in them about what is going on and ask them if they would be able to help you if you needed it. Make sure and memorize their number in case your abuser has control over your phone. Establish a code word with them to use in case your abuser is attacking, so they know that you need emergency help.

Be Careful About Surveillance

If you are trying to leave a physically abusive relationship, one thing to keep in mind is to be careful about surveillance. Many abusers keep careful tabs on their partners. For example, they might go through your phone or install tracking devices on your car or computer. It is safest to research your escape on somebody else’s phone or computer. Try a local library or borrowing from a friend if you need to look up information about getting away from your abuser.

Practice Your Escape

It’s important to practice your escape from your physically abusive relationship. Know your partner’s schedule so that you might know a time when you’re alone. If you have children, practice with them as well. It’s best to leave when your abuser is away. Trying to confront them and tell them that you’re leaving often can turn dangerous. Memorize how to get to a safe location so that you can get there even if you have to leave your phone or computer behind.

Know Where to Go

Finally, when escaping a physically abusive relationship, know where to go. There are domestic violence shelters that you can find within your community. You can also head straight to the police or hospital to get help. If you are not ready for that you can go to a friend or close family member that you trust. Even if you don’t have a long-term plan of where to stay, that’s ok. The important thing is that you get out safely before the abuse escalates.

The idea of escaping a physically abusive relationship can be quite intimidating. It can often be dangerous as well. Abusers might escalate their violence when their partner tries to leave. Therefore, it’s best to have a plan in mind and prepare yourself in advance. And also to leave when your abuser is not at home. Find somebody you can trust and let them help you with your escape. They can be a haven to go to once you leave. Be careful about using your own devices to do any research. Practice your escape plan and know exactly where you’re going to go once you’re out. There are many support groups and help available for victims of abuse. Hopefully, you can get out safely and find some support so that you can move on from this painful relationship.

The Dangers of Trash Talking Your Ex After Divorce

Trash talking your ex after a divorce can be very tempting, but it’s important to resist the urge. You’re getting divorced, so nobody expects you to like your ex at the moment. However, airing your dirty laundry can have a lot of unintended consequences. If you’re talking badly about your ex in front of your kids it can hurt them emotionally. In addition, your family will remember everything you say, even in the heat of the moment. What you say can come back to bite you eventually. Trash talking to friends can also pull them in different directions and make it harder for them to maintain mutual friendships with your ex. And finally, talking badly online can end up hurting your divorce settlement and even your custody situation. It’s best to retrain from trash-talking altogether.

The Dangers of Trash Talking Your Ex After Divorce: Speak Kindly or Not at All

Trash Talking In Front of Kids

Trash talking your ex in front of your kids can be the most damaging thing you can do after a divorce. Especially if you’re talking about their other parent. They love you both equally. Hearing horrible things from one parent about another can make them question themselves and make them distrust either of you. It can also make them feel guilty for loving their other parent. It’s best to maintain as friendly a relationship as possible when dealing with your ex in front of your children. Divorce is hard enough on children already, don’t add feelings of guilt and mistrust into the equation too.

Trash Talking to Family

Trash talking your ex in front of your family can also be tempting but is dangerous. During a divorce, your feelings will probably fluctuate a lot about your ex. There might be times when you’re feeling nostalgic about them. But your family will remember everything you say about them. They won’t be as forgiving as you might be. Things said in the heat of the moment can come back to haunt you if you’re feeling nostalgic about your ex and want a sympathetic ear.

Trash Talking to Friends

Many times, couples have mutual friendships that they want to maintain even after the divorce. If this is the case for you, trash-talking your ex to your friends can make that difficult for everybody. It can force your friends to feel like they need to choose sides. If your goal is to not split your friends and to keep those relationships, it’s best to keep your divorce private.

Trash Talking Online

Finally, people often forget that trash-talking your ex online can have very big consequences. Attorneys look at your social media accounts. Even if your Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter has privacy settings, there’s no way to prevent people from sharing the info that you’ve put online publicly. If word gets back to your ex or their attorney, it could hurt your settlement by making them more antagonistic. In addition, if you’re fighting for custody it can negatively affect you. One aspect of custody agreements that are often looked at is whether or not you can maintain a cordial relationship with your co-parenting ex. If you’ve put them on blast online, it could hurt your case.

Trash talking your ex is just never a good idea. It might feel good at the moment, but it can have very negative consequences. Trash talking in front of your children is especially harmful and can hurt their feelings. Your family will probably be on your side and will remember everything you say, so if you ever change your mind about your ex or want some sympathy, they’ll be less likely to help you. Trash talking to your mutual friends can put them in an awkward spot too. And finally, trash-talking online can hurt your settlement or custody battle as well. Although it might seem tempting, trash-talking is just never a good idea. It can only serve to hurt people, so it’s best to resist it altogether.

My Divorce is Final: Now What Do I Do?

Your divorce is final. It’s taken months and what might feel like years of stress and anxiety. You’ve put so much energy into keeping yourself organized and hashing out details. But it’s finally over. Now what? You might be at a loss because it’s the first time you’re confronting your new life without the distraction of a divorce. Take time to acknowledge that life that you’ve lost and grieve your divorce. If you’ve been holding off telling others, now is the time when you can finally let your friends and family know. Next, make a plan for yourself and how you’d like the next years of your life to look like. And finally, take your time moving on. You’ve gone through one of the biggest stressors in your life, and you can move forward with a new life.

My Divorce is Final: Now What do I do? Tips for Moving On

Take Time to Grieve

Some have compared the stress of divorce to being comparable to the stress of losing somebody close to you. You started your married life together with a version of what your future would look like. But you probably never expected to be going through a divorce. It’s ok to take time to grieve that life you planned to have. It’s healthy. After your divorce is final, acknowledge what you’ve lost and take time to experience your sadness. Try writing down your feelings in a journal to organize your thoughts. You might even be able to gain more perspective on your relationship with your spouse once you’re able to step away.

Let Others Know

If your divorce is final, now is the time to open up and let others know. If you’ve been hiding your separation, now is the time to give people notice. You may need to alert people if you’ve changed your address. Similarly, if you’ve changed your name you’ll need to update your friends and family. You’ll also need to register the name and address change with the DMV, Social Security Office, and others. Go at your own pace when telling people about your divorce. Keep it simple and try not to badmouth your ex.

Make a Plan

After your divorce is final, you’ll need to make a plan for your future. Things probably look very different than you were expecting when you first got married. Now it’s time to make a new plan for the next few years and beyond. The first thing up is to make a financial plan. Your assets and income might have been affected in the divorce, so making a budget is more important than ever. You’ll also want to plan out how to handle future events with your ex if you have split custody. Figure out what your new life looks like and set goals for yourself. You’ll adapt to your new life soon and will be proud of yourself when you reach milestones.

Move on at Your Own Pace

You’ll want to move on at your own pace after your divorce is final. While it’s important to eventually move on, give yourself plenty of time. You want to make sure that you are comfortable being single again before you try to seek out a new relationship. Try to keep things moving slowly. Hopefully, you’ve learned a lot about yourself and what you need in a future partner. Taking it slow will allow you to make sure you are both a good fit for each other before things get too serious. Once you are comfortable, try putting yourself out there and meeting new people. Maybe you can make a connection with somebody new that will be an even better partner for you.

After your divorce is final, you may feel a little bit at a loss since you’ve been so focused on the divorce for so long. Take plenty of time for yourself to grieve and accept that your life looks different than you expected. Also, give yourself time to get comfortable being single before moving on romantically. Let your friends and family know if you haven’t already. Now is also the time to update your contact information if your address or name has changed. Finally, make a plan for yourself and layout how you’d like your future to look. Hopefully, the next chapter of your life will be fulfilling and exciting.

Handling an Estate After the Loss of a Parent

Handling an estate after the loss of a parent can feel overwhelming. And of course, it comes at a time when you are already grieving. If you’re the person that will be the executor of their will, you’ll need to manage the estate process. However, after you’ve dealt with the immediate aftermath of their passing, you can hire an estate attorney to assist you. They’ll help you locate the will of your parents and decide how to proceed from there. Managing the estate can be a lengthy and difficult process, but your attorney will be able to help you manage things.

Dealing with an Estate After the Loss of a Parent: Where Do You Go from Here?

Deal with Immediate Needs

If you’re suddenly handling an estate after the loss of a parent, the first thing you’ll need to do is notifying friends and family members of their passing. You’ll also need to make sure that somebody will take care of their pets if they had any. At least for the time being. Your parents might have instructions in their will regarding their pets. You’ll need to do paperwork with the mortuary or funeral home and then plan their service as well.

Hire an Estate Attorney

After you’ve dealt with the immediate aftermath of losing a parent, you’ll start the next step of handling an estate. The best thing to do is hire a knowledgeable estate or family attorney. They’ll be able to help you organize everything and figure out the exact wishes of your parents. For example, they can help you figure out how to handle assets and debts that your parents might have. An attorney can make the process much less stressful.

Locate the Will

It’s important to locate the will when handling an estate. This is the final wishes of your parents and might include details of how they want you to handle their assets. If somebody dies without making a will, it is referred to as dying intestate. If this is the case the state might decide what happens to their estate. It’s important to make a will so that your family members will know your final wishes when the time comes.

Manage the Estate

After you’ve found the will, the next part of handling an estate is actually managing the estate itself. You’ll need to do an inventory of all the possessions, assets, property, and debts. You might need to pay debts or even liquidate assets. Once all of the debts are paid, then you can distribute assets. The will should guide you on how your parents wanted this to be handled. Your attorney can help you deal with any conflicts that come up at this stage. Finally, after you’ve done all of this, you can close the estate.

Handling an estate after your parent has passed away can feel very stressful. It’s incredibly helpful to have a knowledgeable attorney by your side throughout the entire process. You’ll need to deal with the immediate logistics first like arranging the funeral. However, afterward, you’ll need to find their last will and testament. This will help you decide exactly how to manage their estate. You’ll distribute assets and pay debts, and eventually be able to close the estate. While it can be a difficult time in your life, hopefully, your attorney can assist you with making the process as easy as possible.

Re-Building Confidence After a Divorce

Divorce can often leave people questioning their self-esteem. Re-building confidence after a divorce is important so that you can begin to get back to living your best life. You can also have more confidence to grow and begin this new chapter of your life on a positive note. Try to refocus on old hobbies or passions that make you feel happy. Reconnecting with old friends can also boost your confidence. Many people find positive affirmations to be extremely helpful with boosting self-confidence. And finally, reach out and get help from a therapist if you feel like it would be helpful. Divorce can shatter your self-confidence, but it’s important to gain it back so you can focus on the exciting adventures to come.

Re-Building Confidence After a Divorce: Get Your Groove Back

Refocus on Old Hobbies

One way to rebuild confidence after a divorce is to re-focus on old hobbies or passions. Oftentimes, divorce can be extremely time-consuming and stressful. It’s hard to make time for hobbies. Now that your divorce is final, you can try to get back to hobbies you care about. If you’re a talented painter, make time to paint. Or try to find a new hobby like yoga or meditation. Finding things you’re passionate about can really boost your self-confidence as you hone new skills.

Reconnect with Old Friends

Another way to rebuild confidence after a divorce is to reconnect with old friends. You might have lost touch with people in the stress of the divorce process. If that’s the case, take the time now to reach out to them. For example, ask a friend to dinner or for a quick coffee. They can help you process your feelings about the divorce. It’s also confidence-boosting to be around people you care about and who respect you.

Positive Affirmations

Many people find positive affirmations to be very helpful in rebuilding confidence after a divorce. Affirmations are positive statements you say to yourself repeatedly to reprogram your brain to focus on positivity instead of negative self-talk. Many people find it helpful to write them where they’ll be seen frequently. For example, on the bathroom mirror so that they see them each morning as soon as they wake up. It could be something as simple as “I am worth loving.” Conversely, it could be something specific to yourself like “I will name three things I’m grateful for each morning as I brush my teeth.”

Get Help

Re-building confidence after a divorce can be difficult. Sometimes it’s hard to figure it out on your own. Try reaching out to a therapist or counselor. They’ll be able to help you with negative self-talk and self-doubt. They can often recommend ideas for boosting self-confidence. In addition, it can be very helpful just to have another person to vent your feelings to. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a professional for help.

Divorce can be very damaging to your self-confidence. If you’ve realized that you now have lower self-esteem it’s important to re-build confidence after a divorce. Re-focus on old hobbies or passions. Finding things that you’re good at can boost your confidence. Next, re-connect with old friends with who you’ve lost touch. In addition, many people find positive affirmations to be helpful with self-confidence. And finally, get help from a professional. A therapist or counselor is a great resource to use if you’re struggling with low self-esteem. If you can build back your self-confidence after a divorce, you can move on to the next exciting stage of life.

Wondering If Adoption is Right for You?

If you’ve been wondering if adoption is right for you and your family, you might be trying to figure out all the various factors to consider. There are so many things to think about when looking into adoption. You’ll want to discuss with your partner what age child you’d like to adopt. In addition, you’ll need to consider if you’re wanting to adopt a child with disabilities or siblings. And finally, there are various other considerations to take like your current family situation and the finances of adoption. Hopefully, you’ll be able to decide if this is the best choice for you and your family.

Wondering if Adoption is Right for You? Things to Consider

Age of Child

If you’re wondering if adoption is right for you, one of the first things to consider is the age of a child you’d like to adopt. The adoption process works differently for adopting a newborn versus an older child. If you’re adopting a new baby, you’ll probably match with a birth mom before she delivers. Based on the plan you decide on with her, you may or may not be allowed to be present at the birth. There are many older children who are needing to find forever homes as well. Consider whether adopting an older child might be right for your family.

Disabilities

Another consideration to take when deciding if adoption is right for you and your family is to decide if you’d like to adopt a child with disabilities. There are many children and infants looking for forever homes who have special needs. Some have severe special needs that require a lot of medical attention or expenses. In addition, if the child you adopt is wheelchair-bound, you’ll need to consider how to get them in and around your house and how vehicle transportation will work.

Siblings

Another consideration to take when wondering if adoption is right for you and your family is to think of whether or not you’d like to adopt more than one child. There are many siblings inside the adoption system in the United States. They need to find homes together so that they’ll remain together for their entire lives. You’ll need to consider the financial and emotional support needed to bring more than one child into your family.

Current Familial Status

Finally, one final thing to consider when deciding if adoption is right for you is to take into account your current family situation. Do you already have children? How will they react to a new sibling? This might influence whether or not you adopt a child that will be older than them versus a younger sibling. In addition, you’ll need to consider your financial status and whether you’re prepared for the expenses of adoption and raising another child. And finally, take into account if you have a support system in place to help you with childcare if that’s something you’ll need.

There are so many things to consider when deciding whether adoption is right for you and your family. You and your partner need to be on the same page with all of these considerations. You’ll want to think about whether you’d like to bring home a newborn or an older child. In addition, there are many children in the foster system in America who have disabilities or who need to be adopted with their siblings. And finally, consider the emotional and financial factors involved with bringing home a new child. Once you make your decision, you’ll want to have an attorney help guide you through the process to make it more manageable and stress-free. Adoption might be the perfect way to make your family complete and connect you with a child looking for a forever home with a loving parent like you.