Ending a Marriage: How to Call it Quits

Ending a marriage can come in several different forms. There is a difference between divorce, separation and annulment. They all mean different things. Here are some of their differences.

Ending a Marriage: Divorce, Separation and Annulment

Divorce

A divorce is when a couple goes through the process of legally ending a marriage before either spouse has passed away. There are many different reasons that a couple may choose to get a divorce. Each state may handle the divorce process differently. Once a divorce is finalized, the two people are no longer legally bound to each another. This opens up the ability for either or both people to remarry or enter into a domestic partnership.

Annulment

When someone gets an annulment, it is a way of ending a marriage that states that the marriage is null and void. Annulments are not granted very often. An exception to this is when a court finds that a marriage is not valid. Reasons that could warrant an annulment are duress, fraud, bigamy, or incest. Another reason could be that one party was underage and lacked parental consent. Alternatively, they never lived together, or one spouse was not mentally able to make the decision. 

Annulments are not the same as a divorce. If someone does not meet the requirements for an annulment, they will have to file for a divorce. With an annulment, the marriage never happened. On the other hand, a divorce ends a marriage that was legally valid. Just like with a divorce, the parties are legally single. Because of this, the parties are able to get remarry afterwards. 

Separation 

A separation is not actually a way of ending a marriage directly. A separation occurs when a married couple makes a legal decision to live separate lives. This happens while thinking about or getting ready for divorce. This is not the same as if a couple decides to informally live apart. A separation does not allow for either person to remarry. This is because they are still both legally married. 

In some states, the date a couple separated will determine how long they have to wait to get a divorce. Sometimes, couples work through their issues during this period. This can lead to them to get back together. Other times, couples decide to go through with a divorce. 

As you can see, divorce, annulment and separation are 3 very different things. With divorce and annulment, the parties become single. On the other hand, separation is just a time period before a possible divorce takes place. 

Leaving a Physically Abusive Relationship Safely

It can be dangerous to get out of a physically abusive relationship. Abusers are often fueled by deep insecurities. When their partner threatens to leave or tries to walk out, it can cause them to snap and escalate their abuse. The first step is to gain the trust of somebody close to you that you can turn to if things are getting out of hand. It’s also important to do research and find where to go but to do it safely. Practice your escape and make sure you have a safe word for a friend if you need help. And finally, know where to go once you leave, like a shelter. Hopefully, you can get out safely and find the help you need to allow you to emotionally heal from your ordeal.

leaving a Physically Abusive Relationship Safely: Get Help

Find Somebody You Can Trust

One thing that can help you get out of a physically abusive relationship is somebody on the outside helping. Find a close friend or neighbor whom you trust completely. You can confide in them about what is going on and ask them if they would be able to help you if you needed it. Make sure and memorize their number in case your abuser has control over your phone. Establish a code word with them to use in case your abuser is attacking, so they know that you need emergency help.

Be Careful About Surveillance

If you are trying to leave a physically abusive relationship, one thing to keep in mind is to be careful about surveillance. Many abusers keep careful tabs on their partners. For example, they might go through your phone or install tracking devices on your car or computer. It is safest to research your escape on somebody else’s phone or computer. Try a local library or borrowing from a friend if you need to look up information about getting away from your abuser.

Practice Your Escape

It’s important to practice your escape from your physically abusive relationship. Know your partner’s schedule so that you might know a time when you’re alone. If you have children, practice with them as well. It’s best to leave when your abuser is away. Trying to confront them and tell them that you’re leaving often can turn dangerous. Memorize how to get to a safe location so that you can get there even if you have to leave your phone or computer behind.

Know Where to Go

Finally, when escaping a physically abusive relationship, know where to go. There are domestic violence shelters that you can find within your community. You can also head straight to the police or hospital to get help. If you are not ready for that you can go to a friend or close family member that you trust. Even if you don’t have a long-term plan of where to stay, that’s ok. The important thing is that you get out safely before the abuse escalates.

The idea of escaping a physically abusive relationship can be quite intimidating. It can often be dangerous as well. Abusers might escalate their violence when their partner tries to leave. Therefore, it’s best to have a plan in mind and prepare yourself in advance. And also to leave when your abuser is not at home. Find somebody you can trust and let them help you with your escape. They can be a haven to go to once you leave. Be careful about using your own devices to do any research. Practice your escape plan and know exactly where you’re going to go once you’re out. There are many support groups and help available for victims of abuse. Hopefully, you can get out safely and find some support so that you can move on from this painful relationship.

How-to: Battle Divorce Loneliness in Quarantine

Divorce or separation can be an extremely difficult time for most. Granted, there are a select few where the main feeling you will have is relief. But, the majority of people will go through some of the stages of grief. This is quite common and there are plenty of ways to manage it, but in the age of COVID… how can you battle divorce loneliness while also maintaining social distance and safety for yourself and others? In a time when isolation is not only encouraged, but essential, how do you get through this difficult time? 

How-to: Battle Divorce Loneliness during Quarantine

Get comfortable in your own spaces and with yourself 

While it isn’t ideal that you have to spend all of this time alone with your thoughts, it can be important in facing the sobering reality of your situation and working through it. No matter how much of a distraction you have in normal times, there will still come a point in time where you have to come face to face with how you’re feeling and begin to work through it. So, while this can be a difficulty it can also work to your advantage in battling divorce loneliness and getting more comfortable with time to yourself. 

Consider virtual therapy sessions 

While facing the music has to come at some point, doing so alone is not always easy, possible, or advisable. That’s where a licensed professional might become essential to you. While in-person therapy sessions might be difficult to come by, virtual therapy sessions are a great option while still maintaining your health and safety. In fact, your insurance likely covers mental health for online or in-person sessions. Divorce loneliness can be crippling, but with the right resources— you will be able to face these difficulties and move forward in the best way possible. 

Utilize Facetime, Skype, Zoom or other means of virtual connectivity 

Isolation can be difficult for anyone, but you don’t have to be isolated fully. In this day and age, you have options for connecting with the people you love without stepping into their spaces. A video app allows for connecting with your loved ones outside of a phone call or a text message. Furthermore, consider joining some sort of Facebook group. There are plenty of different groups that focus on different things, such as divorce loneliness. Look at options that appeal to you— ones about divorce, single parenting, grieving divorce, or so forth. Find what works for you specifically and talk to people who understand exactly what you’re going through. We wish you a safe and healthy holiday season as you heal through this difficult time. 

Marriage Annulment: It Never Happened

It is difficult to get a marriage annulment, but there are some situations that allow for it. This is different from a divorce, because it completely cancels the marriage. For example,  a divorce declares that a marriage happened and is now over. On the other hand, an annulment declares that the marriage never technically existed and was never valid.

Marriage Annulment: What It Is

Reasons

There are not many reasons someone would be able to go through with a marriage annulment. However, there are several situations that do potentially allow for it. An example would be if one spouse is forced, or coerced, into getting married. Or, if one spouse lied about something that was essential to the marriage. Examples include things such as mental health issues or impotency. Bigamy is when someone gets married while they are already married to someone else. This is another cause for an annulment. 

Another reasons would be if one spouse younger than the legal age of marriage. Keep in mind, this is only if they don’t have their parent’s consent. Other examples are incest, mental incompetence and never living together. No cohabitation means that the married couple has never lived together.

Alternative Options

Most people do not qualify for a marriage annulment. If you are not eligible for this, you still have options. If you do not meet the requirements for an annulment, you will have to file for divorce. Before making this decision, you can speak with a lawyer. 

Differences by States

Many states have different rules and laws regarding a marriage annulment. States may vary in what they view as a prohibited marriage. They also have different laws about the time limits with annulments. There are websites that have a different laws around annulments and prohibited marriages by state. 

Impact

A marriage annulment voids a marriage completely. Thee impact will be different than that of a divorce. This will affect spousal support and the division of assets. After an annulment, you are single and never married. This is unlike divorce, where it leads to someone being single and divorced. 

While marriage annulments are rare, some people are able to get one. You should now understand what an annulment is, and what the grounds are for being able to get one. Also, you now know the impact of going through this process.

Handling an Estate After the Loss of a Parent

Handling an estate after the loss of a parent can feel overwhelming. And of course, it comes at a time when you are already grieving. If you’re the person that will be the executor of their will, you’ll need to manage the estate process. However, after you’ve dealt with the immediate aftermath of their passing, you can hire an estate attorney to assist you. They’ll help you locate the will of your parents and decide how to proceed from there. Managing the estate can be a lengthy and difficult process, but your attorney will be able to help you manage things.

Dealing with an Estate After the Loss of a Parent: Where Do You Go from Here?

Deal with Immediate Needs

If you’re suddenly handling an estate after the loss of a parent, the first thing you’ll need to do is notifying friends and family members of their passing. You’ll also need to make sure that somebody will take care of their pets if they had any. At least for the time being. Your parents might have instructions in their will regarding their pets. You’ll need to do paperwork with the mortuary or funeral home and then plan their service as well.

Hire an Estate Attorney

After you’ve dealt with the immediate aftermath of losing a parent, you’ll start the next step of handling an estate. The best thing to do is hire a knowledgeable estate or family attorney. They’ll be able to help you organize everything and figure out the exact wishes of your parents. For example, they can help you figure out how to handle assets and debts that your parents might have. An attorney can make the process much less stressful.

Locate the Will

It’s important to locate the will when handling an estate. This is the final wishes of your parents and might include details of how they want you to handle their assets. If somebody dies without making a will, it is referred to as dying intestate. If this is the case the state might decide what happens to their estate. It’s important to make a will so that your family members will know your final wishes when the time comes.

Manage the Estate

After you’ve found the will, the next part of handling an estate is actually managing the estate itself. You’ll need to do an inventory of all the possessions, assets, property, and debts. You might need to pay debts or even liquidate assets. Once all of the debts are paid, then you can distribute assets. The will should guide you on how your parents wanted this to be handled. Your attorney can help you deal with any conflicts that come up at this stage. Finally, after you’ve done all of this, you can close the estate.

Handling an estate after your parent has passed away can feel very stressful. It’s incredibly helpful to have a knowledgeable attorney by your side throughout the entire process. You’ll need to deal with the immediate logistics first like arranging the funeral. However, afterward, you’ll need to find their last will and testament. This will help you decide exactly how to manage their estate. You’ll distribute assets and pay debts, and eventually be able to close the estate. While it can be a difficult time in your life, hopefully, your attorney can assist you with making the process as easy as possible.

Organized Co-Parenting Calendar: How to Make it and Move on

When it comes to co-parenting, scheduling is one of the keys to success. But, that’s not to say it comes easy. Co-parenting successfully is extremely difficult, especially depending on the details of your divorce. But, by creating an organized co-parenting calendar, you can make your lives that much easier. Co-parenting with your ex may feel difficult right now, and it may always seem that way, but putting it all in writing? Makes the plan much easier to deal with.

Organized Co-Parenting Calendar: How to Make it and Move on

Plan Ahead

Think of all those events you want your child there for; Grandma’s birthday, your favorite sport’s game of the year, a school play… Whatever it may be. Think of all these things before you and the other co-parent meet, and put it in writing. Ask the other parent to do the same. You want to essentially have made your part of the schedule before you two ever come together. This should include any engagements you have, as well as the child, such as science fairs, sports games, business trips, travel, or the like. Then, when you come together, you can compare and build a cohesive schedule to both go off of.

organized co-parenting calendar

Don’t Overbook

Another key to an organized co-parenting calendar is to be careful not to overbook. Often times, after going through a divorce, we want to make up for the fact that we are spending less time with our kid. So it’s not uncommon to overcompensate by agreeing to do anything and everything. But overbooking can leave you tired, stretched to the max, and ultimately unreliable. When you overbook yourself, you will at some point have to cancel or miss something. But the last thing you want to do is create a pattern of not fulfilling your parenting responsibilities. So, it’s best to only agree to what you know you will be able to do.

Set a Reminder

No matter how many times you talk about it, or write it in colored ink on the calendar, it’s hard to juggle your schedule. During your marriage, you and your spouse probably maintained a system for the schedule. You knew who was picking who up at what time. And if not, you probably talked throughout the day so that someone always remembered. But since your divorce, these things can be harder to keep up with. Therefore, set a reminder on your phone for those visits or events you planned with your kid. We’d all like to think we’ll remember easily. However, sometimes it’s just plain difficult. So, make a plan, set reminders, and stick to it. As we’ve said, you don’t want to create a pattern of not fulfilling your duties as a parent.

Keep multiple copies and allow for it flex a bit

We can’t account for every little bump in the road. So, take your agreement seriously, print and sign a copy for the each of you, but understand that things will happen. On your end, as well as theirs, there’s always the potential of something that might alter your agreement. Maybe one of you ends up with an illness, wrecks your car, gets a big promotion, or something of the like. Allow for your agreement to move just a bit if that time comes. But, understand that these occurrences should be discussed between both of you.

The key to an organized co-parenting calendar, is collaboration. Co-parenting, as well as planning, is difficult to do. But when you commit, take the time, and prioritize your child, it’s amazing what you can accomplish together.