Mar 18, 2022 | Co-parenting, Family Law
The first week of joint custody can be a big change in your life. It can often cause a lot of stress for you, your ex, and your children. However, no matter how different it feels, you will get used to the new schedule eventually. Children are incredibly resilient and will bounce back quickly as well. Talk to your children ahead of time so that they know what the plan is. Keep their schedules as consistent as possible to their old schedule and between you and your ex’s homes. Keep your cool with your ex and try to put your co-parenting relationship first. And finally, expect issues the first week. This is a big adjustment and takes some getting used to. The more flexible you can be, the better. You’ll adjust and get used to your new normal quickly.
The First Week of Joint Custody: Getting Used to the New Normal
Talk to Your Children
The first week of joint custody might be a big upheaval for your children. Therefore, it’s important to prepare them ahead of time. Talk to them about what their schedule will look like for the week. Especially if they’ll be spending a few nights at a new house with your partner. Listen to their concerns and reassure them. For example, make sure that they know how much you love them. And also reassure them that they will adjust to their new schedule quickly.
Keep Schedules the Same
The first week of joint custody is much easier if you can keep some consistency in your children’s schedule. Children thrive on repetition and schedule. Try to keep their schedule as similar to normal as possible. There will be some times when you’ll need to adjust, but try to keep things as close as possible. Also, try to make sure that you and your ex are keeping consistent schedules across your two homes. For example, similar nap times, wake times, and mealtimes.
Keep Your Cool
It’s important to keep your cool with your ex during the first week of joint custody. You will need to work together with them for the rest of your lives, so now’s a great time to start. Be understanding if they need to make changes to the schedule. Hopefully, in return, they’ll be flexible with you if you need to make changes. Never bad-mouth them on social media or with your friends. And of course, never bad-mouth them in front of your children.
Expect Mishaps
During the first week of joint custody, you should plan to have some mishaps. This is a big adjustment and it likely won’t go perfectly smoothly the first week. The more you prepare for things to go wrong, the less stress it will cause. Try to stay as flexible as possible and anticipate some missteps along the way. You’ll work out the kinks soon enough.
The first week of joint custody is a big change in your life and your children’s lives. It can be a scary time for you and them. So try to remember that the stress you feel over the change will be gone soon. You’ll quickly adjust to your new normal. Likewise, your children will adjust quickly to their new schedules. Try to prepare them ahead of time and listen to their concerns. Keep consistency in their schedules as much as is possible. Play nicely with your ex and remember to put your co-parenting relationship first. And of course, try to stay flexible when the inevitable snags happen during the first week. This is a big adjustment for everybody, so there will likely be a few missteps here and there. But everybody will adjust quickly and you’ll be able to begin your new life post-divorce.
Jan 28, 2022 | Co-parenting, Family Law
Summertime can bring the stress of figuring out vacations with split custody if you’ve recently been through a divorce. Split custody can be easy to figure out during the school year, but when summer hits, things can get more complicated. It’s important to set rules and expectations about summer vacation plans in your parenting plan in advance. In addition, make sure and set boundaries about what you’re comfortable with. Be flexible and try to be as accommodating as possible. And finally, stay in communication while your children are traveling. Hopefully, you’ll be able to work out an easy agreement where both you and your ex can enjoy some awesome summer vacation time with your children.
Vacations with Split Custody During the Summer: Enjoy Your Holidays
Lay it Out in Parenting Plan
One way to handle vacations with split custody is to lay them out in your broad parenting plan. When you sit down together to divvy up your custody arrangement, you can specify how many days you each get of vacation. For example, you can have language saying that you each get to take a ten-day vacation with the children each summer. Work it out however it fits best with your family’s needs.
Set Boundaries
Another important thing to do when dealing with vacations with split custody is to set boundaries. Make sure that you and your ex are on the same page as each other about where you each are allowed to take the children. Is it ok to leave the country? Or would you rather both stay within driving distance? In addition, set boundaries regarding who can join on the vacation. Can the kids bring a friend? If you are dating somebody, should they join? It’s best to lay all of this out ahead of time so that there isn’t drama or confusion when the time comes to plan trips.
Be Flexible
One thing that can be very helpful when figuring out vacations with split custody is to be flexible. It might sound difficult, especially if your divorce is contentious. However, the more reasonable you are, the more reasonable your partner will be when it’s you asking for extra vacation time. Remember that the key to good co-parenting is to try and be flexible and work together. Also, stop and consider what is best for your kids. You might not want to give up extra time with them. However, if it means cutting a trip short, it might be in their best interest to give up some of your time.
Stay In Communication
Finally, another thing to do when dealing with vacations with split custody is to stay in touch. While you are traveling and when your ex is traveling, have a policy of constant communication with the other parent. You’ll want to make sure that the children are safe. And that you and your ex are on the same page as far as boundaries go. Staying in constant contact will prevent one parent from being calm about things than the other.
Dealing with vacations with split custody can be stress-inducing. The key to preventing arguments is to lay out everything ahead of time. Your parenting plan should have language about vacations spelled out clearly. In addition, make sure that you’ve set clear-cut boundaries with your plan as well. That way you can prevent last-minute questions from coming up. Try to be flexible and accommodating whenever possible. Remember that if you are, it’s more likely that your ex will be too. And finally, stay in communication while vacationing to make sure that you and your ex are on the same page. Hopefully, you’ll be able to figure out vacation plans without any drama and find a summer schedule that works for everybody.
Dec 3, 2021 | Adoption, Co-parenting
If you’re wondering how you can help foster parents in your area, there are many various ways to get involved. You don’t necessarily have to become a foster parent yourself. There are ways to be involved from afar. The best thing to do is to educate yourself on how the system works and what families in your area are needing at the moment. Another thing you can do is advocate for foster care and educate others on what it means. You can opt to support a family you know or find a local family. And finally, of course, you can donate to families in need. You can either donate money to local programs or donate goods to families needing things like diapers, clothes, and groceries. Hopefully, you can find a way to be involved that will help your community in a big way.
How You Can Help Foster Parents In Your Area: From Near or Far
Educate Yourself
The first thing to do if you want to help foster parents in your area is to educate yourself. There is so much to know about the foster care system. And many states work differently than others so it’s not one-size-fits-all. However, there is a lot of incorrect information out there about how fostering works. By learning more about how the program works, you can figure out the ways that you can help where it’s needed most.
Advocate
Another thing you can do if you want to help foster parents in your area is to advocate for them. Listen to what parents say they need from the system. They might also suggest changes that would be helpful. Unfortunately, there are a lot of problems with the system. And even more, unfortunately, children who inevitably fall through the cracks. The only way to fix anything is to get enough people to care about it enough to force change from higher up.
Support a Family
A more direct way that you can help if you want to help foster parents in your area is to support a few families. This might mean contributing financially or dedicating time to them. Often it’s the day-to-day things causing stress to foster parents. Things like forgetting to mow the lawn, needing to find time to grab groceries, or needing to coordinate transportation to and from activities. Volunteer to take something off a family’s plate. You can even train to become a respite caregiver, or babysitter to give the parents a break.
Donate
Finally, and probably obviously, if you want to help foster parents in your area, you can donate. Donating money to a local foster care program or family is a direct way to help them support their children. You can also donate items that are in high demand. For example, diapers, clothing, bedding, groceries, or toys. One thing that many foster children appreciate is a suitcase to keep their belongings in, as often they don’t even own one. If you don’t have the financial means to donate, you can always donate your time and volunteer with a local program.
There are many ways you can contribute if you want to help foster parents in your area. But the most important thing is to make sure that you listen to what they say they need. Educate yourself on how the fostering system works in your state. Help advocate for the types of change that parents say they need. You can also support a specific family or families near you by helping them with day-to-day chores or respite care. And finally, you can always donate money, helpful items, or time. There are many ways to volunteer with local foster programs, so just do a quick search in your area. Any bit of help that you can provide goes such a long way in improving the lives of the children and parents involved in foster care.
