Jun 18, 2023 | Alcoholism, Co-parenting
Co-parenting with an addict for an ex can feel frustrating and overwhelming. Especially if you share custody and your child spends time with them without your supervision. Your child’s safety and mental well-being are the most important things though, as is your mental health. Start by educating yourself on addiction, and work on skills like conflict resolution or stress management with your child. Be a safe space for them by maintaining a consistent schedule and always being open to listening to their concerns. Finally, enlist help from a support group, or an experienced attorney if you have safety concerns. Hopefully, your ex will get the help they need so you can have a less dysfunctional relationship and so your child will be happier and healthier.
Co-Parenting with an Addict: Maintaining You and Your Child’s Mental and Physical Health
Why It’s So Difficult
Co-parenting with an addict can be maddening and scary. For most parents, their child’s needs and well-being are their absolute top priority. But for addicts, often their top priority is the substance they’re addicted to. They can be irrational and have poor decision-making skills. They might be difficult to maintain contact with or have emotional outbursts. It can be scary to have to relinquish any kind of control over your child to a person acting this way.
Start with Education
The best thing you can do when co-parenting with an addict is to arm yourself with knowledge. Understanding how addiction works will help you interact more effectively with your ex. It’s also important not to waste too much of your energy trying to change them or heal them. Only they can choose when to get the help they need to get clean. If your child is older, consider talking to them about your ex’s addiction, and helping them understand what it means. Work on skills like conflict resolution, building self-confidence, and dealing with stress with your child.
Be a Safe space for Your Child
You and your household need to be a safe space for your child to come back to when co-parenting with an addict. Children thrive on routine, and often, addiction leads to very dysfunctional lifestyles. When your child is with you, stick to a schedule they can count on. This will give them confidence and security. Make sure they understand that they can always come to you with any concerns and will be believed and not judged.
Enlist Help
Finally, when co-parenting with an addict, don’t try to go it alone. There are support groups and networks that can help you find others in similar situations who might have tips on how to deal with it. Additionally, if you feel that you need to re-evaluate your custody agreement for your child’s well-being, speak to an experienced attorney. If you feel your child is in danger, call the police immediately.
Co-parenting with an addict can be very isolating, and it can make you feel nervous about your child’s well-being. It’s natural to be frustrated and concerned in this situation, but the best thing you can do is to educate yourself on how addiction works. Give your child age-appropriate resources so they can also understand what is happening. Work on skills like communication and boundary-setting with them. Make sure that they know they can come to you with any concerns, and try to make your home a safe space for them. Enlist the help of an attorney to re-visit your custody agreement, or call emergency services if you feel your child is in danger. You can’t make an addict change their behavior, but you can arm your child with the tools and knowledge they need so that they can spend time with their other parent without it damaging their mental health.
May 20, 2023 | Alcoholism, drinking
Summertime often makes you think of boozy drinks by the pool and a cold beer at a BBQ. However, if you’re trying to stay sober at summer BBQs it can be hard to imagine what those days might look like. The first step is to plan in advance how you’d like the day to go. Being mentally prepared to be around alcohol is often an important factor in staying in control. You can plan to bring non-alcoholic drinks with you so that you can still have the feeling of a cold drink in your hands. Talk to your friends in advance if you’re comfortable. And finally, remember that you can always opt-out if you’re feeling uncomfortable. Hopefully, you’ll be able to have fun at summer BBQs without having to compromise your goals of staying sober.
How to Stay Sober at Summer BBQs: Stay in Control
Plan in Advance
The first step towards staying sober at summer BBQs is to make a plan in advance. It can be much harder to stick to your goals of avoiding alcohol if you’re confronted with it unexpectedly. If you know in advance that you’ll be around people who will be drinking, it can be easier to resist the temptation when you’re mentally prepared for it. Decide if you’ll feel comfortable being around alcohol at all. If so, you might want to have a plan to leave if things start getting very out of hand. Or if people are peer-pressuring you to join in the drinking.
Bring Mocktails
Staying sober at summer BBQs can be difficult because often standing around talking to people makes you want to feel a cold beer in your hands. If this is the case, give mocktails a try. You can find non-alcoholic beers and wine. Or try your hand at some fancy summery mixed-drink mocktails. Use fancy glasses and don’t forget the mini umbrellas.
Talk to Your Friends
Another way to stay sober at summer BBQs is to talk to your friends in advance. If you’re comfortable with the people that will be at the BBQ, you might let them know about your desire to quit drinking. You never know how people might react. Your group of friends might be very supportive. In fact, they might choose not to even serve alcohol if they know it makes it hard for them. If they don’t want to leave out the alcohol altogether, chances are they won’t try to pressure you to join in the drinking.
Remember You Can Opt Out
The most important thing to remember when trying to stay sober at summer BBQs is that you can always opt-out. You aren’t obligated to attend every event. If it sounds like things will be getting out of hand, feel free to decide in advance that it won’t be a good fit for you. Also, remember that you can leave anytime you want. If you start to feel uncomfortable or are feeling tempted to drink, just leave the party behind. Your sobriety is much more important than a BBQ.
Staying sober at summer BBQs can be difficult since they often conjure up images in your head of alcoholic drinks. However, it’s possible to stay sober. Make a plan in advance so that you won’t be surprised. Bring along non-alcoholic alternatives to help you with cravings. You can also talk to your friends about your desire to quit drinking beforehand. They might be very supportive. And finally, remember that you can opt-out of the get-together if it’s making you uncomfortable. The most important thing is that you stick to your goals of living a sober life. Hopefully, you’ll be able to enjoy social events like BBQs without compromising your desire to quit drinking.
Mar 18, 2023 | Alcoholism, drinking
Watching out for potential signs of alcoholism in a family member might mean that you catch an addiction early and can get them the support they need to quit. It’s easy to blow off incidents of a friend or family member getting overly intoxicated. However, if it happens regularly, it might be indicative of a problem. If that’s the case, it’s worth digging a little deeper to see if there might be signs of alcoholism. For example, drinking in secret or getting defensive about their drinking. Additionally, they might seem out of control, or you might notice some changes to their personality. If you notice any of these indicators, it’s worth sitting down privately and having a conversation. Hopefully, if there is an addiction issue, you can help them get the help they need to recover.
Potential Signs of Alcoholism in a Family Member: Spotting Early Signals
Drinking in Secret
One of the potential signs of alcoholism in a family member or friend is if you catch them drinking in secret. Or if it seems like their intoxication doesn’t match the drinks you’ve seen them drink. For example, if they go off on their own for a little while and come back acting much drunker. It might be a sign that they are drinking more when nobody is watching. This is common behavior with addicts and can be indicative of alcohol abuse.
They Get Defensive
Another sign of alcoholism in a family member is if they get overly defensive about their drinking. While nobody likes to be put on the spot about their drinking habits, it shouldn’t create a huge amount of anxiety. However, if you notice that your friend or family member gets defensive or lashes out, it might be because they know the drinking is out of hand.
They Seem Out of Control
Everybody has had the experience of watching someone get completely out of control with their drinking. It’s uncomfortable but it does happen. However, if it becomes a regular occurrence, it might be another of the signs of alcoholism in a family member. If they often seem out of control or black out drunk, it’s probably a symptom of a larger problem.
Emotional or Physical Changes
Finally, one of the signs of alcoholism in a family member that you might notice right off the bat is if their personality changes. They might be moodier or grumpy all of the time. There might be signs of interpersonal relationship conflict. Addicts often have a lot of guilt and correspondingly lash out. You might also notice changes in sleeping patterns, changes in appetite, or physical symptoms like weight changes or medical issues.
If you notice signs of alcoholism in a family member, it’s important to acknowledge the problem and not sweep it under the rug. Things like drinking in private, getting defensive, being out of control, or having personality changes are red flags. Privately sit them down and ask if there is any reason to be concerned about their alcohol use. They might be reluctant to open up, but you can always let them know that you are there to support them when they feel ready. Hopefully, they’ll be honest with you and together you can work out a plan for getting them the help they need. You can look into treatment facilities, outpatient programs, or local support group meetings. Having you watching out for them might be the difference between recovery and a lifetime of addiction.
Jul 17, 2022 | Alcoholism, drinking
If you’re in recovery, you might be concerned about how to have a sober summer. While many picture summer as a time for cold beers or fancy cocktails, it’s possible to still have a great time without risking your sobriety. Just make a plan and remember that it’s okay to say no to some events. In addition, try to avoid falling into old habits with old friends or places. Host events yourself so that you can control the amount of alcohol intake. And finally, if you’re comfortable being around others who are drinking, it’s helpful to bring along a mocktail so that you feel like you’re joining in on the fun. Hopefully, by following these tips, you’ll be able to enjoy a great summer season without having to risk your recovery.
Sober Summer: How to Keep Your Recovery on Track Over the Summer Holiday
It’s Okay to Say No
The first tip to enjoying a sober summer is to remember that it’s perfectly fine to decline some invitations. Especially if you know that the party is likely to involve a lot of alcohol. And remember, if you get to an event and things are getting wild, it’s totally fine to leave early. The host will understand if it’s a matter of your own health.
Don’t Fall Into Old Habits
It can also help to avoid old habits when trying to have a sober summer. It’s easy to get caught up in nostalgia if you’re hanging out with old friends or at old stomping grounds from your drinking days. If your friends are not supportive of your recovery journey, you might want to limit the times you hang out with them.
Host Yourself
Hosting events yourself is another great way to have a sober summer. If you’re the host you can dictate how much alcohol is around. You can even specify that an event needs to be alcohol-free. If somebody doesn’t want to come to a sober event, then they’re welcome to decline. But at least this way you can control the wildness of the party.
Bring a Mocktail
Finally, if you’re able to be around others who are drinking, it can be helpful to bring along a mocktail for yourself. This way, you’ll feel like you have a drink in your hand without risking your sobriety. It can also help with preventing friends from offering to get you a drink or asking why you aren’t joining in.
It’s possible and easy to have a sober summer as long as you have some determination and a game plan in place. Remember that it’s okay to say no to some events if you think they’ll be wild. In addition, try to avoid places or people from your past drinking days because they’ll be more likely to tempt you to break your sobriety. Choose to host events yourself so that you can dictate how much or how little alcohol there will be. And finally, bring along a delicious mocktail with you so that you feel like you’re joining in on the fun. Just because it’s summertime doesn’t mean that you have to give up on your recovery journey. You’ve worked hard, and staying sober will keep you healthier in the long run.
Jun 10, 2022 | Alcoholism, Drinking Smart
Dating often involves romantic dinners in fancy restaurants, so avoiding alcohol can be difficult. However, if you are a recovering alcoholic, it’s important to learn how to navigate social situations without breaking your sobriety. And a date can be an even tougher situation with the added nerves. However, if you plan, you can be prepared for when the waiter inevitably asks about your drink order. If you want to avoid the situation altogether you can opt to plan the date yourself at a location that doesn’t involve drinking. You can also make an excuse if you don’t want to share details about your recovery. However, if you are feeling comfortable with your date, you can share your experience with them. A good partner will want to support your recovery.
Avoiding Alcohol on a Date: How to Maintain Your Sobriety in the Dating World
Plan Ahead
The best way of avoiding alcohol on a date is simply to prepare ahead of time. We often make worse decisions when we don’t have time to think things through. So don’t wait until you’re in the restaurant to decide how you want to handle the alcohol situation. Make a plan in your head before your date so that you can stay calm when the topic comes up.
Plan the Date Yourself
Another way of avoiding alcohol altogether on a date is to plan it yourself. You can just opt for an outing that doesn’t typically involve alcohol. For example, you could explore a museum, go for a walk in a nice park, or try an exercise class together. You could also plan a picnic and pack the food yourself – sans alcohol. Get creative and find something fun and unique.
Make an Excuse
If you are avoiding alcohol and find yourself in a situation where the topic comes up, you can just make an excuse. Especially if you aren’t comfortable sharing your recovery journey. There is any number of things you can say, but often the simplest answer is the best. You can say you just don’t feel like drinking tonight, you have a headache, or you need to be up early in the morning.
Be Honest
Finally, if you’re avoiding alcohol on a date, sometimes the best way is, to be honest with your partner. However, you need to make sure that you are ready to share your experience. Hopefully, your date will be supportive and want to help you with your sobriety. It might be a good way to see if they are a good match for you. You certainly want any serious partners to be on board with your sobriety.
Avoiding alcohol in the dating world can be tricky, but it just takes some forethought. Plan so that you are prepared for when the topic comes up. That way, you won’t panic at the moment and say something that you regret. Or make a poor decision with your recovery. Plan the date yourself and opt for an outing that doesn’t invite alcohol. You can also just make an excuse if you don’t want to discuss the topic. Finally, if you are comfortable with your date and ready to open up, you can just be honest with them about your recovery. Hopefully, they’ll want to do everything they can to support you. Just make sure that you stick to your sobriety because that is the most important thing for your health.
Apr 29, 2022 | Alcoholism, drinking
There are plenty of excuses to avoid drinking socially that you can use if you aren’t comfortable sharing your sobriety journey. If you are in recovery but don’t necessarily want to tell people about it, then it’s easiest just to end the conversation quickly. You can use medication or health reasons to avoid alcohol. Or you could say that since you’re driving, you don’t want to indulge. You can also use work as an excuse to avoid alcohol. And finally, try just saying that you aren’t in the mood. Hopefully, you’ll be comfortable sharing your recovery soon, but until then, there are plenty of excuses you can use to avoid the conversation.
Excuses to Avoid Drinking Socially: Getting Out of It Without Awkwardness
Medication
One of the excuses to avoid drinking that you can use is medication. There are plenty of medications that have dangerous interactions with alcohol. The bonus of this excuse is that it doesn’t typically invite a lot of follow-up questions. People tend to not want to pry about medical issues.
Driving
Another excuse to avoid drinking is that you are driving. Driving after drinking is incredibly dangerous and should always be avoided. If you are wanting to avoid alcohol, plan to drive to meet your friends. That way, you’ll have a great reason to not join in on the alcohol.
Work
Work is always one of the most popular excuses to avoid drinking and one of the easiest. Unless your drinking buddies work with you, it’s unlikely they’ll know whether or not you’re swamped at work. So you can use this as an easy go-to to get out of drinking. Just say you either need to get work done when you get home, or that you need to be up early to focus on work.
Don’t Feel Like It
Finally, one of the best excuses to avoid drinking is saying that you simply don’t feel like it. If there are follow-up questions, just say that you aren’t in the mood or that you have a headache. You can also simply say “not tonight” to indicate that you’re still game, but just not at the moment. If you’re meeting somebody new you can just say that you don’t enjoy alcohol.
It’s important to have some excuses to avoid drinking if you’re in recovery. If you aren’t yet ready to share with the rest of the world, then you’ll need to have some reasons ready to go. Try using antibiotics as an excuse, or saying that you’re not feeling up to it for some reason. You can also say that you need to be sober in order to drive home. Work is always an easy go-to excuse to get out of all kinds of things, drinking included. And finally, you can simply say that you aren’t in the mood or don’t feel like it. Hopefully, you’ll be able to share your experience with recovery someday. But until then, it’s a good idea to have some excuses to avoid drinking ready to go just in case.
