If you and your spouse have decided on separation, it’s important to use that time to examine what your goals are for the relationship. Some states require separation before divorce, and some are more formal than others. However, many couples choose to take some time apart before deciding on getting a divorce. Both of you need to focus on making this time productive so that you can decide your future together. Practice open communication through counseling. In addition, take time to explore your feelings outside of the marriage. And finally, keep kids out of the drama. Hopefully, you and your partner can use this time effectively to help determine what you should do in the future.
How to Have a Healthy Separation: Making the Most of It
Why Separate?
While some states require a separation period before a divorce, many couples choose to do it regardless. Getting some space is a great way to examine your relationship from a little bit of distance. When you’re right in the thick of arguments, it’s hard to see the bigger picture of your relationship. Separation can be the first step towards divorce unless a couple decides to use this time to heal from old hurts and move forward with honest communication.
Open Communication
Communication is the foundation of a strong marriage, but it’s hard for many couples to accomplish this. Your separation time is a great time to focus on becoming better communicators. One way to improve this is to speak to a marriage counselor. Therapy can go a long way in helping a couple reconcile old arguments and heal long-standing wounds.
Explore Your Feelings
It’s helpful to take this separation time as a chance to explore your feelings. Get to know yourself outside of the marriage, and outside of the influence of your partner. This is a time for you to focus on yourself, so try to avoid any sort of affairs or rebound relationships. Instead, focus on what you’d like your future to look like, and how you can achieve that with your spouse.
Keep Kids Out of It
Finally, one last thing to remember during a separation is to keep your children out of it. They’ll need to know the basics that they might be moving back and forth between two homes. However, don’t get into the details with them. In addition, never trash-talk your spouse in front of them. Children love both of their parents equally, and hearing you speak negatively about a person they love can be stressful and scary for them. Always treat your spouse with respect and kindness, especially in front of your kids.
Separation can be a difficult thing to decide on. And for some couples, it’s a stepping stone to divorce. However, many couples determine to use this time fruitfully and wind up stronger than ever. Give yourself some space from the relationship so you can examine your marriage and what you’d like the future to look like. Be in constant contact with one another, and improve your communication through marriage counseling during this time. Try to focus on yourself and decide what you want to get out of this time. And finally, keep your children out of it as much as possible. Whatever decision you come to, hopefully, you and your spouse will be on the same page after your period of separation.