Invisible grief often takes the form of mourning the potential we lost or grieving after a life that we planned for ourselves that now will never happen. And while it’s not as visible as grief over the death of a loved one, it can still be very painful. Many people go through a period of mourning after infidelity because they are grieving the loss of trust in their marriage. When couples choose to divorce, they often mourn over losing the future they envisioned for themselves. You can also grieve changes in circumstances like a move to a new city, or struggling to conceive. And finally, you might experience a grieving period if you suffer a financial loss as well. Finding a healthy outlet like journaling or speaking to a therapist can often help you tackle this grief and move forward to a healthier frame of mind.
Dealing with Invisible Grief: Mourning the Loss of the Life You Imagined
Grief Over Infidelity
If you are the victim of infidelity, you might feel invisible grief over the loss of trust in your marriage. Whether or not you stay together, there will probably be a difference in your relationship from now on. Infidelity can change the dynamic of your marriage, so speaking with a marriage counselor can be very beneficial. If you choose to stay with your spouse after an affair, give yourself plenty of time to process your feelings.
Grief Over Divorce
While it seems obvious that divorce is an incredibly sad event, the invisible grief from divorce often comes from the lost future. When you marry a person, you envision what your future will look like together. Maybe you pictured retirement or grandchildren. A divorce changes that forever, and it’s okay to be sad about that. Not only are you losing relationships with your spouse and in-laws, but you’re losing a version of the future that you wanted. Make sure that you take time to process fully before dating again.
Grief Over Change in Circumstance
Invisible grief can also hit if you experience a change in circumstances. A big life change can stir up a lot of emotions. For example, if you have to relocate, you might grieve the loss of friends and neighbors. If you are having trouble conceiving a child, you might grieve the future you envisioned as a parent. There are a million changes that can happen that can upset the vision you had of your future, and grieving these is perfectly normal and healthy.
Grief Over Financial Downfall
Finally, if you and your spouse experience a financial setback, it can create invisible grief. Not only are you losing money, but it can also add a lot of new stress to your marriage. Financial change can also affect the future you can have. If you and your partner experience a financial downfall, the best way to handle it is to tackle it together. Don’t play the blame game, but instead, work together to build a budget and slowly begin saving.
Invisible grief can play a significant role in any relationship. Mourning the loss of a future that you planned for yourself is perfectly normal. And there are a lot of factors that can affect those plans. If you experience things like infidelity or divorce, it can vastly change your relationship and your future. Similarly, going through a change in circumstances or a financial setback can also upset your way of life and create a lot of unwanted stress. It’s normal to mourn when things don’t work out the way you wanted. It’s important to find healthy ways to tackle that grief, though. Reach out to a therapist or a close friend to help you process those emotions. Or practice some self-care by journaling or taking time for yourself. But most of all, be patient and give yourself the space and time to experience and process your grief.