Marriage counseling is a great tool for any couple to use throughout their marriage. A good marriage counselor can give you tips to strengthen your bond in good times and in hard times. However, some people view the need for counseling as a weakness. They might not be open to seeing a therapist at all. If you are trying to convince a partner to see a counselor with you, make sure to pick a good time and place to bring up the conversation. Do your homework up front so you can tell them what they can expect from a session. Listen to their concerns and try to work through some of them. If they refuse, you can still go on your own and benefit from counseling. Hopefully, you’ll be able to convince them to join, and you both can get the support you need.
How to Talk Your Partner Into Marriage Counseling: A Tough Sell for Some
Choose the Right Time and Place
If you’re trying to convince a partner to try marriage counseling, it’s important to start the conversation in the right way. For example, you want to pick a time when you have some uninterrupted time to talk things through. Don’t sideline them as they’re walking out the door. Instead, tell them you’d like to discuss something important and then in a non-judgemental way, bring up therapy. Make sure it doesn’t sound like you are accusing them of anything. Rather, you just think that both of you could benefit from some outside support.
Do Your Homework Up Front
Do your homework on marriage counseling up front, especially if it’s going to be a tough sell. You might even consider going ahead and making an appointment and just letting your partner know you’d like them to join you. Research what happens in counseling sessions so you can alleviate any worries they have. Remind them that you aren’t going so that they can be blamed for anything, and the therapist will not choose sides.
Listen to Their Concerns
If you are having trouble convincing a partner to go to marriage counseling, listen to their reasons why. They might not have a lot of confidence in therapy in general. Or perhaps, they’re afraid of letting a stranger know intimate details of your life. They might even be worried that the therapist will choose sides and they will feel ganged up on. Try to reassure them as much as you can while being respectful of their feelings.
If They Still Won’t Go
Finally, if your partner refuses to go to marriage counseling, just go yourself! Even if you are there alone, there is so much a therapist can do to help you. They might give you advice about talking with your spouse or things to try to convince them to come. Perhaps if your spouse sees the improvements you make in your life because of therapy, they’ll be convinced to try a session.
Bringing up marriage counseling can be a difficult conversation for some couples. If you know that it’s going to be a tough sell with your partner, make sure to pick the right moment to bring it up. Have plenty of time and privacy to discuss, and don’t suggest it during a fight or as you’re walking out the door. Do your research upfront so you can let them know what happens during a session and what to expect. Listen to their concerns respectfully and try to alleviate their worries as best as you can. Hopefully, you can convince them to join you, but if not, it’s still worth going on your own. Every person can benefit from counseling. Hopefully, you and your partner will go together and learn to strengthen your marriage.