Newborns are hard no matter what, but welcoming a baby with your marriage on the rocks already can add even more strain to your relationship. You’ll likely be operating with very little sleep and a whole lot more responsibility. So even the strongest of marriages can be shaken to their core by the arrival of a new baby. If you’re already having some issues, it can help to try to identify the root of the issue. Counseling can be helpful with this and in resolving conflicts in the future. Enlist help and get support wherever you can find it. Finally, remember to always put your baby first. Sometimes, that means getting a divorce if things are not working out. Try to give yourself some grace, and remember that your children will be perfectly healthy and happy as long as you and your spouse can co-parent peacefully.
Welcoming a Baby with Your Marriage on the Rocks: Navigating an Already Stressful Situation with No Sleep
Get to the Root of the Issues
When welcoming a baby with your marriage on the rocks, it can be helpful to try to get to the root of your issues. Figuring out where the source of the tension is in your relationship can help you navigate through it. That way, you can avoid overly stressful topics or situations that are likely to lead to arguments. At least while you survive the infant stage.
Counseling
Counseling can be hugely helpful when welcoming a baby with your marriage on the rocks. It can be hard to get out of the house, but many counselors offer virtual visits now. And finding time before the baby comes can help you figure out where the stress in your relationship is coming from. They can help you improve your communication, set expectations for one another, and healthily navigate conflict.
Enlist Help
Babies are difficult, there’s no getting around it. Enlist help and support wherever you possibly can. For example, if friends or family want to visit the baby, take the time to sneak away for a few minutes to yourself. If people offer help, take them up on it. You can also hire out whatever chores you can for the time being so that you can maximize your time with the baby without having other obligations on your mind. Think about outsourcing things like laundry, cooking, house-cleaning, dog-walking, or yard work.
Put the Baby First
Finally, sometimes it’s okay to admit your relationship isn’t working out. And welcoming a baby with your marriage on the rocks might be just the thing to truly show you that things are not going to work out. Try to remind yourself that your children will be happier with two parents who can co-parent than with parents who fight all the time. Sometimes divorce is truly the best thing for the entire family.
Welcoming a baby with your marriage on the rocks is not ideal. Going through the early newborn stages can test any relationship, so if you’re already starting at a tense place, it can exacerbate the problems. Try to get to the root of your issues to see if there’s anything that you can do before the baby arrives to smooth the waters. Speaking with a couples counselor can be very helpful for figuring out the root of your issues, and ways to navigate them. Additionally, hiring out anything you can is helpful. Try to outsource chores and other responsibilities so that you aren’t stressed about getting them done while taking care of a baby. And finally, sometimes you just have to accept that a relationship is not healthy, no matter how much you’d like to make it work. An amicable divorce can be the best solution and can wind up being the healthier alternative for everybody in the family.