A bad habit can always be difficult to break However, breaking bad habits can often have a wonderful impact on your life, and your relationships. Take, for example, alcoholism and an intimate relationship. In many cases, serious alcohol abuse can cause relationship damage. Therefore, if you’re finding yourself in this situation, you’re likely looking for ways to save your relationship, your health, and manage your drinking. So, we’re going to focus in on just that…
Alcoholism and Relationship Damage: Managing your Habit
Acknowledging the issue
The first step you can take towards repairing relationship damage due to alcohol, is to acknowledge a problem, and where it starts. If you, and/or your partner, has acknowledged that alcohol is causing an issue in your relationship— it might be time to make a change. Ultimately, you have to decide what alcohol is worth to you. In other words, is your relationship more important to you than having a few drinks on the weekend? If it is, then maybe you should consider doing one of the following things…
Go alcohol-free for a period
Alcohol is bringing harm to the things you hold near and dear. Therefore, going without it for a while might help you prioritize. Not to mention, taking time away from alcohol can help you lose weight, save money, avoid nasty hangovers, and avoid relationship damage. If quitting cold turkey seems daunting to you, cut back bit by bit. Maybe start by going on a date with your significant other, and skipping that glass of wine. Or, do yoga at the end of a day to reduce stress instead of reaching for a cold one. By making this step, you’re showing your partner that you’re serious about making a change.
Have a conversation
No one starts drinking really heavily for no reason at all. Whether you’re stressed, anxious, depressed, angry, or so forth— there’s some reason that you aren’t stopping. So, take some time to talk it out. The person you’re with is supposed to be there for you, and to listen when you need a shoulder to lean on, use that. It’s never a good time to talk about things when you’re under the influence. Typically, when drunk, it’s hard to say what you mean, and it’s easy for tempers to flare. So, using this period of time to talk with one another about your needs and wants might be extremely therapeutic.
Find a new hobby, maybe even together
Drinking is a vice, so replace it. Everyone has a method for relieving stress, and yours just so happens to be drinking. Now that you want to replace alcohol, consider finding a hobby for the two of you together. By doing something together, you have something to talk about, bond over, and improve on together. When you’re in a rut, taking action on something together can make a big difference in how you feel. Not to mention, it can help to rebuild a bit of your relationship that was lost…
Divorce court can be tricky, especially if you’re lacking proper representation. Before you get in front of a judge, you’ll want to familiarize yourself with the options you’ll consider. A few of those familiar divorce terms, are no-fault and at-fault divorce. You’ve likely heard these terms before, but might not know exactly how they are determined. So, we’re here to help make this whole divorce business a little less confusing…
No-Fault & At-Fault Divorce: Deciphering Familiar Divorce Terms
An at-fault divorce is when the filing party claims that the other party caused the divorce. The grounds for an at-fault divorce in SC include the following:
- Physical Cruelty
- Desertion for more than one year
- Habitual Drunkenness or drug use
The spouse claiming fault must be able to prove the grounds he or she alleges…
If one party proves adultery ended the marriage, the side that committed adultery will likely not receive alimony. The desertion for more than a year grounds does not apply to incarcerated spouses or military spouses. If a party proves any of the other grounds listed above, the judge may also make decisions regarding alimony and child custody. However, courts decide custody issues based on the child’s best interests. Thus, if one party proves grounds such as physical cruelty or habitual drug use, these grounds are more likely to affect custody issues. Adultery grounds may affect custody if the spouse exposed the children to the affair. However, many times, adultery will have little effect on custody arrangements.
On the other hand, no-fault divorces don’t claim the grounds listed above. Instead, no-fault divorces consider the fact that the couple has been separated for more than one year. This means the spouses must go a full year without living together or spending just one night together. A no-fault divorce won’t affect factors such as alimony and custody. In this case, the parties make separate arguments and present evidence for these issues.
You have options…
Depending on the circumstances surrounding your case, you have plenty of options. The key, is finding someone to help you figure out what option is the best for you. That starts with seeking the right representation. By finding that person, you’ll be able to lay out the facts of your case, and decide what route best fits your situation. We wish you luck in this difficult time, and offer our services if you might need them.
When it comes to co-parenting, scheduling is one of the keys to success. But, that’s not to say it comes easy. Co-parenting successfully is extremely difficult, especially depending on the details of your divorce. But, by creating an organized co-parenting calendar, you can make your lives that much easier. Co-parenting with your ex may feel difficult right now, and it may always seem that way, but putting it all in writing? Makes the plan much easier to deal with.
Organized Co-Parenting Calendar: How to Make it and Move on
Think of all those events you want your child there for; Grandma’s birthday, your favorite sport’s game of the year, a school play… Whatever it may be. Think of all these things before you and the other co-parent meet, and put it in writing. Ask the other parent to do the same. You want to essentially have made your part of the schedule before you two ever come together. This should include any engagements you have, as well as the child, such as science fairs, sports games, business trips, travel, or the like. Then, when you come together, you can compare and build a cohesive schedule to both go off of.
Another key to an organized co-parenting calendar is to be careful not to overbook. Often times, after going through a divorce, we want to make up for the fact that we are spending less time with our kid. So it’s not uncommon to overcompensate by agreeing to do anything and everything. But overbooking can leave you tired, stretched to the max, and ultimately unreliable. When you overbook yourself, you will at some point have to cancel or miss something. But the last thing you want to do is create a pattern of not fulfilling your parenting responsibilities. So, it’s best to only agree to what you know you will be able to do.
Set a Reminder
No matter how many times you talk about it, or write it in colored ink on the calendar, it’s hard to juggle your schedule. During your marriage, you and your spouse probably maintained a system for the schedule. You knew who was picking who up at what time. And if not, you probably talked throughout the day so that someone always remembered. But since your divorce, these things can be harder to keep up with. Therefore, set a reminder on your phone for those visits or events you planned with your kid. We’d all like to think we’ll remember easily. However, sometimes it’s just plain difficult. So, make a plan, set reminders, and stick to it. As we’ve said, you don’t want to create a pattern of not fulfilling your duties as a parent.
Keep multiple copies and allow for it flex a bit
We can’t account for every little bump in the road. So, take your agreement seriously, print and sign a copy for the each of you, but understand that things will happen. On your end, as well as theirs, there’s always the potential of something that might alter your agreement. Maybe one of you ends up with an illness, wrecks your car, gets a big promotion, or something of the like. Allow for your agreement to move just a bit if that time comes. But, understand that these occurrences should be discussed between both of you.
The key to an organized co-parenting calendar, is collaboration. Co-parenting, as well as planning, is difficult to do. But when you commit, take the time, and prioritize your child, it’s amazing what you can accomplish together.