The custody transition after divorce can be a difficult and painful time for parents and children. Everything they know is changing and sometimes children don’t react well. They might lash out, shut down, regress in behaviors, or show other concerning signs of stress. Remind yourself and them that this will seem normal soon enough. Be as consistent as you can be across your households with schedules and activities. Give your children an outlet if they are older. For example, a child psychologist or therapist to talk to about their feelings. And finally, be patient. This process can take a long time and many struggles with this transition for a while. But hopefully, your children will adapt to change quickly and everybody will settle into their new routine easily.
Easing the Custody Transition After Divorce: Easing Your Child’s Worries
Reassure Them
It can help ease the custody transition after divorce to always reassure your children. Reassure them that you love them and that the divorce did not have anything to do with them. Children often feel guilt about divorces or internalize them as their fault. Make sure they know that is not the case. Also, reassure them they’ll get used to their new schedule quickly.
Be Consistent
Children thrive on consistency. So it can be helpful when easing the custody transition after divorce to keep their routines as similar as possible. Try to stick to their normal schedule and school activities. Make sure that you and your ex are following similar routines at each of your houses. Try to keep bedtime, mealtimes, and wake times as consistent as possible.
Give Them An Outlet
If you have older children, a professional can help ease the custody transition for them. They might not want to open up to you or your ex because you are so involved in the situation. So giving them another adult that they can trust is often very helpful. Reach out to a child therapist or counselor. Even younger children can benefit from seeing a child psychologist.
Be Patient
Finally, be patient with the custody transition. It can take a long time for children to get in the swing of things with their new schedules. Try to give them the time and space to feel their feelings without pressuring them. Just be consistent and reassure them of your love. Make them feel secure. Eventually, they will come to see their new schedule as normal.
Easing the custody transition for children during a divorce can be hard on parents. Children feel emotions deeply and it can often be hard to figure out what’s going on in their heads. Divorce can be very hard on children, but with some consistency and love, you can help them get used to their new normal. Constantly reassure them that the divorce is not their fault and that you love them. Be as consistent as you can be with their schedules across your and your ex’s households. If your children are older, consider letting them speak with a counselor or therapist about their feelings. Children often open up more to adults who are not their parents. And finally, just give it time. This transition can take a while, but hopefully, you will all adjust to your new lives and begin the next exciting chapter.