Getting back to work after your divorce can be tricky, especially if you haven’t worked in a while. However, once you do land a job interview post-divorce, you may worry about how you can best prepare. There are a few things you’ll want to do in particular that’ll help you get ready…
Job Interview Post-Divorce: Tools For Success
Do your research
One of the best things to do for a job interview post-divorce is some research. Now, you probably already did some when you were applying. Still, you’ll want to go deeper than just what the job description says. This is a good opportunity for you to show that you’re really interested in the position.
Take this time to really get a good understanding of what the company does, their history, and how they present themselves. You should also look up anything in the job description that you’re unaware of. If you know who’s interviewing you, find out some more about them as well. Every little thing will help!
Practice as much as you can
Odds are you’ve got a lot on your mind coming out of your divorce. However, for a job interview post-divorce, you’ll really want to focus and practice. Trying to remember everything on the spot will make it more likely for you to freeze up and make a bad impression.
Instead, spend as much time practicing beforehand as you can. You don’t want to sound robotic, but you’ll want to have a general answer in mind for their questions. Some common ones include going over your experience, why you want to work with them, your work style, and future goals. Once you know these questions are coming, it’ll be a lot easier to plan your answers.
Be ready to prove yourself
It’s very rare for someone to be perfectly suited for a job. Rather, most people have one or two areas they’re somewhat underqualified in. Companies know this and use the interviewing process as a way to see if you have any familiarity with these areas and if you’re willing to quickly learn them.
Therefore, as part of your job interview post-divorce, make sure you explain how you can use your past experience to help you at work. The last thing you want to say is that you simply have no experience whatsoever. Rather, they’ll be much more willing to hire you if you can show them how you have some of the necessary skills already.
Alimony is a court-ordered payment that is awarded to a spouse or former spouse within a separation or divorce agreement. There is a reason behind why court-ordered alimony exists. The purpose is to provide financial support to the spouse who makes a lower, or no, income. Laws about alimony can vary from state to state. This guide will help you learn a little bit more about alimony.
Court-Ordered Alimony: What is It?
The goal of court-ordered alimony is to provide spousal support. This is so that that the other spouse can continue the lifestyle they are used to, despite getting a divorce. No one wants to find themselves in unexpected debt after getting a divorce. The amount of money owed and duration of the payments could be different based on how long a couple was married. Also, they may also weigh the current and potential future incomes of the spouses. There are other factors that will determine the amount and type of alimony. Therefore, these are just a part of the equation.
Based on different factors, the length of time that court-ordered alimony must be paid for could vary. A judge, or both of the parties involved, may set an expiration date for the alimony. This means that the payer is no longer has to financially support his or her spouse. They no longer have to make payments.
In addition to this, there may be other reasons that alimony may end. These may vary from state to state. There could be a termination of alimony in the event that a former spouse remarries, children no longer require a parent at home, retirement, or death. Another possibility could be if a judge deems that the recipient is not making efforts to become self-sufficient.
It is important to keep in mind that court-ordered alimony should not be confused with child support. These are two separate things. For example, the purpose of alimony to support a spouse or former spouse. On the other hand, child support payments are meant to support one or more children from a relationship or marriage that has ended.
You now know some of the basics about court-ordered alimony. The criteria used for determining alimony can vary from state to state. Also, the circumstances that dictate many aspects of the alimony will differ based on location as well as the unique situation of both parties involved. Also, remember that child support and alimony are not the same things.
Every child is going to react differently when learning that their parents are getting a divorce. Of course, the age that a child is at will determine their understanding of what is going on. In some families, the children may be very aware of what is going on. In other instances, the parents may hide all of their disagreements from their kids. While every situation will be different, there are a few tips that can help kids understand divorce.
How-to Help Kids Understand Divorce: Preparing for the Talk
Planning For It
The best way to help kids understand divorce is to talk about it. Part of how a child will react will be based on how the parents tell their children that they are getting a divorce. Parents should put thought and consideration into how, when, and where they break the news to their children. It may be helpful to have the entire family meet together as a family so that the parents can answer the children’s questions. In this type of setting, there will be less opportunity for parents to blame the other for the divorce.
Make sure to plan a family meeting to have this big conversation. Go ahead and think through and plan out what is going to be said at this meeting. Parents should do their best to stay calm during this conversation. It will be best to plan to have a follow-up meeting to answer any further questions and address concerns.
Things to Say
Children often find divorce hard to understand. In order to help kids understand divorce, keep the initial conversation to the basics. Otherwise, it could get very overwhelming and confusing. The most important thing is for kids to know that their basic needs are still going to be met. They will also want reassurance that they will be able to continue a relationship with both parents if that is something that is possible.
Kids may not understand that a divorce is final, so that is something parents need to discuss so that kids do not have false hopes. It is easy for children to think that it is their fault that their parents are getting a divorce. Parents need to reassure kids that this is not their fault.
In order to help kids understand divorce, it is important to listen to their questions and concerns. Children will have worries about how their life will change, and parents need to be mindful of that. By listening to kid’s concerns and questions will show that the parents care. Parents should not be alarmed if they have to answer questions and give reassurance many times during this process. Also, parents should ask children about their fears and concerns, so that the parents show the kids that they care. It also shows kids that it is okay to be open about those feelings.
Telling kids about divorce is never easy. There are ways to help kids understand divorce. Once they understand it, it will help the transition process to hopefully be a bit smoother.
Some divorcees never speak to one another again after the divorce is finalized. Other divorcees may be cordial to their exes. However, there are occasional cases where exes actually get back together after their divorce. This could happen over months, or even years, after the split. If the problems in your divorce are reversible, then with some hard work and time, there is a chance you could reconcile with your ex after divorce.
How-to: Reconcile with Your Ex After Divorce: Mending Broken Bonds
Reconciliation does not always mean that you will remarry your ex. It could also just mean moving towards a friendly relationship and moving past your anger and hurt. While it may take time to reconcile with your ex, it is possible to do. Not everyone wants to live their life feeling bitter and angry for the rest of their lives. It is not uncommon for someone to still even be in love with their ex. Divorce gives people space and distance to really think and envision their lives. They may even be able to see workable solutions to the problems that caused them to split in the first place.
If you want to reconcile with your ex, first start by trying to increase communication with them. However, do not harass them. Instead, make sure that they want to communicate with you too. Have open, honest communication with them. If you think that your divorce was a mistake, they may also feel the same way.
In the same way that you did when you first started dating, show interested in your ex and the things they are involved in. Talk through the revelations you have made about your relationship, and tell them the things you are doing to work towards making positive changes.
Remember that there were reasons that you and this person ended up getting divorced in the first place. These issues are not just going to instantly vanish overnight. This is why you should proceed cautiously and carefully. Sure, this could be a new beginning, but you can not forget that you also have a history that needs to be addressed. Carefully consider this, and work towards a resolution together.
It is a good idea to see a counselor or therapist in this situation. You should try and work on the traits, habits, and emotions that may have contributed or led to the marital issues in the first place. Additionally, you should talk to a couples therapist together. This third-party can help determine if it is a good idea for you to get back together. If not, they can also help you come to terms with the divorce as well.
It is difficult to get a marriage annulment, but there are some situations that allow for it. This is different from a divorce, because it completely cancels the marriage. For example, a divorce declares that a marriage happened and is now over. On the other hand, an annulment declares that the marriage never technically existed and was never valid.
Marriage Annulment: What It Is
There are not many reasons someone would be able to go through with a marriage annulment. However, there are several situations that do potentially allow for it. An example would be if one spouse is forced, or coerced, into getting married. Or, if one spouse lied about something that was essential to the marriage. Examples include things such as mental health issues or impotency. Bigamy is when someone gets married while they are already married to someone else. This is another cause for an annulment.
Another reasons would be if one spouse younger than the legal age of marriage. Keep in mind, this is only if they don’t have their parent’s consent. Other examples are incest, mental incompetence and never living together. No cohabitation means that the married couple has never lived together.
Most people do not qualify for a marriage annulment. If you are not eligible for this, you still have options. If you do not meet the requirements for an annulment, you will have to file for divorce. Before making this decision, you can speak with a lawyer.
Differences by States
Many states have different rules and laws regarding a marriage annulment. States may vary in what they view as a prohibited marriage. They also have different laws about the time limits with annulments. There are websites that have a different laws around annulments and prohibited marriages by state.
A marriage annulment voids a marriage completely. Thee impact will be different than that of a divorce. This will affect spousal support and the division of assets. After an annulment, you are single and never married. This is unlike divorce, where it leads to someone being single and divorced.
While marriage annulments are rare, some people are able to get one. You should now understand what an annulment is, and what the grounds are for being able to get one. Also, you now know the impact of going through this process.
Being a stepparent can be both rewarding and tricky. As a new stepparent, you are going to want to create a bond with your new stepchildren. Do not be surprised if it takes a new stepchild a while to warm up to you. At the same time, do not let this slow warming-up period think it will never get better. Keep working at it, and things will turn around. It will just take some time and some patience as they adjust to this changing dynamic.
How-to Bond with Stepchildren: Relationship Building
Spend Quality Time Together
As with any relationship, you have to spend time together to form a bond with stepchildren. Plan to do fun, special things with your stepchildren. Start by asking them what types of activities they like to do. By doing something that they already enjoy, they may have a more positive experience. Make sure you are spending good, quality time with them and that you are actually engaging. For example, sitting in the corner, distracted, on the phone will not show the kids that you want to interact with them. If you try to make these fun activities a routine, your stepchildren will start looking forward to spending time with you.
Understand Their Frustrations
Do your best to be patient with your stepchildren and understand their frustrations. For instance, you should listen to them, and hear what they have to say. Just as it took time for you to adjust to a new relationship, it will take the kid’s time as well. Also, keep in mind that you were able to choose your new partner. Remember that they did not have as much say in the situation. They will likely express their frustration at that at some points as you build your bond with stepchildren.
Get Involved in Their Life
Do things that show your stepchildren that you care about them. Go to their game, play, recital, or another event they are involved in. For instance, ask them questions, and make sure to seem genuinely interested. Try and learn about the things that they participate in. Show interest in them and what they care about. Do your best to be supportive of them as well. One tip would be to offer to drive them to their practice or activity. This would show you care about something they are a part of and also will give you some good one-on-one time with them.
Treat Them Like Your Own Kids
If you make your stepchildren feel like they’re just an extra thing you have to carry around, they will start to resent you. Keep in mind that these kids have just gone through some big changes, and likely just had some sad experiences. For example, try introducing them as your kids, instead of step kids, so that they feel included. You definitely do not want them to feel like they are not really part of the family. Additionally, that includes not showing favoritism towards any biological kids you may have. The best way to do this is by treating them as if they were your own kids.
At the same time, do not try to replace their actual parents. Your role is not to replace their mom or dad, but to be a stepparent. Your role is special and does not have to compete with their biological parents. Also, be candid with your stepchildren and tell them that this is all new for you too.
Although it may feel like it is taking a while, do not give up. Just make sure you are showing interest in your stepchildren and their lives, being patient and understanding, and treating them as one of your own. Over time, these steps will help you form a strong bond between yourself and your stepchildren.