Jul 1, 2022 | Co-parenting, Family Law
If you are wondering if you should fight for sole custody after your divorce, a lot depends on the motivations behind it. If you want to fight for custody as a way of retaliating against your ex, it’s probably not the best idea. However, if you have concerns about your ex’s ability to parent, then it might be best to seek sole custody. Think about your children’s schedules as well and what type of custody will give them the most consistency. There can be harmful effects if your children are close to their other parents and suddenly don’t get to see them anymore. But if you have any concerns about their safety, then sole custody might be in their best interest. Hopefully, you and your ex can find the solution that works best for you and your children.
Should I Fight for Sole Custody? When Sole Custody is Appropriate
What’s the Motivation?
The motivation behind wanting to fight for sole custody is an important thing to consider. Divorces can be bitter and long, and create a lot of resentment. If that resentment is the reason you want to seek sole custody, you might want to think again. You need to put aside your feelings and think about what’s in your children’s best interests. No matter how difficult the divorce was, if your ex is a good parent, your children deserve to have them in their lives.
Your Children’s Schedules
A major consideration when deciding if you want to fight for sole custody is your children’s schedules. Kids thrive on consistency. Therefore, the more reliable schedule you can give them the better. You and your ex need to try to work together to keep their wake times, sleep times, mealtimes, and activities as similar as possible. If you don’t think your ex is capable of this, then maybe sole custody is a good idea. For example, if your ex doesn’t have a stable living environment or schedule, then that could be difficult for your kids.
Repercussions
It’s important to think through the decision about whether to fight for sole custody carefully. This is a big deal. There can be harmful effects on children if they are separated from a parent. Especially if they are close with both of their parents. Often, kids start acting out or displaying other behavioral issues when they are going through such big changes. If you do seek sole custody, make sure to get your children the support they need. For example, a child therapist or psychologist.
Safety Concerns
If you have any safety concerns about your children with your ex, then it’s a good idea to fight for sole custody. For example, if there are substance abuse problems or mental illnesses that make them unreliable. Or if their living environment is chaotic or unsafe for children. Sole custody doesn’t just mean the physical custody of children. You will also be the sole decider in all decisions for them, for things like medical questions, schooling, and anything else that comes up. So if you have concerns about your ex’s ability to make those kinds of decisions, then it might be appropriate to seek sole custody.
The decision to fight for sole custody is a big one and one that needs a lot of consideration. If you do win sole custody you will be responsible for making all legal decisions for your children. Make sure that your motivation for seeking sole custody is in the kids’ best interest. Not a way of getting back at your ex. Consider your kids’ schedules when coming up with a plan. And keep in mind that children need consistency in their lives. Think things through carefully as there can be harmful effects of children losing one of their parents. However, if you have safety concerns then it might be in your kids’ best interest to seek sole custody. They need a safe and stable environment. Hopefully, you and your family can find the custody arrangement that suits you best, and your children can adapt quickly.
May 13, 2022 | Co-parenting, Post-divorce life
Preparing for the new school year can be a busy and stressful time. There are so many things to get taken care of before the school year starts. This can be even more complicated if you are having to juggle co-parenting and back-to-school as well. There are some steps that can make this transition smoother.
How-to Juggle Co-parenting and Back-to-School: Smooth Transitions
Shopping
The start of a school year can bring a lot of extra expenses for families. For example, kids will need new clothes, supplies for school, and electronic devices. Neither parent should have to pay for all of the items on their own. This should one of the things you discuss when working through co-parenting and back-to-school things.
Be sure to coordinate who will purchase what, so that it will eliminate unnecessary duplicates. Also, this will help to ensure that your child has everything they need. Be prepared for disagreements about brands, price points, and values. Try to find a common ground wherever possible.
Build a Schedule
During the school year, children need a schedule and consistency. Make sure your children know where they are staying each night. Also, make sure that your children know who will be dropping them off or picking them up. Try to keep this schedule consistent so that your children have structure.
A great tip is to create a digital calendar to share with your ex. This will back co-parenting and back-to-school preparations much smoother. For example, you can put sporting events, school holidays, extracurricular activities, and appointments on the calendar. This will help to eliminate confusion or miscommunications.
Information
Be sure that the school has contact information for both parents. This will help to ensure that both parents get communication from the school, including report cards, handouts, and behavioral updates. This will allow for better communication between parents, children, and the school while navigating co-parenting and back-to-school.
Be Involved
Each parent should try and be as involved as possible in their children’s lives. This is something to really focus on while getting into the co-parenting and back-to-school routines. However, this can be difficult to make time for while juggling work and other living things. Carve out some time to spend time asking them about their day and sit down to help them with their schoolwork. This will show them that you care about them and their success.
In the same way, be sure to attend events at school. A great way to be supportive would be to even show up to events that your ex is at. Examples include school performances, graduations, and functions. You do not have to engage with the other parent if you do not feel comfortable doing so. Just remember that you are there to support your child.
Mar 18, 2022 | Co-parenting, Family Law
The first week of joint custody can be a big change in your life. It can often cause a lot of stress for you, your ex, and your children. However, no matter how different it feels, you will get used to the new schedule eventually. Children are incredibly resilient and will bounce back quickly as well. Talk to your children ahead of time so that they know what the plan is. Keep their schedules as consistent as possible to their old schedule and between you and your ex’s homes. Keep your cool with your ex and try to put your co-parenting relationship first. And finally, expect issues the first week. This is a big adjustment and takes some getting used to. The more flexible you can be, the better. You’ll adjust and get used to your new normal quickly.
The First Week of Joint Custody: Getting Used to the New Normal
Talk to Your Children
The first week of joint custody might be a big upheaval for your children. Therefore, it’s important to prepare them ahead of time. Talk to them about what their schedule will look like for the week. Especially if they’ll be spending a few nights at a new house with your partner. Listen to their concerns and reassure them. For example, make sure that they know how much you love them. And also reassure them that they will adjust to their new schedule quickly.
Keep Schedules the Same
The first week of joint custody is much easier if you can keep some consistency in your children’s schedule. Children thrive on repetition and schedule. Try to keep their schedule as similar to normal as possible. There will be some times when you’ll need to adjust, but try to keep things as close as possible. Also, try to make sure that you and your ex are keeping consistent schedules across your two homes. For example, similar nap times, wake times, and mealtimes.
Keep Your Cool
It’s important to keep your cool with your ex during the first week of joint custody. You will need to work together with them for the rest of your lives, so now’s a great time to start. Be understanding if they need to make changes to the schedule. Hopefully, in return, they’ll be flexible with you if you need to make changes. Never bad-mouth them on social media or with your friends. And of course, never bad-mouth them in front of your children.
Expect Mishaps
During the first week of joint custody, you should plan to have some mishaps. This is a big adjustment and it likely won’t go perfectly smoothly the first week. The more you prepare for things to go wrong, the less stress it will cause. Try to stay as flexible as possible and anticipate some missteps along the way. You’ll work out the kinks soon enough.
The first week of joint custody is a big change in your life and your children’s lives. It can be a scary time for you and them. So try to remember that the stress you feel over the change will be gone soon. You’ll quickly adjust to your new normal. Likewise, your children will adjust quickly to their new schedules. Try to prepare them ahead of time and listen to their concerns. Keep consistency in their schedules as much as is possible. Play nicely with your ex and remember to put your co-parenting relationship first. And of course, try to stay flexible when the inevitable snags happen during the first week. This is a big adjustment for everybody, so there will likely be a few missteps here and there. But everybody will adjust quickly and you’ll be able to begin your new life post-divorce.
Dec 3, 2021 | Adoption, Co-parenting
If you’re wondering how you can help foster parents in your area, there are many various ways to get involved. You don’t necessarily have to become a foster parent yourself. There are ways to be involved from afar. The best thing to do is to educate yourself on how the system works and what families in your area are needing at the moment. Another thing you can do is advocate for foster care and educate others on what it means. You can opt to support a family you know or find a local family. And finally, of course, you can donate to families in need. You can either donate money to local programs or donate goods to families needing things like diapers, clothes, and groceries. Hopefully, you can find a way to be involved that will help your community in a big way.
How You Can Help Foster Parents In Your Area: From Near or Far
Educate Yourself
The first thing to do if you want to help foster parents in your area is to educate yourself. There is so much to know about the foster care system. And many states work differently than others so it’s not one-size-fits-all. However, there is a lot of incorrect information out there about how fostering works. By learning more about how the program works, you can figure out the ways that you can help where it’s needed most.
Advocate
Another thing you can do if you want to help foster parents in your area is to advocate for them. Listen to what parents say they need from the system. They might also suggest changes that would be helpful. Unfortunately, there are a lot of problems with the system. And even more, unfortunately, children who inevitably fall through the cracks. The only way to fix anything is to get enough people to care about it enough to force change from higher up.
Support a Family
A more direct way that you can help if you want to help foster parents in your area is to support a few families. This might mean contributing financially or dedicating time to them. Often it’s the day-to-day things causing stress to foster parents. Things like forgetting to mow the lawn, needing to find time to grab groceries, or needing to coordinate transportation to and from activities. Volunteer to take something off a family’s plate. You can even train to become a respite caregiver, or babysitter to give the parents a break.
Donate
Finally, and probably obviously, if you want to help foster parents in your area, you can donate. Donating money to a local foster care program or family is a direct way to help them support their children. You can also donate items that are in high demand. For example, diapers, clothing, bedding, groceries, or toys. One thing that many foster children appreciate is a suitcase to keep their belongings in, as often they don’t even own one. If you don’t have the financial means to donate, you can always donate your time and volunteer with a local program.
There are many ways you can contribute if you want to help foster parents in your area. But the most important thing is to make sure that you listen to what they say they need. Educate yourself on how the fostering system works in your state. Help advocate for the types of change that parents say they need. You can also support a specific family or families near you by helping them with day-to-day chores or respite care. And finally, you can always donate money, helpful items, or time. There are many ways to volunteer with local foster programs, so just do a quick search in your area. Any bit of help that you can provide goes such a long way in improving the lives of the children and parents involved in foster care.
