Sep 1, 2024 | Divorce, Emotional impact of divorce
Staying in touch with in-laws after divorce is a personal decision and one that depends a lot on your relationship. Some couples choose to break all contact between their families. And others decide to continue a relationship with their ex-in-laws. It’s ultimately your decision, but one benefit is simply keeping people you care about in your life. Similarly, if you share children with your ex, it can be good for them to stay in touch with their grandparents. If you choose to stay in contact, it’s a good idea to lay out some ground rules and practice etiquette so you don’t strain the relationship. Divorce is difficult for everybody, in-laws included, so it can take some time before you’re ready to decide how much you’ll stay in touch.
Staying in Touch with In-laws After Divorce: Should You?
Personal Decision
Ultimately, staying in touch with in-laws after divorce is an extremely personal decision. If you have been married for many years, your ex’s parents are likely a big part of your life. However, they may or may not take sides in the divorce. Additionally, your ex might have strong feelings about your future relationship with them. All of these factors are important for deciding whether or not staying in touch is the right decision for you.
Positive Benefit: Close Relationship
One possible benefit of staying in touch with in-laws after divorce is if you have a close personal relationship. As long as it doesn’t cause too much drama with your ex, keeping in touch with them can be a great way to extend your relationship. Just because you no longer are related to them doesn’t mean that you can’t stay in one another’s lives if it benefits you both.
Positive Benefit: Grandchildren
Another positive benefit of staying in touch with in-laws after divorce is that it’s great for your children to interact with their grandparents. If you and your ex share children, likely your in-laws will want to stay an essential part of their lives. Plus, spending time with grandparents gives you a chance to get a break now and then.
Ground Rules
If you do decide to stay in touch with your ex-in-laws after divorce, it’s important to lay out some ground rules. Make sure that you discuss boundaries with them up front, and how much interaction you feel is appropriate. Additionally, make sure that you avoid the topic of your ex with them. If they try to pry into your divorce, gently remind them that you don’t want to discuss details. And of course, keep your current love life private unless prompted.
Keeping in touch with in-laws after divorce can be beneficial to everybody involved. You, your in-laws, and even your children. However, it’s important to make sure that the relationship doesn’t harm your mental health. The decision is a personal one and depends a lot on what type of relationship you had with them before the divorce. And whether or not you and your ex share children. In the end, you have to decide what the right level of interaction is with them moving forward. Hopefully, you and they can find a solution that works for you all.
Mar 12, 2023 | Divorce, Emotional impact of divorce
Invisible grief often takes the form of mourning the potential we lost or grieving after a life that we planned for ourselves that now will never happen. And while it’s not as visible as grief over the death of a loved one, it can still be very painful. Many people go through a period of mourning after infidelity because they are grieving the loss of trust in their marriage. When couples choose to divorce, they often mourn over losing the future they envisioned for themselves. You can also grieve changes in circumstances like a move to a new city, or struggling to conceive. And finally, you might experience a grieving period if you suffer a financial loss as well. Finding a healthy outlet like journaling or speaking to a therapist can often help you tackle this grief and move forward to a healthier frame of mind.
Dealing with Invisible Grief: Mourning the Loss of the Life You Imagined
Grief Over Infidelity
If you are the victim of infidelity, you might feel invisible grief over the loss of trust in your marriage. Whether or not you stay together, there will probably be a difference in your relationship from now on. Infidelity can change the dynamic of your marriage, so speaking with a marriage counselor can be very beneficial. If you choose to stay with your spouse after an affair, give yourself plenty of time to process your feelings.
Grief Over Divorce
While it seems obvious that divorce is an incredibly sad event, the invisible grief from divorce often comes from the lost future. When you marry a person, you envision what your future will look like together. Maybe you pictured retirement or grandchildren. A divorce changes that forever, and it’s okay to be sad about that. Not only are you losing relationships with your spouse and in-laws, but you’re losing a version of the future that you wanted. Make sure that you take time to process fully before dating again.
Grief Over Change in Circumstance
Invisible grief can also hit if you experience a change in circumstances. A big life change can stir up a lot of emotions. For example, if you have to relocate, you might grieve the loss of friends and neighbors. If you are having trouble conceiving a child, you might grieve the future you envisioned as a parent. There are a million changes that can happen that can upset the vision you had of your future, and grieving these is perfectly normal and healthy.
Grief Over Financial Downfall
Finally, if you and your spouse experience a financial setback, it can create invisible grief. Not only are you losing money, but it can also add a lot of new stress to your marriage. Financial change can also affect the future you can have. If you and your partner experience a financial downfall, the best way to handle it is to tackle it together. Don’t play the blame game, but instead, work together to build a budget and slowly begin saving.
Invisible grief can play a significant role in any relationship. Mourning the loss of a future that you planned for yourself is perfectly normal. And there are a lot of factors that can affect those plans. If you experience things like infidelity or divorce, it can vastly change your relationship and your future. Similarly, going through a change in circumstances or a financial setback can also upset your way of life and create a lot of unwanted stress. It’s normal to mourn when things don’t work out the way you wanted. It’s important to find healthy ways to tackle that grief, though. Reach out to a therapist or a close friend to help you process those emotions. Or practice some self-care by journaling or taking time for yourself. But most of all, be patient and give yourself the space and time to experience and process your grief.
Feb 18, 2022 | Divorce, Emotional impact of divorce
It can be difficult to deal with a child’s behavioral changes after divorce. Children react in many different ways to sudden changes in their lives. Some will act out, others get quiet, and some regress with behaviors. It’s not uncommon to see any of these changes in your children if you are going through a divorce. However, it’s important to support them through the life change. Give it time, because often things like this resolve themselves quickly. It can help to talk to your children about how they’re feeling. Be reassuring to them each time you talk that they will adjust quickly to their new life. And finally, seek the help of a therapist if you feel like your child is needing some extra support. It can be hard to see your children going through these things, but kids are resilient. It might take an adjustment period, but they will settle into a new routine soon enough.
Dealing with Child’s Behavioral Changes After Divorce: Each Child is Different
Give it Time
Your child’s behavioral changes after divorce might be making things difficult at home. Regressions are a common reaction to big life changes. So you might be seeing regressions with sleep or using the bathroom. This is completely normal and often resolves itself quickly. Be patient with your child and give them support to re-learn the task.
Talk it Out
You can also try talking it out to help your child’s behavioral changes after divorce. Your child may want to open up and talk about their feelings. Some kids do well with explaining big feelings, while others might be shyer. Make sure that they know they can come to you with any questions without you being angry. Even if the things they say are painful to hear, don’t react defensively. Understand that this is a big change for them just as much as it is for you.
Be Reassuring
It’s always helpful to be a calming voice of reassurance when dealing with your child’s behavioral changes after divorce. Often behavioral problems stem from a deep-seated feeling of guilt and blame. Children often internalize a divorce and begin to think that they are the cause. Make sure that they know that they did not have anything to do with the divorce. It’s always helpful to reassure them about how much you love them. And of course, reassure them that they will adjust to this new lifestyle in their own time.
Speak to a Therapist
Finally, if you are searching for some professional help with your child’s behavioral problems after divorce, reach out to a therapist. There are many pediatric therapists and counselors available who can give you some guidance. They might do play therapy, talk therapy, or a combination of many things. They will help your child learn how to express their feelings and cope with big feelings.
Children feel your stress and anxiety. So when you go through a divorce, no matter how much you keep from them, they’ll pick up on your mood. Divorce is hard on everybody. And their entire life may be changing in big ways with new living arrangements and not getting to see both parents all the time. If you are having trouble with your child’s behavioral changes after divorce, get support from other parents who have been in your situation. They might suggest that you give it some more time to let the issues resolve on their own. Or you might try talking to your children in a very reassuring way about how they’re feeling. And finally, if you need some professional support, reach out to a childhood therapist. There are many ways to help your child handle the big feelings of divorce. Just remember that they are resilient, they will adjust, and you are probably doing the best thing for them in the end.
