Co-parenting after a contentious divorce can be tricky. You might be feeling incredibly frustrated, resentful, or even hurt. So dealing with your ex is probably the last thing you want to do. However, having two parents that can get along is much healthier for children than being around co-parents who display a lot of conflicts. So although it’s difficult, it’s important to put aside your anger for the sake of your children’s happiness. It’s helpful to focus on your mental well-being during this time. Learn to communicate directly and efficiently with your ex, and don’t send messages through your children. And finally, it’s best to keep all of your frustrations and conflict away from your kids all together. Seeing parents fighting can increase their anxiety. Although it’s difficult, hopefully, you and your ex can come to some sort of peaceful co-parenting solution for the sake of your children.
Co-Parenting After a Contentious Divorce: Moving On
Remember the Big Picture
When co-parenting after a contentious divorce, it’s important to remember the big picture. Yes, you might have a lot of resentment and anger toward your ex. However, retaliating by creating drama with custody will only end up hurting your children. The best thing that both of you can do for them is to provide peaceful and loving homes. And be supportive of their relationship with their other parent.
Work On Your Happiness
It’s also helpful to work on your happiness when co-parenting after a contentious divorce. The divorce process is finally over, so now is the time to re-focus on your own needs. Putting yourself in a better frame of mind will allow you more patience and grace to deal with your ex when dealing with custody issues.
Communicate Effectively
Healthy communication is the secret to co-parenting after a contentious divorce. It might take some trial and error, but you and your ex need to figure out the best way for you to communicate about childcare. For many, that means either face-to-face or via the telephone, but not over text or email where the tone of voice can be confused. It’s also important to speak directly to your co-parent and not try to convey messages to one another through your kids.
Don’t Involve the Children in Drama
Finally, when it comes to co-parenting after a contentious divorce, or when it comes to divorce in general, keep the drama away from your children. They are too young to understand the ins and outs of marriage and divorce. So unloading frustration on them about their other parent whom they love can hurt their feelings. Don’t let them overhear you getting into conflicts with your ex, and don’t trash talk in front of them.
Co-parenting after a contentious divorce might be a process of trial and error. It can take some time to figure out the best way to work together to figure out childcare. Especially if you and your ex went through a lot of pain and hurt with your divorce. Try to focus on the larger picture of creating a healthy and nurturing environment for your children. Work on improving your own happiness and mental health so that you can focus less on drama with your ex. Learn to communicate effectively and efficiently with your ex. And finally, keep the conflict away from your children. After all, is said and done, you and your ex-spouse still love your children deeply, so providing a healthy co-parenting relationship for them is the most important thing.