Dec 18, 2022 | Divorce, Family Law
When you’re in a marriage, it can become a large part of your identity. As a result, a divorce can make you question who you really are. Discovering your new post-divorce identity can be tricky. However, there are some ways you can make it easier…
Post-Divorce Identity: Find the New You
Viewing divorce
In order to create your new post-divorce identity, you should first consider how you view the divorce itself. For many people, they see their marriage as a sign of success. Over time, their marriage becomes a very important part of who they are. A divorce is drastically changing what they see as a key part of who they are.
Usually, this will make them feel like they are a failure. They believe that they failed in their role as a spouse, rather than accepting that sometime relationships of all types don’t work out. This also tends to come with a massive sense of loss. If you find yourself feeling this way, then it’s key to make some changes.
Don’t let divorce define you
It’s important that you don’t let your divorce define your post-divorce identity. The end of a marriage doesn’t mean you can’t experience new, great things in the future. Instead, you have to keep in mind that a divorce is just one small hurdle in the grand scheme of life.
You should also remember that while a divorce can be rough, it doesn’t always properly represent the people involved. You and your spouse can be great people who just had a relationship which didn’t work out. The thing is, there’s nothing wrong with that, and you don’t have to let it define you!
Looking to the future
Your should focus your post-divorce identity on what you want to do in the future. It’s good to take some time and reflect on what you really enjoy doing. Start small by thinking about stuff like hobbies or interests that you neglected while married. These can serve to be some inspiration for what you’d like to do down the line.
Also, consider the lessons your marriage and divorce have taught you. Taking away those important lessons will help you immensely in the future. That way, you can begin to do some strong self-improvement, and really become the person you want to be.
Dec 11, 2022 | Adoption, Family Law
It is no secret that adoptions can be very expensive. Some families who are wanting to adopt may face financial challenges when setting out on their adoption journey. It can feel like an overwhelming challenge at times. But, there are many creative ways people raise money for adoptions. Learn more about being able to pay for an adoption so that you are prepared when the time comes.
How-to Raise Money for Adoptions: Fund-Raising
Crowdfunding Campaigns
Crowdfunding campaigns like GoFundMe have become a popular way to raise money for an adoption. If you are able to create a blog, record a video, or find a way to share your story, other people could be inspired to donate to your cause. Who knows, your fundraiser campaign could even go viral.
Another crowdfunding resource is Kickstarter. The drawback to this one is that you may not get your funds released if you do not hit your set goal. This is different than GoFundMe, which releases the funds even if you do not raise the full amount of your goal.
Gift Campaign
Your birthday is perfect time to raise money for adoptions. Instead of asking for physical gifts, ask for a donation towards your adoption fund instead. This also applies to Christmas gifts as well. When someone asks you want you want for a gift, tell them you are skipping physical gifts in lieu of donations towards the adoption goal.
Also, fundraising campaigns on Facebook are becoming popular for birthday gift campaigns. You are able to create a fundraiser to help raise money for a cause. Many people launch these fundraisers for their birthday.
Declutter Your Home
You probably have extra clutter laying around your house. Use decluttering to your advantage and raise money for adoptions. As an added bonus, you will be making more room for your new child and their things! One way to do this is to host a yard sale. You can sell unwanted items and clothing out in your own front yard!
If your home is not conducive to this, or you do not want to set up a yard sale, there are other options for you. Ebay, Poshmark, Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist are all great resources for selling unwanted items. Poshmark is more geared towards clothing items, but the other 3 platforms can sell just about anything.
While it may seem like an unreachable challenge to raise all of the money you need for an adoption, it is possible. Use crowdfunding resources, forgo asking for physical gifts in lieu of a donation, and sell unwanted items laying around your house. If you put in some effort, you will be well on your way towards reaching your goal in no time!
Dec 4, 2022 | Divorce, Family Law
Adjusting spousal support, or alimony can be a complicated process. In South Carolina, some alimony payments last a lifetime because they are “periodic alimony,” or permanent alimony. This is the most common form of alimony. However, there are a few instances where these supports might change. Death, marriage, or moving in with a partner might change alimony, as can a substantial change in circumstances. However, there are specific rules about changing these payments. Therefore, the best thing to do if you want to try to change alimony payments is to speak to an attorney. They can assist you in going through the proper legal channels and can do their best to get your alimony payments where they ought to be.
Adjusting Spousal Support in SC: Changing Alimony
What is Spousal Support?
Spousal support, or alimony, is the money that one spouse pays to another after a divorce. This money is typical to help the receiving spouse maintain the same lifestyle after the split. When deciding on how much spousal support to award, a judge takes into account many factors. For example, each person’s income and needs. Adjusting spousal support can be a tricky process because alimony is typically permanent in South Carolina.
Reasons for Adjusting or Terminating Spousal Support
While most alimony is permanent, adjusting spousal support is possible in a few scenarios. For example, if either spouse passes away, alimony support stops and does not pass on to heirs. In addition, if the receiving spouse re-marries or lives with a new partner for more than ninety days, the alimony payments also terminate. And finally, if there is a substantial change in circumstances.
More About Substantial Changes
Adjusting spousal support because of a substantial change in circumstances can be proved in a number of different ways. For example, if either the sending or receiving spouse has a change in salary or income it can change alimony. Or if either has a new health issue arises. If the spouse receiving payments inherits a large sum of money, it might mean a reduction in support payments. The change must be unexpected and new since the time of the divorce.
First Steps
Adjusting spousal support is best left to your family law attorney. They can help guide you through the process to get the results that you want and deserve. If you believe that your payments should be reduced, or if you want to defend against an ex trying to reduce payments, it’s important to get legal representation.
Adjusting spousal support is not very common in some states, South Carolina among them. Most alimony payments in South Carolina are permanent, or periodic alimony. However, there are a few circumstances where you might be able to reduce payments. For example, if either partner dies or if the receiving spouse gets remarried or moves in with a new partner. Or if either party can prove a significant change in circumstances. Many factors go into proving these facts, so the best course of action is to engage an experienced family law attorney as soon as possible. They can assist you in proving your case and getting the results that you deserve when it comes to adjusting alimony.
Aug 14, 2022 | Divorce, Family Law
Many factors can affect the cost of divorce, and some depend on the state that you live in. However, there are several that almost always can raise the price of your litigation. If you have children and need to figure out a custody situation, that almost always makes your divorce more complicated. In addition, complicated assets or properties can drive up the price. A lot depends on you and your ex’s ability to compromise on issues. The more you can agree on up front, the quicker things can get resolved. And this will in turn keep your costs lower. There are many factors affecting the overall price of divorce, but your ability to compromise will help you save money.
Factors that Affect the Cost of Divorce: Keeping Your Costs Lower
Custody
One of the factors that almost always affects the cost of divorce is custody. If you and your ex have children, you’ll be needing to figure out a custody arrangement. This almost always gets complicated, and in turn, can take a long time. Parents want the best for their children, and emotions can run high. But the longer that litigation goes on, the higher the bill.
Complicated Assets
Another factor that can increase the cost of divorce is your assets. If you have complicated assets, stocks, or many properties, it can make things more expensive. This is because it takes longer to figure out all of their value, and how to split them fairly. If you and your ex own any companies together, this can also complicate matters.
Ability to Compromise
Your ability to compromise is the thing that affects the cost of your divorce the most. The more that you and your ex can agree on up front, the better off you’ll be money-wise. If you can figure out how you want to handle things in mediation without having to go to court, you’ll save yourself even more money. The quicker you can resolve issues, the less time you’ll be billed.
Other Factors
Many factors affect the cost of divorce, some that you can control, and some that you can’t. For example, the state that you live in will have some effect on your settlement costs. In addition, your costs also depend on who you choose as your divorce attorney. But remember, you get what you pay for, and attorneys are no exception. While you might spend more money upfront to hire a more experienced divorce attorney, the settlement they get for you will probably be worth it.
Figuring out the cost of divorce is nearly impossible to do from the beginning. However, many attorneys can give you an overall estimate of what to expect. A lot depends on your unique situation. However, across the board, there are some things that almost always raise the price. Custody battles generally make things more expensive, as well as having a complicated estate or assets. If you and your ex are unable to compromise on anything, it can make your litigation take much longer to resolve. And this can increase the price. Hiring excelling representation can also be expensive, but likely will get you the settlement you want. The bottom line is that divorce is expensive for everybody, but the more you and your ex can compromise on, the lower you’ll keep your costs.
Jul 1, 2022 | Co-parenting, Family Law
If you are wondering if you should fight for sole custody after your divorce, a lot depends on the motivations behind it. If you want to fight for custody as a way of retaliating against your ex, it’s probably not the best idea. However, if you have concerns about your ex’s ability to parent, then it might be best to seek sole custody. Think about your children’s schedules as well and what type of custody will give them the most consistency. There can be harmful effects if your children are close to their other parents and suddenly don’t get to see them anymore. But if you have any concerns about their safety, then sole custody might be in their best interest. Hopefully, you and your ex can find the solution that works best for you and your children.
Should I Fight for Sole Custody? When Sole Custody is Appropriate
What’s the Motivation?
The motivation behind wanting to fight for sole custody is an important thing to consider. Divorces can be bitter and long, and create a lot of resentment. If that resentment is the reason you want to seek sole custody, you might want to think again. You need to put aside your feelings and think about what’s in your children’s best interests. No matter how difficult the divorce was, if your ex is a good parent, your children deserve to have them in their lives.
Your Children’s Schedules
A major consideration when deciding if you want to fight for sole custody is your children’s schedules. Kids thrive on consistency. Therefore, the more reliable schedule you can give them the better. You and your ex need to try to work together to keep their wake times, sleep times, mealtimes, and activities as similar as possible. If you don’t think your ex is capable of this, then maybe sole custody is a good idea. For example, if your ex doesn’t have a stable living environment or schedule, then that could be difficult for your kids.
Repercussions
It’s important to think through the decision about whether to fight for sole custody carefully. This is a big deal. There can be harmful effects on children if they are separated from a parent. Especially if they are close with both of their parents. Often, kids start acting out or displaying other behavioral issues when they are going through such big changes. If you do seek sole custody, make sure to get your children the support they need. For example, a child therapist or psychologist.
Safety Concerns
If you have any safety concerns about your children with your ex, then it’s a good idea to fight for sole custody. For example, if there are substance abuse problems or mental illnesses that make them unreliable. Or if their living environment is chaotic or unsafe for children. Sole custody doesn’t just mean the physical custody of children. You will also be the sole decider in all decisions for them, for things like medical questions, schooling, and anything else that comes up. So if you have concerns about your ex’s ability to make those kinds of decisions, then it might be appropriate to seek sole custody.
The decision to fight for sole custody is a big one and one that needs a lot of consideration. If you do win sole custody you will be responsible for making all legal decisions for your children. Make sure that your motivation for seeking sole custody is in the kids’ best interest. Not a way of getting back at your ex. Consider your kids’ schedules when coming up with a plan. And keep in mind that children need consistency in their lives. Think things through carefully as there can be harmful effects of children losing one of their parents. However, if you have safety concerns then it might be in your kids’ best interest to seek sole custody. They need a safe and stable environment. Hopefully, you and your family can find the custody arrangement that suits you best, and your children can adapt quickly.
Jun 24, 2022 | Divorce, Family Law
Marriage counseling is a great tool for any couple to use throughout their marriage. A good marriage counselor can give you tips to strengthen your bond in good times and in hard times. However, some people view the need for counseling as a weakness. They might not be open to seeing a therapist at all. If you are trying to convince a partner to see a counselor with you, make sure to pick a good time and place to bring up the conversation. Do your homework up front so you can tell them what they can expect from a session. Listen to their concerns and try to work through some of them. If they refuse, you can still go on your own and benefit from counseling. Hopefully, you’ll be able to convince them to join, and you both can get the support you need.
How to Talk Your Partner Into Marriage Counseling: A Tough Sell for Some
Choose the Right Time and Place
If you’re trying to convince a partner to try marriage counseling, it’s important to start the conversation in the right way. For example, you want to pick a time when you have some uninterrupted time to talk things through. Don’t sideline them as they’re walking out the door. Instead, tell them you’d like to discuss something important and then in a non-judgemental way, bring up therapy. Make sure it doesn’t sound like you are accusing them of anything. Rather, you just think that both of you could benefit from some outside support.
Do Your Homework Up Front
Do your homework on marriage counseling up front, especially if it’s going to be a tough sell. You might even consider going ahead and making an appointment and just letting your partner know you’d like them to join you. Research what happens in counseling sessions so you can alleviate any worries they have. Remind them that you aren’t going so that they can be blamed for anything, and the therapist will not choose sides.
Listen to Their Concerns
If you are having trouble convincing a partner to go to marriage counseling, listen to their reasons why. They might not have a lot of confidence in therapy in general. Or perhaps, they’re afraid of letting a stranger know intimate details of your life. They might even be worried that the therapist will choose sides and they will feel ganged up on. Try to reassure them as much as you can while being respectful of their feelings.
If They Still Won’t Go
Finally, if your partner refuses to go to marriage counseling, just go yourself! Even if you are there alone, there is so much a therapist can do to help you. They might give you advice about talking with your spouse or things to try to convince them to come. Perhaps if your spouse sees the improvements you make in your life because of therapy, they’ll be convinced to try a session.
Bringing up marriage counseling can be a difficult conversation for some couples. If you know that it’s going to be a tough sell with your partner, make sure to pick the right moment to bring it up. Have plenty of time and privacy to discuss, and don’t suggest it during a fight or as you’re walking out the door. Do your research upfront so you can let them know what happens during a session and what to expect. Listen to their concerns respectfully and try to alleviate their worries as best as you can. Hopefully, you can convince them to join you, but if not, it’s still worth going on your own. Every person can benefit from counseling. Hopefully, you and your partner will go together and learn to strengthen your marriage.
