Nov 27, 2022 | Marriage
If you and your spouse have decided on separation, it’s important to use that time to examine what your goals are for the relationship. Some states require separation before divorce, and some are more formal than others. However, many couples choose to take some time apart before deciding on getting a divorce. Both of you need to focus on making this time productive so that you can decide your future together. Practice open communication through counseling. In addition, take time to explore your feelings outside of the marriage. And finally, keep kids out of the drama. Hopefully, you and your partner can use this time effectively to help determine what you should do in the future.
How to Have a Healthy Separation: Making the Most of It
Why Separate?
While some states require a separation period before a divorce, many couples choose to do it regardless. Getting some space is a great way to examine your relationship from a little bit of distance. When you’re right in the thick of arguments, it’s hard to see the bigger picture of your relationship. Separation can be the first step towards divorce unless a couple decides to use this time to heal from old hurts and move forward with honest communication.
Open Communication
Communication is the foundation of a strong marriage, but it’s hard for many couples to accomplish this. Your separation time is a great time to focus on becoming better communicators. One way to improve this is to speak to a marriage counselor. Therapy can go a long way in helping a couple reconcile old arguments and heal long-standing wounds.
Explore Your Feelings
It’s helpful to take this separation time as a chance to explore your feelings. Get to know yourself outside of the marriage, and outside of the influence of your partner. This is a time for you to focus on yourself, so try to avoid any sort of affairs or rebound relationships. Instead, focus on what you’d like your future to look like, and how you can achieve that with your spouse.
Keep Kids Out of It
Finally, one last thing to remember during a separation is to keep your children out of it. They’ll need to know the basics that they might be moving back and forth between two homes. However, don’t get into the details with them. In addition, never trash-talk your spouse in front of them. Children love both of their parents equally, and hearing you speak negatively about a person they love can be stressful and scary for them. Always treat your spouse with respect and kindness, especially in front of your kids.
Separation can be a difficult thing to decide on. And for some couples, it’s a stepping stone to divorce. However, many couples determine to use this time fruitfully and wind up stronger than ever. Give yourself some space from the relationship so you can examine your marriage and what you’d like the future to look like. Be in constant contact with one another, and improve your communication through marriage counseling during this time. Try to focus on yourself and decide what you want to get out of this time. And finally, keep your children out of it as much as possible. Whatever decision you come to, hopefully, you and your spouse will be on the same page after your period of separation.
Nov 20, 2022 | Marriage
Hiding assets before divorce is one way that soon-to-be-exes might try to take advantage of the situation so that they wind up with more money. By hiding the amount of money you have, there is less to split with your ex. If you are concerned that your partner might be hiding money, it’s important to reach out to an attorney to figure out the best way to protect yourself financially. You might notice that funds are missing from accounts, or that accounts seem to be dwindling quickly. Or you might find some tax discrepancies. Unusual purchases or withheld income can also be signs that your ex is monkeying around with your finances. Hopefully, if you notice any of these warning signs, you’ll be able to take action to protect yourself.
Warning Signs that Spouse is Hiding Assets Before Divorce
Missing Funds
This one might seem obvious, but if you notice that your accounts seem unusually low or are dwindling quickly, it might be a red flag that your spouse is hiding assets. They might be transferring funds to an account that you don’t have access to. Or, they might be loaning money out to friends or family. These people will then pay it back after the divorce. By hiding some of the money in your accounts, there will be less to divvy up between the two of you.
Tax Discrepancies
Another warning sign that your spouse could be hiding assets is if they are meddling around with your taxes. They might overpay for income taxes and ask the IRS to use the money for future years. This way, the IRS will have money they can apply to their taxes after you no longer file jointly. If they are an independent contractor or business owner, they can also overestimate business expenses. These are tax-deductible and will decrease their net profit. This means less money to divvy up while they pocket more. This is a form of tax fraud.
Unusual Purchases
If you notice your spouse purchasing unusual amounts of things like antiques, art, or jewelry, it could mean they are hiding assets. These are items that hold their value well. Your spouse might downplay their worth so that they aren’t included on your assets list. Or significantly undervalue them. They can sell them after the divorce is final.
Withheld Income
Finally, if your spouse seems to be delaying payments on large contracts or commissions, it can also be a warning sign that they’re hiding assets. They might be asking their company to hold off on paying a bonus or commission until after the divorce is final. Then, they can pocket all of the money without having to split it.
Hiding assets is a dirty move, but unfortunately, in contentious divorces, it can happen. To prevent this from happening, it’s best to reach out to an attorney. Do this as soon as you think divorce might even be a possibility. They can help you protect yourself financially and look for warning signs that your spouse hiding assets. Be on the watch for money leaving your accounts or inconsistencies with your taxes. In addition, if your spouse is making odd purchases or doesn’t seem to be getting paid for large commissions, it can be a warning sign. It’s important to always have a general knowledge of your overall financial health as a couple so that your partner cannot hide assets from you.
Nov 13, 2022 | Marriage
If you are in an unhappy marriage, it can feel overwhelming. But sometimes, those signs that things are beginning to go sour can creep up on you unexpectedly. There can be many issues in a relationship, but there are some things that many unhappy couples have in common. For example, they might argue constantly or have trouble communicating. The marriage might feel one-sided, leading to feelings of loneliness. And there might be a lack of romance or even the desire to start a romance with somebody else. All of these things can be warning signs that things are not going well in your marriage. If you are feeling this way, it’s important to communicate with your partner so you can decide the best course of action together.
Common Signs of an Unhappy Marriage: What To Do?
Constant Arguments
One common sign of an unhappy marriage is if a couple fights all the time. Arguments are normal in any relationship, but they should not be constant. If you and your spouse are always battling, it might be a sign that your communication needs some improvement. A therapist can be very helpful in navigating conflict. If fights escalate to abusive behavior, you need to end the relationship because the abuse is not likely to stop.
Loneliness
Another common sign of an unhappy marriage is a feeling of loneliness. If it feels like one person puts more effort into your relationship, it might be a red flag. Marriage should be a joint partnership with equal effort on both sides. In addition, if you feel like you don’t connect with your spouse anymore, or if you feel like they aren’t there for you, it might be time to examine where your relationship is going.
Lack of Romance
There might be a lack of romance in an unhappy marriage. This doesn’t necessarily mean sex. There can be reasons why couples might not be having sex that doesn’t mean they’re unhappy. However, there should always be some romance and some connection between partners. If you feel like the romance has died, it might be time to try to shake things up a bit. If that doesn’t work, or if you aren’t feeling inclined to do so, maybe it’s time to look at your marriage.
Feelings for Someone Else
Finally, if you are having romantic feelings for somebody else, it’s a sign that you’re in an unhappy marriage. While it’s normal to feel attraction to other people, if you’re wanting to start a relationship with them, it’s a sign that you aren’t having your needs met by your spouse. If you are talking to an ex or beginning to spend more time with a new friend then it’s time to have a conversation with your spouse.
It can be painful to realize that you are in an unhappy marriage. Maybe you’ve noticed that you and your spouse are constantly arguing, or that you feel lonely. Or that there’s a lack of romance in your relationship. Or maybe you’ve started talking to somebody new to fill a gap that your spouse isn’t filling. All of these things can point to an unhappy marriage. If you’re experiencing them, then it’s time to discuss things with your spouse. Find out how they feel and whether they’re experiencing the same issues. If you both want to heal your relationship, reach out to a marriage counselor and commit to giving your best effort. Hopefully, you can either decide together to make your marriage stronger or decide together to move towards an amicable divorce.
Jul 31, 2022 | Divorce, Marriage
It can feel not easy to make time for your marriage, especially if you have young children. However, it’s incredibly important for you and your spouse to reconnect. The best way to make time for your partner is to put it on your calendar. If you need childcare, don’t feel guilty about hiring a babysitter or asking for help from a friend. And remember, it’s not about the quantity of the time, it’s about the quality. Make a more concentrated effort to connect with your spouse and set aside other distractions. Hopefully, even with little children, you and your partner can find the time to make your marriage a priority.
How to Make Time for Your Marriage: Even with Young Children
Realize the Importance
The only way to make time for your marriage if you have young children is to realize how essential it is. Our lives get so busy, that it’s easy to allow relationships to take a back seat. However, every marriage needs effort and dedication. You can prioritize your relationship by showing appreciation for one another, communicating, and spending quality time together.
Put It in Your Calendar
The best way to make time for your marriage is to put it on your calendar. Physically blocking out a specific time during the week to reconnect with your spouse will help you both make it a habit. Don’t let other things take priority, but instead, make that time set in stone for each other.
Hire Help
While you can make time for your marriage by having a date night at home, sometimes it’s nice to get out of the house. Especially if you also work remotely. Hire a sitter for a few hours so that you and your spouse can have alone time where you know you won’t be interrupted. If a sitter isn’t an affordable option, see if a friend or family member will help out.
Make it Quality Time
Finally, when you do make time for your marriage, make sure that it’s quality time. Put aside your cell phones for a bit so that you can re-connect distraction-free. Try to take an interest in your partner’s life. Communication is all about becoming a better listener. When you set aside a specific time in the day to reconnect, it can prevent tensions from building up and bubbling over.
If you have young children, it might feel like you never have time for yourself, let alone your partner. However, it’s incredibly important to make time for your marriage so that you can re-connect with your spouse. It’s far too easy to begin to feel like roommates with one another, rather than partners in a marriage. So put quality time on your schedule and carve out some time each week to communicate with one another. Hire a sitter or ask a friend to watch your kids so that you won’t be distracted. And finally, put away your phones so that you can focus on one another. The years with young children can be difficult for a marriage, but if you both put effort into reconnecting, you can make your marriage even stronger.
Jul 9, 2022 | Financial Impact of Divorce, Marriage
It’s important to have financial discussions before marriage because one of the main reasons for divorce is money. Couples that cannot get on the same page with spending often have a lot of tension in their marriage. Therefore, ironing out the details of your financial health before going down the aisle is a great way to pave the way for a smoother relationship. Make sure to discuss your goals for the future, as well as your spending habits. Create a budget together and brainstorm ways to stick to it. Finally, if you are in debt, be upfront about it and work together to tackle it. Hopefully, you and your fiancé can set the stage for many more financial discussions in the future.
Financial Discussions Before Marriage: Getting Prepared
Why?
It’s incredibly important to have financial discussions before marriage. Money can be one of the biggest stressors in our lives. And especially in relationships. Some studies estimate that nearly half of divorces are caused by financial stress. Discussions about your joint wealth should be a very regular part of your marriage, so setting the stage early can be helpful.
Things to Discuss
It’s important to get on the same page with one another when having financial discussions before marriage. You and your fiancé should talk about your spending habits as well as your financial goals for the future. Think about if you’d like to have children one day and how you’ll pay for things like daycare and schooling. If you are considering a prenup, you will need to begin getting things in motion for it before you are married because it can take a little while.
Creating a Budget
You and your fiancé can begin practicing healthy spending habits early on in your engagement. When you have financial discussions before marriage, make sure to discuss budgeting. Having a budget that takes into account all of your monthly expenses and incomes is a great step towards beginning to save money together. It also allows you both to keep track of your finances.
Getting Out of Debt
Finally, no financial discussions before marriage would be complete without talking about debt. If either you or your fiancé is coming into a relationship with significant debt, you need to be upfront and honest about it. Whether it’s from school, medical costs, unhealthy spending habits, or anything else, your fiancé will be taking it on as well. The two of you need to discuss ways to pay down debt quickly.
Financial discussions before marriage are very helpful because it sets the stage for an ongoing openness about money. You and your spouse will both need to be aware of your financial health as a family. You also need to set goals together like saving for retirement, vacationing, or paying off debt. Because money can be a stressor in marriages, starting these conversations before you go down the aisle can help you both be more comfortable with money talks. Be upfront about debt and work on a solution together. And create a budget together so you have a better handle on finances. Hopefully, by paving the way for healthy discussions about money, you won’t allow it to become a stressor in your marriage.
Mar 11, 2022 | Family Law, Marriage
With so many people working from home for such a long time, many relationships are feeling the strain. It can be hard to keep the romance alive when you are around your partner every waking moment. While many people have gone back to work in person, many companies are switching to more long-term work-from-home set-ups. Employees have mixed feelings about this. But one thing is for sure: it can change your relationship dynamic. To keep the romance alive, try to make a schedule and stick to it. In addition, get up and put on clothes every day. Make sure to carve out some time alone each day. And finally, also make sure to carve out some dedicated couples time as well. It’s easy to forget that a relationship takes effort, but putting in the work will make you both happier and your relationship stronger.
Relationship Tips When Working from Home: How to Keep the Romance Alive
Make a Schedule
When working from home, it’s important to remember to stick to a schedule. It can be easy to fall into a pattern of lounging around or waiting until a few minutes before your first zoom call to get out of bed. But your mental health will be better if you start the day with a similar routine. Try to get up around the same time each day, and try to keep a similar bedtime as well. Structure your day with work, breaks, and some time to get outside in the fresh air for a bit.
Get Dressed
Another important thing to remember when working from home is to get dressed each day. This might seem silly but it can really change your attitude. Getting up, showering, and putting on clothes can boost your confidence and help you approach the day with a more productive attitude. It can also keep the romance alive a bit more when you and your partner are clean and in something other than pajamas!
Make Time for Yourself
It’s also very important to make time for yourself when working from home. Especially if you and your partner are both working from home full time and even more so if you have children. Carve out some time each day to be alone and to do something that makes you feel happy. It could be as simple as walking the dog, a phone call with a friend, or a bath. You can ask your partner to get out of the house for a little while and offer to switch with them if you feel like you want to be alone. Take a short drive, go run an errand, or get out for a walk to give them privacy.
Make Time for Each Other
While it’s important to take time for yourself when working from home it’s also important to make time for your partner as well. It’s easy to let the romance fade a little when you see each other day in and day out. But talking briefly between Zoom meetings isn’t really the type of quality time that a relationship needs. Try to set aside some time each week where the two of you can connect on non-work things. Keep the phones off and sit down for a meal together or go and do an activity that makes you feel close.
Working from home can be a difficult transition for many couples. While you typically would spend the day apart and then reconnect at night after work, you’re suddenly together all the time. It’s easy to get irritated and let the romance fade. To keep your relationship healthy, try to maintain a schedule as if you are still going into the office. That includes getting up, showering, and getting dressed each day. You don’t need to wear your most uncomfortable suit, but at least change out of your pajamas. Make time for yourself each and every day. And finally, it’s important to also carve out time to be together as a couple. It can be a difficult transition, but there are also a lot of benefits to working at home. Just make sure that you and your partner are on the same page and putting in equal effort into your relationship.
