When you’re going through a divorce, one of the biggest decisions you’ll find yourself making— is what becomes of the family home? You’ve spent the better part of your marriage, and your adult life, making this house a home, and a safe haven for your family. But, now that your family is going to be looking a little bit different— what is the right choice for this, no longer communal, space? Do you keep it? Does your spouse? Or, do you sell the home and go your separate ways? Every family will make this choice, and do so in a different way…
Family Home: Where Do We Go From Here?
This decision is emotional for all parties involved. After all, you bought the family home, or built it, with a vision of building a family there. Little feet on the hardwood, grandchildren, and growing old. But, now, you’re left to decide where you go from here. Maybe you want the house right now, or your spouse does. Or, maybe neither of you want to take it on by yourself…
Taking on the debts of a home by yourself…
While, in the moment, you might decide that you want this house. After all, you put a lot of love, blood, sweat, and tears into making the family home what it is today. You don’t just want to pass off all that work to the highest bidder. But, before you make the decision, and buy your spouse out, you have to make a few decisions.
Chiefly, you have to decide if you can afford the debts of a home by yourself. Utilities, upkeep, accidentals… There is a lot of financial hardship that goes into owning a home, especially a home built for an entire family.
Do you want to give up other assets, or a nest egg, in exchange for this house?
You might want the family home. If so, you might have to either buy your spouse out of their portion, or give some other large asset over in exchange. Therefore, you have to decide if this specific house is worth giving up something else potentially beneficial. Ultimately, you have to decide what it’s worth to you.
A family home has a lot of memories…
While you might love your home, and the memories you’ve made here— not all of them are good. Furthermore, not all of those memories are going to be fond. You must consider if you really want to spend the years following a divorce in a family home that represents your marriage. Do you want to sleep in the same room, maybe even the same bed, that you spent the best and worst days of your marriage in?
Making the decision to sell the family home can be a difficult one. But, it can make for a cleaner break and a fresh start for the both of you. Consider taking the money you make from it, and buy something better suited to your new lifestyle. We wish you luck in this difficult time, offer our condolences for your divorce, and extend our services if you find that you may need them.
After you’ve decided to get a divorce, the next hardest step might be trying to figure out how to tell people about your divorce. While your divorce is technically your business, eventually people will start to catch on and be curious. So, you might want to get a jump on things and let your loved ones know what’s coming down the pipe. Divorce announcements are an option that many divorcees might explore, especially the more lighthearted ones. But, how do you approach it? And what do you say to the people around you to show that you’re okay?
Divorce Announcements: Spreading the Word
Know What You Want to Say
The first and most apparent thing to think about when making divorce announcements is what to say. This will help avoid the pressure and stress that can come with creating one on-the-spot. Keeping it simple might seem like a suitable option, but it helps to not have it be too simple. Only saying “so-and-so and I are getting a divorce” leaves a lot of room for questions that you might not want to answer, especially to strangers. However, including something like “I appreciate the support but don’t wish to talk about it further right now”can help prevent this. Now, people will know what is going on and that you don’t want to talk about it, letting you open up when you feel comfortable to do so.
How To Tell People
Knowing what to say is one part of divorce announcements. Howyou tell people is another part to consider. In today’s age, you have more ways to share the news than ever before. For example, social media allows for you to spread the message to your followers (most of who will be your friends and family) with just one post. This is especially helpful if you worry about how many people you’ll have to tell. However, face-to-face is usually the preferred method. It’s the hardest, but it’s much more “personal” than a mass message, especially for close friends and family.
Who Should You Tell ?
Finally, the last thing to consider for divorce announcements is who to tell. If you’ve just started your divorce, you might want to only tell those very close to you. This is totally normal! Dealing with other people’s opinions along with your divorce can be too much to handle. As your divorce goes on, you can start to tell more people if you begin to feel more comfortable. However, if you are a more private person, there’s nothing wrong with only telling your closest friends and family.
In the end, you get to choose how you talk about your divorce. You get to control what you say, how you say it, and who you tell it too when it comes to your divorce. Using the strategies outlined here can help make that tough process all the more doable.
For some, school is their entire lives. For many others, however, going to school was never a thought. Or if it was, they put in their time and got out. But what about going to school post-divorce? Is this new chapter of your life sparking an interest in a certain field? Perhaps your new single lifestyle should be accompanying a new career. If this is the case for you, consider these tips when going back to school.
School Post-Divorce: Making Positive Changes
Get Up to Date
If you’ve been out of school for a while, your chunky laptop might not make the cut any more. Going to school post-divorce might require you to treat yourself to some new technology! New developments in tech mean more accessible textbooks and classroom resources. Tablets, laptops, and convertible laptops are great tools to set your new class off just right.
Know Your Comfort Zone
Going to school may be out of your comfort zone. It’s refreshing to push yourself and your boundaries. It’s important to remember, however, that your life is much different than the last time you were in school. For your first semester back to school post-divorce, make sure you don’t overload it.
Focus on Finances
Keep in mind that school post-divorce costs just as much as it did pre-divorce. While financial aid, grants, and scholarships are available, they rarely cover every expense you have. Keep these financial responsibilities in mind when deciding to go back to school.
If you’re returning to school post-divorce, there’s a good chance you will be slightly older than your fresh-faced peers. Don’t worry! Know that you deserve your spot in the class just as much as everyone else. You can connect with new people and groups on campus, which might be a good idea for those in need of new hobbies.
You deserve the benefit of going to school post-divorce. If you are trying to decide if this is right for you, you might start with class you have a genuine interest in. Classes like these could include the arts or music. Do whatever you feel will serve yourself best.
Divorce leads to changes in how your day-to-day life operates. One of the areas that can include is employment. You might’ve been a stay-at-home parent during your marriage, but you’re finding that your new financial situation means you need a better source of income. No matter the motive, it can be stressful to think about job hunting. To help make this process easier, we have put together a few things to consider before looking for post-divorce employment…
Post-Divorce Employment: Considerations Before Looking
Figure Out What You Want To Do
The first thing to consider when thinking about post-divorce employment is what kind of job you’d like to pursue. Are you looking for something similar to what you used to have, or something entirely new? Do you need to work full-time, or would part-time make ends meet? Make sure to consider things related to your divorce as well. For instance, you might want flexible hours so you can spend more time with your children. You might also want to consider if a job has benefits, such as healthcare, if you find yourself without after the divorce. Ultimately, this is your livelihood, so it’s important to take time to really consider what you’re looking for rather than rushing right back in.
Start To Search
Once you decide on your post-divorce employment path, the next step is to begin searching. Luckily, there’s plenty of online job boardsthese days to use to look. To maximize your chances of finding a quality position, it helps to cast a wide net across several sites. Additionally, make sure your resume is up-to-date. Take time and customize it to fit your wants in a new career. If you’re applying in a field you’re familiar with, make sure to highlight your hands-on experience and skills. For new industries you might be exploring, use your enthusiasm for the job and show how experience you have from other fields translates into the one you’re interested in.
Prepare For Interviews
Once you begin looking for post-divorce employment, you will want to prepare yourself for potential interviews. Planning ahead of time can help reduce the anxiety and stress that comes with an interview. Instead, you’ll be able to focus on making your great first impression to your potential new boss. Think about which skills and experience you want to emphasize, and let your personality shine through instead of being shrouded in anxiety. Furthermore, be upfront about your employment gap. Whether you were a stay-at-home parent, or took some time off during the divorce— it helps to give your potential employer some context. Sharing a few details can feel a bit awkward, but, not only will most interviewers be understanding, they’ll also appreciate the honesty.
Looking for post-divorce employment can be difficult. However, the end result of finding that right job for you makes it worth it. Having patience and using some of the tips here can help make sure you get that new dream job.
A bad habit can always be difficult to break However, breaking bad habits can often have a wonderful impact on your life, and your relationships. Take, for example, alcoholism and an intimate relationship. In many cases, serious alcohol abuse can cause relationship damage. Therefore, if you’re finding yourself in this situation, you’re likely looking for ways to save your relationship, your health, and manage your drinking. So, we’re going to focus in on just that…
Alcoholism and Relationship Damage: Managing your Habit
Acknowledging the issue
The first step you can take towards repairing relationship damage due to alcohol, is to acknowledge a problem, and where it starts. If you, and/or your partner, has acknowledged that alcohol is causing an issue in your relationship— it might be time to make a change. Ultimately, you have to decide what alcohol is worth to you. In other words, is your relationship more important to you than having a few drinks on the weekend? If it is, then maybe you should consider doing one of the following things…
Go alcohol-free for a period
Alcohol is bringing harm to the things you hold near and dear. Therefore, going without it for a while might help you prioritize. Not to mention, taking time away from alcohol can help you lose weight, save money, avoid nasty hangovers, and avoid relationship damage. If quitting cold turkey seems daunting to you, cut back bit by bit. Maybe start by going on a date with your significant other, and skipping that glass of wine. Or, do yoga at the end of a day to reduce stress instead of reaching for a cold one. By making this step, you’re showing your partner that you’re serious about making a change.
Have a conversation
No one starts drinking really heavily for no reason at all. Whether you’re stressed, anxious, depressed, angry, or so forth— there’s some reason that you aren’t stopping. So, take some time to talk it out. The person you’re with is supposed to be there for you, and to listen when you need a shoulder to lean on, use that. It’s never a good time to talk about things when you’re under the influence. Typically, when drunk, it’s hard to say what you mean, and it’s easy for tempers to flare. So, using this period of time to talk with one another about your needs and wants might be extremely therapeutic.
Find a new hobby, maybe even together
Drinking is a vice, so replace it. Everyone has a method for relieving stress, and yours just so happens to be drinking. Now that you want to replace alcohol, consider finding a hobby for the two of you together. By doing something together, you have something to talk about, bond over, and improve on together. When you’re in a rut, taking action on something together can make a big difference in how you feel. Not to mention, it can help to rebuild a bit of your relationship that was lost…
Divorce court can be tricky, especially if you’re lacking proper representation. Before you get in front of a judge, you’ll want to familiarize yourself with the options you’ll consider. A few of those familiar divorce terms, are no-fault and at-fault divorce. You’ve likely heard these terms before, but might not know exactly how they are determined. So, we’re here to help make this whole divorce business a little less confusing…
No-Fault & At-Fault Divorce: Deciphering Familiar Divorce Terms
An at-fault divorce is when the filing party claims that the other party caused the divorce. The grounds for an at-fault divorce in SC include the following:
- Physical Cruelty
- Desertion for more than one year
- Habitual Drunkenness or drug use
The spouse claiming fault must be able to prove the grounds he or she alleges…
If one party proves adultery ended the marriage, the side that committed adultery will likely not receive alimony. The desertion for more than a year grounds does not apply to incarcerated spouses or military spouses. If a party proves any of the other grounds listed above, the judge may also make decisions regarding alimony and child custody. However, courts decide custody issues based on the child’s best interests. Thus, if one party proves grounds such as physical cruelty or habitual drug use, these grounds are more likely to affect custody issues. Adultery grounds may affect custody if the spouse exposed the children to the affair. However, many times, adultery will have little effect on custody arrangements.
On the other hand, no-fault divorces don’t claim the grounds listed above. Instead, no-fault divorces consider the fact that the couple has been separated for more than one year. This means the spouses must go a full year without living together or spending just one night together. A no-fault divorce won’t affect factors such as alimony and custody. In this case, the parties make separate arguments and present evidence for these issues.
You have options…
Depending on the circumstances surrounding your case, you have plenty of options. The key, is finding someone to help you figure out what option is the best for you. That starts with seeking the right representation. By finding that person, you’ll be able to lay out the facts of your case, and decide what route best fits your situation. We wish you luck in this difficult time, and offer our services if you might need them.