There are many co-parenting hurdles that you might be facing if you are recently divorced. Everybody going through a divorce likes to think that they’ll be able to peacefully co-parent after it’s finalized. However, the reality is that divorce can complicate things. It can build up a lot of tension between exes which can make co-parenting more difficult to navigate. Plus, the reality of sharing custody can be a little more difficult than you might expect. Missing holidays with your children can be hard, and long-term planning your schedules is an adjustment too. Mutual events might be awkward at first, and letting go of old wounds can be a process. Luckily, all of these hurdles tend to get much easier to face over time and as you get more used to co-parenting. Hopefully, before long, you’ll be able to get along well enough to make mutually parenting your children productive and healthy.
Common Co-Parenting Hurdles You Might Face After Divorce
Missing Holidays
One of the first co-parenting hurdles that you might face is dealing with missing your children over the holidays. Unfortunately, this is just the reality of sharing custody. There will be some holidays that you miss each year, but then you’ll likely swap the next year. To overcome this hurdle, you can celebrate on your own with your children when you do have time with them. Even if it means moving holidays around a little bit. Your children probably won’t mind at all!
Figuring Out Schedule
Another co-parenting hurdle that can be quite difficult to manage is figuring out your custody schedule. Not only will you have to coordinate your and your ex’s schedules, but also your children’s school and extracurricular. The key to overcoming this difficulty is long-term planning. Try to give as much notice as possible to your ex if you need a certain time with the children. And try to be flexible with one another when you need to make changes.
Mutual Events
Mutual social events can be awkward and painful at first. However, as time goes on, hopefully, they will get easier. And the more you can be around one another, the more you can both be in your children’s lives. To navigate your first mutual event, don’t hide or avoid one another. And don’t rehash old divorce drama. Instead, say hello, and then keep things short. Move on and enjoy your time, and don’t overindulge in alcohol. By keeping it casual and non-personal, you can avoid turning the event into a drama fest where all eyes are on you.
Letting Go of Old Hurts
Letting go of old hurts can be one of the hardest co-parenting hurdles to overcome. Divorce is painful, and it dredges up a lot of resentment and anger. However, hopefully, as time goes by, you’ll be able to let go of some of that anger. While you might think that your ex treated you unfairly, or that things in the divorce didn’t go your way, the fact is that it’s over now. Holding onto resentment will just make it more difficult to co-parent. Try to set aside any petty differences, and instead put your children’s needs first.
Learning to navigate the various co-parenting hurdles that almost all exes face after divorce can take time. However, patience is the key to overcoming almost every one of them. As time goes by, you’ll get better at splitting up your holidays with your ex, and better at long-term planning your custody schedules. You’ll also get more practice at navigating social events together. And hopefully, you’ll be able to let go of