Jan 4, 2024 | Co-parenting, Divorce
Taking on sole custody after divorce can be a big adjustment. It can seem overwhelming if you’ve been living together and suddenly are the only guardian. However, it’s important to remember that both you and your children will adjust in time to your new schedule. The most important thing is to get support. Hire a sitter or childcare provider so that you can take breaks sometimes. Listen to your children and their needs. Give yourself some slack and remember that things don’t have to be perfect all the time. It’s okay if the schedule gets a little messy for a few weeks or even months. Your children will bounce back quickly. And finally, have a backup plan in cases of emergency so that you are prepared for anything. Sole custody can seem overwhelming at first, but you will adjust soon enough.
How to Take on Sole Custody: A Big Adjustment
Get Support
The first thing to do when taking on sole custody after divorce is to get support. If you’ve been in a situation where there were two parents and now it’s just you, you’ll need some breaks. Plan to enroll your children in daycare or preschool, even if just part-time. If not, you could hire a nanny or babysitter to give you some breaks during the week. If you have any local family members, maybe they could watch the children now and then to give you a break. It’s important to take time for yourself to preserve your mental health. You can’t take care of your children as well if you’re completely exhausted.
Listen to Your Children
Another thing to remember when taking on sole custody after divorce is to listen to your children. Divorce is stressful for kids too. It’s a big upheaval for their lives as well. They may be emotional or have times when they need to talk to you about their feelings. Be a good listener to them and remember that this adjustment can be hard for them as well. It’s never good to bash your ex in front of your kids. Instead, continually remind them that they are well-loved and that their schedules will seem normal to them soon.
Give Yourself Some Slack
Taking on sole custody after divorce can get overwhelming, and parents can get bogged down easily. Don’t sweat the small stuff for a little while. The adjustment period is not the time to worry about whether your children are getting exactly the right nutrients or going down for naps at the same minute every day. Let them have a little extra screen time. Order takeout if you’re feeling exhausted. Try to remember that kids bounce back quickly from changes to their schedules. It’s ok to let things slide for a few weeks while you adjust to your new schedules.
Make Back-Up Plans
Finally, when taking on sole custody after divorce, make backup plans. You never know when you will get knocked down with a stomach bug or have some emergency come up at work. It’s good to have a solid list of caregivers you can call on if you need help spur of the moment. In addition, while it’s not fun to think about, it’s important to make legal plans as well. Update your will to reflect what will happen with your children if you were to become incapacitated or in an emergency. It’s important to have backup plans in case unpredictable things come up.
Winning sole custody after divorce can be a huge win. However, it does come with its stresses. Suddenly you are the sole caregiver to your children. Enlist some support from helpful friends and family or a babysitting service. Listen to your children to make sure that you are taking care of their emotional needs as well as physical needs. Don’t stress about everything on the schedule being perfect, just get through the adjustment period. And finally, make backup plans in cases of emergency. Sole custody can seem overwhelming, but it’s important to remember that it will seem normal to you in a short time. You and your children will adjust quickly to your new schedules.
Dec 23, 2023 | Divorce, Family Law
Some divorcees never speak to one another again after the divorce is finalized. Other divorcees may be cordial to their exes. However, there are occasional cases where exes actually get back together after their divorce. This could happen over months, or even years, after the split. If the problems in your divorce are reversible, then with some hard work and time, there is a chance you could reconcile with your ex after divorce.
How-to: Reconcile with Your Ex After Divorce: Mending Broken Bonds
Reconciliation
Reconciliation does not always mean that you will remarry your ex. It could also just mean moving towards a friendly relationship and moving past your anger and hurt. While it may take time to reconcile with your ex, it is possible to do. Not everyone wants to live their life feeling bitter and angry for the rest of their lives. It is not uncommon for someone to still even be in love with their ex. Divorce gives people space and distance to really think and envision their lives. They may even be able to see workable solutions to the problems that caused them to split in the first place.
Communication
If you want to reconcile with your ex, first start by trying to increase communication with them. However, do not harass them. Instead, make sure that they want to communicate with you too. Have open, honest communication with them. If you think that your divorce was a mistake, they may also feel the same way.
In the same way that you did when you first started dating, show interested in your ex and the things they are involved in. Talk through the revelations you have made about your relationship, and tell them the things you are doing to work towards making positive changes.
Move Slowly
Remember that there were reasons that you and this person ended up getting divorced in the first place. These issues are not just going to instantly vanish overnight. This is why you should proceed cautiously and carefully. Sure, this could be a new beginning, but you can not forget that you also have a history that needs to be addressed. Carefully consider this, and work towards a resolution together.
It is a good idea to see a counselor or therapist in this situation. You should try and work on the traits, habits, and emotions that may have contributed or led to the marital issues in the first place. Additionally, you should talk to a couples therapist together. This third-party can help determine if it is a good idea for you to get back together. If not, they can also help you come to terms with the divorce as well.
Nov 13, 2023 | Divorce, Family Law
Ending a marriage can come in several different forms. There is a difference between divorce, separation and annulment. They all mean different things. Here are some of their differences.
Ending a Marriage: Divorce, Separation and Annulment
Divorce
A divorce is when a couple goes through the process of legally ending a marriage before either spouse has passed away. There are many different reasons that a couple may choose to get a divorce. Each state may handle the divorce process differently. Once a divorce is finalized, the two people are no longer legally bound to each another. This opens up the ability for either or both people to remarry or enter into a domestic partnership.
Annulment
When someone gets an annulment, it is a way of ending a marriage that states that the marriage is null and void. Annulments are not granted very often. An exception to this is when a court finds that a marriage is not valid. Reasons that could warrant an annulment are duress, fraud, bigamy, or incest. Another reason could be that one party was underage and lacked parental consent. Alternatively, they never lived together, or one spouse was not mentally able to make the decision.
Annulments are not the same as a divorce. If someone does not meet the requirements for an annulment, they will have to file for a divorce. With an annulment, the marriage never happened. On the other hand, a divorce ends a marriage that was legally valid. Just like with a divorce, the parties are legally single. Because of this, the parties are able to get remarry afterwards.
Separation
A separation is not actually a way of ending a marriage directly. A separation occurs when a married couple makes a legal decision to live separate lives. This happens while thinking about or getting ready for divorce. This is not the same as if a couple decides to informally live apart. A separation does not allow for either person to remarry. This is because they are still both legally married.
In some states, the date a couple separated will determine how long they have to wait to get a divorce. Sometimes, couples work through their issues during this period. This can lead to them to get back together. Other times, couples decide to go through with a divorce.
As you can see, divorce, annulment and separation are 3 very different things. With divorce and annulment, the parties become single. On the other hand, separation is just a time period before a possible divorce takes place.
Oct 22, 2023 | Divorce, Family Law
It can be dangerous to get out of a physically abusive relationship. Abusers are often fueled by deep insecurities. When their partner threatens to leave or tries to walk out, it can cause them to snap and escalate their abuse. The first step is to gain the trust of somebody close to you that you can turn to if things are getting out of hand. It’s also important to do research and find where to go but to do it safely. Practice your escape and make sure you have a safe word for a friend if you need help. And finally, know where to go once you leave, like a shelter. Hopefully, you can get out safely and find the help you need to allow you to emotionally heal from your ordeal.
leaving a Physically Abusive Relationship Safely: Get Help
Find Somebody You Can Trust
One thing that can help you get out of a physically abusive relationship is somebody on the outside helping. Find a close friend or neighbor whom you trust completely. You can confide in them about what is going on and ask them if they would be able to help you if you needed it. Make sure and memorize their number in case your abuser has control over your phone. Establish a code word with them to use in case your abuser is attacking, so they know that you need emergency help.
Be Careful About Surveillance
If you are trying to leave a physically abusive relationship, one thing to keep in mind is to be careful about surveillance. Many abusers keep careful tabs on their partners. For example, they might go through your phone or install tracking devices on your car or computer. It is safest to research your escape on somebody else’s phone or computer. Try a local library or borrowing from a friend if you need to look up information about getting away from your abuser.
Practice Your Escape
It’s important to practice your escape from your physically abusive relationship. Know your partner’s schedule so that you might know a time when you’re alone. If you have children, practice with them as well. It’s best to leave when your abuser is away. Trying to confront them and tell them that you’re leaving often can turn dangerous. Memorize how to get to a safe location so that you can get there even if you have to leave your phone or computer behind.
Know Where to Go
Finally, when escaping a physically abusive relationship, know where to go. There are domestic violence shelters that you can find within your community. You can also head straight to the police or hospital to get help. If you are not ready for that you can go to a friend or close family member that you trust. Even if you don’t have a long-term plan of where to stay, that’s ok. The important thing is that you get out safely before the abuse escalates.
The idea of escaping a physically abusive relationship can be quite intimidating. It can often be dangerous as well. Abusers might escalate their violence when their partner tries to leave. Therefore, it’s best to have a plan in mind and prepare yourself in advance. And also to leave when your abuser is not at home. Find somebody you can trust and let them help you with your escape. They can be a haven to go to once you leave. Be careful about using your own devices to do any research. Practice your escape plan and know exactly where you’re going to go once you’re out. There are many support groups and help available for victims of abuse. Hopefully, you can get out safely and find some support so that you can move on from this painful relationship.
Sep 3, 2023 | Divorce, Family Law
Divorce or separation can be an extremely difficult time for most. Granted, there are a select few where the main feeling you will have is relief. But, the majority of people will go through some of the stages of grief. This is quite common and there are plenty of ways to manage it, but in the age of COVID… how can you battle divorce loneliness while also maintaining social distance and safety for yourself and others? In a time when isolation is not only encouraged, but essential, how do you get through this difficult time?
How-to: Battle Divorce Loneliness during Quarantine
Get comfortable in your own spaces and with yourself
While it isn’t ideal that you have to spend all of this time alone with your thoughts, it can be important in facing the sobering reality of your situation and working through it. No matter how much of a distraction you have in normal times, there will still come a point in time where you have to come face to face with how you’re feeling and begin to work through it. So, while this can be a difficulty it can also work to your advantage in battling divorce loneliness and getting more comfortable with time to yourself.
Consider virtual therapy sessions
While facing the music has to come at some point, doing so alone is not always easy, possible, or advisable. That’s where a licensed professional might become essential to you. While in-person therapy sessions might be difficult to come by, virtual therapy sessions are a great option while still maintaining your health and safety. In fact, your insurance likely covers mental health for online or in-person sessions. Divorce loneliness can be crippling, but with the right resources— you will be able to face these difficulties and move forward in the best way possible.
Utilize Facetime, Skype, Zoom or other means of virtual connectivity
Isolation can be difficult for anyone, but you don’t have to be isolated fully. In this day and age, you have options for connecting with the people you love without stepping into their spaces. A video app allows for connecting with your loved ones outside of a phone call or a text message. Furthermore, consider joining some sort of Facebook group. There are plenty of different groups that focus on different things, such as divorce loneliness. Look at options that appeal to you— ones about divorce, single parenting, grieving divorce, or so forth. Find what works for you specifically and talk to people who understand exactly what you’re going through. We wish you a safe and healthy holiday season as you heal through this difficult time.
Aug 28, 2023 | Divorce, Family Law
It is difficult to get a marriage annulment, but there are some situations that allow for it. This is different from a divorce, because it completely cancels the marriage. For example, a divorce declares that a marriage happened and is now over. On the other hand, an annulment declares that the marriage never technically existed and was never valid.
Marriage Annulment: What It Is
Reasons
There are not many reasons someone would be able to go through with a marriage annulment. However, there are several situations that do potentially allow for it. An example would be if one spouse is forced, or coerced, into getting married. Or, if one spouse lied about something that was essential to the marriage. Examples include things such as mental health issues or impotency. Bigamy is when someone gets married while they are already married to someone else. This is another cause for an annulment.
Another reasons would be if one spouse younger than the legal age of marriage. Keep in mind, this is only if they don’t have their parent’s consent. Other examples are incest, mental incompetence and never living together. No cohabitation means that the married couple has never lived together.
Alternative Options
Most people do not qualify for a marriage annulment. If you are not eligible for this, you still have options. If you do not meet the requirements for an annulment, you will have to file for divorce. Before making this decision, you can speak with a lawyer.
Differences by States
Many states have different rules and laws regarding a marriage annulment. States may vary in what they view as a prohibited marriage. They also have different laws about the time limits with annulments. There are websites that have a different laws around annulments and prohibited marriages by state.
Impact
A marriage annulment voids a marriage completely. Thee impact will be different than that of a divorce. This will affect spousal support and the division of assets. After an annulment, you are single and never married. This is unlike divorce, where it leads to someone being single and divorced.
While marriage annulments are rare, some people are able to get one. You should now understand what an annulment is, and what the grounds are for being able to get one. Also, you now know the impact of going through this process.
