Apr 16, 2023 | Divorce, Family Law
Being a stepparent can be both rewarding and tricky. As a new stepparent, you are going to want to create a bond with your new stepchildren. Do not be surprised if it takes a new stepchild a while to warm up to you. At the same time, do not let this slow warming-up period think it will never get better. Keep working at it, and things will turn around. It will just take some time and some patience as they adjust to this changing dynamic.
How-to Bond with Stepchildren: Relationship Building
Spend Quality Time Together
As with any relationship, you have to spend time together to form a bond with stepchildren. Plan to do fun, special things with your stepchildren. Start by asking them what types of activities they like to do. By doing something that they already enjoy, they may have a more positive experience. Make sure you are spending good, quality time with them and that you are actually engaging. For example, sitting in the corner, distracted, on the phone will not show the kids that you want to interact with them. If you try to make these fun activities a routine, your stepchildren will start looking forward to spending time with you.
Understand Their Frustrations
Do your best to be patient with your stepchildren and understand their frustrations. For instance, you should listen to them, and hear what they have to say. Just as it took time for you to adjust to a new relationship, it will take the kid’s time as well. Also, keep in mind that you were able to choose your new partner. Remember that they did not have as much say in the situation. They will likely express their frustration at that at some points as you build your bond with stepchildren.
Get Involved in Their Life
Do things that show your stepchildren that you care about them. Go to their game, play, recital, or another event they are involved in. For instance, ask them questions, and make sure to seem genuinely interested. Try and learn about the things that they participate in. Show interest in them and what they care about. Do your best to be supportive of them as well. One tip would be to offer to drive them to their practice or activity. This would show you care about something they are a part of and also will give you some good one-on-one time with them.
Treat Them Like Your Own Kids
If you make your stepchildren feel like they’re just an extra thing you have to carry around, they will start to resent you. Keep in mind that these kids have just gone through some big changes, and likely just had some sad experiences. For example, try introducing them as your kids, instead of step kids, so that they feel included. You definitely do not want them to feel like they are not really part of the family. Additionally, that includes not showing favoritism towards any biological kids you may have. The best way to do this is by treating them as if they were your own kids.
At the same time, do not try to replace their actual parents. Your role is not to replace their mom or dad, but to be a stepparent. Your role is special and does not have to compete with their biological parents. Also, be candid with your stepchildren and tell them that this is all new for you too.
Although it may feel like it is taking a while, do not give up. Just make sure you are showing interest in your stepchildren and their lives, being patient and understanding, and treating them as one of your own. Over time, these steps will help you form a strong bond between yourself and your stepchildren.
Feb 20, 2023 | Divorce, Family Law
Divorce can be a draining and emotional process which can leave you feeling pretty down and depressed. These feelings can begin to seep into other parts of your life, especially if you’re a co-parenting. Co-parenting depression can be rough on both you and your kids. Therefore, it’s helpful to know some methods which make things easier for everyone and can help you bounce back…
Co-Parenting Depression: Emotional Impact of Divorce
Have shared house rules
Something which can make your co-parenting depression worse is a lack of shared rules. It can be extremely tough for you when your kids forget how to behave because you and your ex don’t share any basic rules. Plus, this makes It harder for your kids to learn what kind of behavior is acceptable or not. Therefore, you’ll want to have some rules which you both enforce.
For example, maybe you can both agree on certain bedtimes. You may also be able to find common ground on when they should do their homework, time they get to spend on electronics, etc. While not every rule has to be the same, just having a few in common can make things go smoother.
Keep in touch
Another issue which can contribute to co-parenting depression is a lack of communication. Some exes struggle to talk without arguing. Others may not communicate at all, which prevents them from being on the same page. However, it’s important to keep some kind of healthy communication open.
One thing you may want to try is keeping your conversations digital. It may be easier for you to keep it touch via email or text instead of phone calls or in-person meetings. Plus, it’ll be more convenient, especially if there’s any sudden schedule changes or other issues which come up.
Focus on what you have
Going from being a “normal” family to a split one is a major source of co-parenting depression. This can be made even worse if it seems your ex is moving on faster then you are. However, it’s important not to focus on the supposed negatives. Rather, you should focus on the positive things you have.
After all, you still get to be a parent to your kids and be involved in their lives. Just because you’re divorced doesn’t mean you can’t be a great parent. There may even be new opportunities which have opened up because of your divorce. You just have to be willing to look for them!
Dec 18, 2022 | Divorce, Family Law
When you’re in a marriage, it can become a large part of your identity. As a result, a divorce can make you question who you really are. Discovering your new post-divorce identity can be tricky. However, there are some ways you can make it easier…
Post-Divorce Identity: Find the New You
Viewing divorce
In order to create your new post-divorce identity, you should first consider how you view the divorce itself. For many people, they see their marriage as a sign of success. Over time, their marriage becomes a very important part of who they are. A divorce is drastically changing what they see as a key part of who they are.
Usually, this will make them feel like they are a failure. They believe that they failed in their role as a spouse, rather than accepting that sometime relationships of all types don’t work out. This also tends to come with a massive sense of loss. If you find yourself feeling this way, then it’s key to make some changes.
Don’t let divorce define you
It’s important that you don’t let your divorce define your post-divorce identity. The end of a marriage doesn’t mean you can’t experience new, great things in the future. Instead, you have to keep in mind that a divorce is just one small hurdle in the grand scheme of life.
You should also remember that while a divorce can be rough, it doesn’t always properly represent the people involved. You and your spouse can be great people who just had a relationship which didn’t work out. The thing is, there’s nothing wrong with that, and you don’t have to let it define you!
Looking to the future
Your should focus your post-divorce identity on what you want to do in the future. It’s good to take some time and reflect on what you really enjoy doing. Start small by thinking about stuff like hobbies or interests that you neglected while married. These can serve to be some inspiration for what you’d like to do down the line.
Also, consider the lessons your marriage and divorce have taught you. Taking away those important lessons will help you immensely in the future. That way, you can begin to do some strong self-improvement, and really become the person you want to be.
Dec 11, 2022 | Adoption, Family Law
It is no secret that adoptions can be very expensive. Some families who are wanting to adopt may face financial challenges when setting out on their adoption journey. It can feel like an overwhelming challenge at times. But, there are many creative ways people raise money for adoptions. Learn more about being able to pay for an adoption so that you are prepared when the time comes.
How-to Raise Money for Adoptions: Fund-Raising
Crowdfunding Campaigns
Crowdfunding campaigns like GoFundMe have become a popular way to raise money for an adoption. If you are able to create a blog, record a video, or find a way to share your story, other people could be inspired to donate to your cause. Who knows, your fundraiser campaign could even go viral.
Another crowdfunding resource is Kickstarter. The drawback to this one is that you may not get your funds released if you do not hit your set goal. This is different than GoFundMe, which releases the funds even if you do not raise the full amount of your goal.
Gift Campaign
Your birthday is perfect time to raise money for adoptions. Instead of asking for physical gifts, ask for a donation towards your adoption fund instead. This also applies to Christmas gifts as well. When someone asks you want you want for a gift, tell them you are skipping physical gifts in lieu of donations towards the adoption goal.
Also, fundraising campaigns on Facebook are becoming popular for birthday gift campaigns. You are able to create a fundraiser to help raise money for a cause. Many people launch these fundraisers for their birthday.
Declutter Your Home
You probably have extra clutter laying around your house. Use decluttering to your advantage and raise money for adoptions. As an added bonus, you will be making more room for your new child and their things! One way to do this is to host a yard sale. You can sell unwanted items and clothing out in your own front yard!
If your home is not conducive to this, or you do not want to set up a yard sale, there are other options for you. Ebay, Poshmark, Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist are all great resources for selling unwanted items. Poshmark is more geared towards clothing items, but the other 3 platforms can sell just about anything.
While it may seem like an unreachable challenge to raise all of the money you need for an adoption, it is possible. Use crowdfunding resources, forgo asking for physical gifts in lieu of a donation, and sell unwanted items laying around your house. If you put in some effort, you will be well on your way towards reaching your goal in no time!
Dec 4, 2022 | Divorce, Family Law
Adjusting spousal support, or alimony can be a complicated process. In South Carolina, some alimony payments last a lifetime because they are “periodic alimony,” or permanent alimony. This is the most common form of alimony. However, there are a few instances where these supports might change. Death, marriage, or moving in with a partner might change alimony, as can a substantial change in circumstances. However, there are specific rules about changing these payments. Therefore, the best thing to do if you want to try to change alimony payments is to speak to an attorney. They can assist you in going through the proper legal channels and can do their best to get your alimony payments where they ought to be.
Adjusting Spousal Support in SC: Changing Alimony
What is Spousal Support?
Spousal support, or alimony, is the money that one spouse pays to another after a divorce. This money is typical to help the receiving spouse maintain the same lifestyle after the split. When deciding on how much spousal support to award, a judge takes into account many factors. For example, each person’s income and needs. Adjusting spousal support can be a tricky process because alimony is typically permanent in South Carolina.
Reasons for Adjusting or Terminating Spousal Support
While most alimony is permanent, adjusting spousal support is possible in a few scenarios. For example, if either spouse passes away, alimony support stops and does not pass on to heirs. In addition, if the receiving spouse re-marries or lives with a new partner for more than ninety days, the alimony payments also terminate. And finally, if there is a substantial change in circumstances.
More About Substantial Changes
Adjusting spousal support because of a substantial change in circumstances can be proved in a number of different ways. For example, if either the sending or receiving spouse has a change in salary or income it can change alimony. Or if either has a new health issue arises. If the spouse receiving payments inherits a large sum of money, it might mean a reduction in support payments. The change must be unexpected and new since the time of the divorce.
First Steps
Adjusting spousal support is best left to your family law attorney. They can help guide you through the process to get the results that you want and deserve. If you believe that your payments should be reduced, or if you want to defend against an ex trying to reduce payments, it’s important to get legal representation.
Adjusting spousal support is not very common in some states, South Carolina among them. Most alimony payments in South Carolina are permanent, or periodic alimony. However, there are a few circumstances where you might be able to reduce payments. For example, if either partner dies or if the receiving spouse gets remarried or moves in with a new partner. Or if either party can prove a significant change in circumstances. Many factors go into proving these facts, so the best course of action is to engage an experienced family law attorney as soon as possible. They can assist you in proving your case and getting the results that you deserve when it comes to adjusting alimony.
Aug 14, 2022 | Divorce, Family Law
Many factors can affect the cost of divorce, and some depend on the state that you live in. However, there are several that almost always can raise the price of your litigation. If you have children and need to figure out a custody situation, that almost always makes your divorce more complicated. In addition, complicated assets or properties can drive up the price. A lot depends on you and your ex’s ability to compromise on issues. The more you can agree on up front, the quicker things can get resolved. And this will in turn keep your costs lower. There are many factors affecting the overall price of divorce, but your ability to compromise will help you save money.
Factors that Affect the Cost of Divorce: Keeping Your Costs Lower
Custody
One of the factors that almost always affects the cost of divorce is custody. If you and your ex have children, you’ll be needing to figure out a custody arrangement. This almost always gets complicated, and in turn, can take a long time. Parents want the best for their children, and emotions can run high. But the longer that litigation goes on, the higher the bill.
Complicated Assets
Another factor that can increase the cost of divorce is your assets. If you have complicated assets, stocks, or many properties, it can make things more expensive. This is because it takes longer to figure out all of their value, and how to split them fairly. If you and your ex own any companies together, this can also complicate matters.
Ability to Compromise
Your ability to compromise is the thing that affects the cost of your divorce the most. The more that you and your ex can agree on up front, the better off you’ll be money-wise. If you can figure out how you want to handle things in mediation without having to go to court, you’ll save yourself even more money. The quicker you can resolve issues, the less time you’ll be billed.
Other Factors
Many factors affect the cost of divorce, some that you can control, and some that you can’t. For example, the state that you live in will have some effect on your settlement costs. In addition, your costs also depend on who you choose as your divorce attorney. But remember, you get what you pay for, and attorneys are no exception. While you might spend more money upfront to hire a more experienced divorce attorney, the settlement they get for you will probably be worth it.
Figuring out the cost of divorce is nearly impossible to do from the beginning. However, many attorneys can give you an overall estimate of what to expect. A lot depends on your unique situation. However, across the board, there are some things that almost always raise the price. Custody battles generally make things more expensive, as well as having a complicated estate or assets. If you and your ex are unable to compromise on anything, it can make your litigation take much longer to resolve. And this can increase the price. Hiring excelling representation can also be expensive, but likely will get you the settlement you want. The bottom line is that divorce is expensive for everybody, but the more you and your ex can compromise on, the lower you’ll keep your costs.
