If you think your spouse is cheating, it can be devastating for your marriage. However, an affair is a big deal and something that hopefully neither you nor your partner takes lightly. Accusing them of cheating can be hurtful if they aren’t, so it’s important to get a clear head before you try to confront them. Make a list of the reasons why you suspect the cheating. Get a second opinion from a trusted friend or family member. Decide how you feel about the situation in general, and whether or not you’re ready to know the truth. If you still feel like your partner might be cheating, the only way to know for sure is to ask them. Calmly confront them and try to get to the bottom of it. Hopefully, you and your spouse can work through whatever happens next together.
I Think My Spouse is Cheating, Now What? Gathering Evidence
Make a List
If you think your spouse is cheating, it can be helpful to try to get a little space. Please make a list of all the reasons why you think they might be cheating and all the reasons why you think they are loyal. Then take a few days and try to take a little time for yourself to get your head clear. After that, revisit the list and see if the reasons still seem legitimate. Sometimes, we panic and start making more out of small situations. Getting a little space can often bring this to light and release some anxiety.
Get a Second Opinion
Another thing you can do if you suspect that your spouse is cheating is to get a second opinion. However, accusing somebody of infidelity is a bell that you can’t unring. So be careful who you confide in. You might want to speak to a therapist or a close friend that you know will keep your confidence. They can help you decide if you are jumping to conclusions that might not be true.
Decide How You Feel
If you feel sure that your spouse is cheating, it’s essential to take some time before you confront them to process your feelings. Decide whether or not this is a truth that you want to know. Get support from somebody you trust, or speak with a therapist to help you prepare for how you might feel if you find out that it’s true. When you feel like you are ready to learn one way or the other, it’s time to confront them.
Confront Them
There’s no other way to find out whether or not your spouse is cheating other than to confront them about it and ask. Try to pick a time when you are both calm and won’t be interrupted, and set them down for a serious discussion. Don’t throw out your accusation in the middle of an argument. Ask about how your spouse is feeling about your relationship and whether there is anything they’d like to tell you. Finally, you can mention your fears and the reasons why you suspect that they’re having an affair. Hopefully, they will be truthful with you, whatever the case.
If you think your spouse is cheating, it can create confusion and panic. It’s easy to spin out of control with these kinds of thoughts and psyche yourself out. It can be helpful to take a little time to relax and collect yourself. Write down the reasons why you think your partner is cheating, and then revisit them in a few days to see if they seem silly or not. Confide in a close friend for a second opinion, but make sure they can keep your confidence. Before you confront your partner about it, decide if you’re ready to hear the truth. Then, ask them directly in a calm conversation. Hopefully, whether the answer is yes or no, you and your spouse will be able to move forward in a way that makes sense for both of you.