Wondering If Adoption is Right for You?

If you’ve been wondering if adoption is right for you and your family, you might be trying to figure out all the various factors to consider. There are so many things to think about when looking into adoption. You’ll want to discuss with your partner what age child you’d like to adopt. In addition, you’ll need to consider if you’re wanting to adopt a child with disabilities or siblings. And finally, there are various other considerations to take like your current family situation and the finances of adoption. Hopefully, you’ll be able to decide if this is the best choice for you and your family.

Wondering if Adoption is Right for You? Things to Consider

Age of Child

If you’re wondering if adoption is right for you, one of the first things to consider is the age of a child you’d like to adopt. The adoption process works differently for adopting a newborn versus an older child. If you’re adopting a new baby, you’ll probably match with a birth mom before she delivers. Based on the plan you decide on with her, you may or may not be allowed to be present at the birth. There are many older children who are needing to find forever homes as well. Consider whether adopting an older child might be right for your family.

Disabilities

Another consideration to take when deciding if adoption is right for you and your family is to decide if you’d like to adopt a child with disabilities. There are many children and infants looking for forever homes who have special needs. Some have severe special needs that require a lot of medical attention or expenses. In addition, if the child you adopt is wheelchair-bound, you’ll need to consider how to get them in and around your house and how vehicle transportation will work.

Siblings

Another consideration to take when wondering if adoption is right for you and your family is to think of whether or not you’d like to adopt more than one child. There are many siblings inside the adoption system in the United States. They need to find homes together so that they’ll remain together for their entire lives. You’ll need to consider the financial and emotional support needed to bring more than one child into your family.

Current Familial Status

Finally, one final thing to consider when deciding if adoption is right for you is to take into account your current family situation. Do you already have children? How will they react to a new sibling? This might influence whether or not you adopt a child that will be older than them versus a younger sibling. In addition, you’ll need to consider your financial status and whether you’re prepared for the expenses of adoption and raising another child. And finally, take into account if you have a support system in place to help you with childcare if that’s something you’ll need.

There are so many things to consider when deciding whether adoption is right for you and your family. You and your partner need to be on the same page with all of these considerations. You’ll want to think about whether you’d like to bring home a newborn or an older child. In addition, there are many children in the foster system in America who have disabilities or who need to be adopted with their siblings. And finally, consider the emotional and financial factors involved with bringing home a new child. Once you make your decision, you’ll want to have an attorney help guide you through the process to make it more manageable and stress-free. Adoption might be the perfect way to make your family complete and connect you with a child looking for a forever home with a loving parent like you.

Job Interview Post-Divorce: How To Prepare

Getting back to work after your divorce can be tricky, especially if you haven’t worked in a while. However, once you do land a job interview post-divorce, you may worry about how you can best prepare. There are a few things you’ll want to do in particular that’ll help you get ready…

Job Interview Post-Divorce: Tools For Success

Do your research

One of the best things to do for a job interview post-divorce is some research. Now, you probably already did some when you were applying. Still, you’ll want to go deeper than just what the job description says. This is a good opportunity for you to show that you’re really interested in the position.

 Take this time to really get a good understanding of what the company does, their history, and how they present themselves. You should also look up anything in the job description that you’re unaware of. If you know who’s interviewing you, find out some more about them as well. Every little thing will help!

Practice as much as you can

Odds are you’ve got a lot on your mind coming out of your divorce. However, for a job interview post-divorce, you’ll really want to focus and practice. Trying to remember everything on the spot will make it more likely for you to freeze up and make a bad impression.

Instead, spend as much time practicing beforehand as you can. You don’t want to sound robotic, but you’ll want to have a general answer in mind for their questions. Some common ones include going over your experience, why you want to work with them, your work style, and future goals. Once you know these questions are coming, it’ll be a lot easier to plan your answers.

Be ready to prove yourself

It’s very rare for someone to be perfectly suited for a job. Rather, most people have one or two areas they’re somewhat underqualified in. Companies know this and use the interviewing process as a way to see if you have any familiarity with these areas and if you’re willing to quickly learn them.

 Therefore, as part of your job interview post-divorce, make sure you explain how you can use your past experience to help you at work. The last thing you want to say is that you simply have no experience whatsoever. Rather, they’ll be much more willing to hire you if you can show them how you have some of the necessary skills already.

Re-Building Confidence After a Divorce

Divorce can often leave people questioning their self-esteem. Re-building confidence after a divorce is important so that you can begin to get back to living your best life. You can also have more confidence to grow and begin this new chapter of your life on a positive note. Try to refocus on old hobbies or passions that make you feel happy. Reconnecting with old friends can also boost your confidence. Many people find positive affirmations to be extremely helpful with boosting self-confidence. And finally, reach out and get help from a therapist if you feel like it would be helpful. Divorce can shatter your self-confidence, but it’s important to gain it back so you can focus on the exciting adventures to come.

Re-Building Confidence After a Divorce: Get Your Groove Back

Refocus on Old Hobbies

One way to rebuild confidence after a divorce is to re-focus on old hobbies or passions. Oftentimes, divorce can be extremely time-consuming and stressful. It’s hard to make time for hobbies. Now that your divorce is final, you can try to get back to hobbies you care about. If you’re a talented painter, make time to paint. Or try to find a new hobby like yoga or meditation. Finding things you’re passionate about can really boost your self-confidence as you hone new skills.

Reconnect with Old Friends

Another way to rebuild confidence after a divorce is to reconnect with old friends. You might have lost touch with people in the stress of the divorce process. If that’s the case, take the time now to reach out to them. For example, ask a friend to dinner or for a quick coffee. They can help you process your feelings about the divorce. It’s also confidence-boosting to be around people you care about and who respect you.

Positive Affirmations

Many people find positive affirmations to be very helpful in rebuilding confidence after a divorce. Affirmations are positive statements you say to yourself repeatedly to reprogram your brain to focus on positivity instead of negative self-talk. Many people find it helpful to write them where they’ll be seen frequently. For example, on the bathroom mirror so that they see them each morning as soon as they wake up. It could be something as simple as “I am worth loving.” Conversely, it could be something specific to yourself like “I will name three things I’m grateful for each morning as I brush my teeth.”

Get Help

Re-building confidence after a divorce can be difficult. Sometimes it’s hard to figure it out on your own. Try reaching out to a therapist or counselor. They’ll be able to help you with negative self-talk and self-doubt. They can often recommend ideas for boosting self-confidence. In addition, it can be very helpful just to have another person to vent your feelings to. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a professional for help.

Divorce can be very damaging to your self-confidence. If you’ve realized that you now have lower self-esteem it’s important to re-build confidence after a divorce. Re-focus on old hobbies or passions. Finding things that you’re good at can boost your confidence. Next, re-connect with old friends with who you’ve lost touch. In addition, many people find positive affirmations to be helpful with self-confidence. And finally, get help from a professional. A therapist or counselor is a great resource to use if you’re struggling with low self-esteem. If you can build back your self-confidence after a divorce, you can move on to the next exciting stage of life.

How-to: Reconcile with Your Ex After Divorce

Some divorcees never speak to one another again after the divorce is finalized. Other divorcees may be cordial to their exes. However, there are occasional cases where exes actually get back together after their divorce. This could happen over months, or even years, after the split. If the problems in your divorce are reversible, then with some hard work and time, there is a chance you could reconcile with your ex after divorce.

How-to: Reconcile with Your Ex After Divorce: Mending Broken Bonds

Reconciliation

Reconciliation does not always mean that you will remarry your ex. It could also just mean moving towards a friendly relationship and moving past your anger and hurt. While it may take time to reconcile with your ex, it is possible to do. Not everyone wants to live their life feeling bitter and angry for the rest of their lives. It is not uncommon for someone to still even be in love with their ex. Divorce gives people space and distance to really think and envision their lives. They may even be able to see workable solutions to the problems that caused them to split in the first place.

Communication

If you want to reconcile with your ex, first start by trying to increase communication with them. However, do not harass them. Instead, make sure that they want to communicate with you too. Have open, honest communication with them. If you think that your divorce was a mistake, they may also feel the same way.

In the same way that you did when you first started dating, show interested in your ex and the things they are involved in. Talk through the revelations you have made about your relationship, and tell them the things you are doing to work towards making positive changes.

Move Slowly

Remember that there were reasons that you and this person ended up getting divorced in the first place. These issues are not just going to instantly vanish overnight. This is why you should proceed cautiously and carefully. Sure, this could be a new beginning, but you can not forget that you also have a history that needs to be addressed. Carefully consider this, and work towards a resolution together.

It is a good idea to see a counselor or therapist in this situation. You should try and work on the traits, habits, and emotions that may have contributed or led to the marital issues in the first place. Additionally, you should talk to a couples therapist together. This third-party can help determine if it is a good idea for you to get back together. If not, they can also help you come to terms with the divorce as well.

Ending a Marriage: How to Call it Quits

Ending a marriage can come in several different forms. There is a difference between divorce, separation and annulment. They all mean different things. Here are some of their differences.

Ending a Marriage: Divorce, Separation and Annulment

Divorce

A divorce is when a couple goes through the process of legally ending a marriage before either spouse has passed away. There are many different reasons that a couple may choose to get a divorce. Each state may handle the divorce process differently. Once a divorce is finalized, the two people are no longer legally bound to each another. This opens up the ability for either or both people to remarry or enter into a domestic partnership.

Annulment

When someone gets an annulment, it is a way of ending a marriage that states that the marriage is null and void. Annulments are not granted very often. An exception to this is when a court finds that a marriage is not valid. Reasons that could warrant an annulment are duress, fraud, bigamy, or incest. Another reason could be that one party was underage and lacked parental consent. Alternatively, they never lived together, or one spouse was not mentally able to make the decision. 

Annulments are not the same as a divorce. If someone does not meet the requirements for an annulment, they will have to file for a divorce. With an annulment, the marriage never happened. On the other hand, a divorce ends a marriage that was legally valid. Just like with a divorce, the parties are legally single. Because of this, the parties are able to get remarry afterwards. 

Separation 

A separation is not actually a way of ending a marriage directly. A separation occurs when a married couple makes a legal decision to live separate lives. This happens while thinking about or getting ready for divorce. This is not the same as if a couple decides to informally live apart. A separation does not allow for either person to remarry. This is because they are still both legally married. 

In some states, the date a couple separated will determine how long they have to wait to get a divorce. Sometimes, couples work through their issues during this period. This can lead to them to get back together. Other times, couples decide to go through with a divorce. 

As you can see, divorce, annulment and separation are 3 very different things. With divorce and annulment, the parties become single. On the other hand, separation is just a time period before a possible divorce takes place. 

How-to: Battle Divorce Loneliness in Quarantine

Divorce or separation can be an extremely difficult time for most. Granted, there are a select few where the main feeling you will have is relief. But, the majority of people will go through some of the stages of grief. This is quite common and there are plenty of ways to manage it, but in the age of COVID… how can you battle divorce loneliness while also maintaining social distance and safety for yourself and others? In a time when isolation is not only encouraged, but essential, how do you get through this difficult time? 

How-to: Battle Divorce Loneliness during Quarantine

Get comfortable in your own spaces and with yourself 

While it isn’t ideal that you have to spend all of this time alone with your thoughts, it can be important in facing the sobering reality of your situation and working through it. No matter how much of a distraction you have in normal times, there will still come a point in time where you have to come face to face with how you’re feeling and begin to work through it. So, while this can be a difficulty it can also work to your advantage in battling divorce loneliness and getting more comfortable with time to yourself. 

Consider virtual therapy sessions 

While facing the music has to come at some point, doing so alone is not always easy, possible, or advisable. That’s where a licensed professional might become essential to you. While in-person therapy sessions might be difficult to come by, virtual therapy sessions are a great option while still maintaining your health and safety. In fact, your insurance likely covers mental health for online or in-person sessions. Divorce loneliness can be crippling, but with the right resources— you will be able to face these difficulties and move forward in the best way possible. 

Utilize Facetime, Skype, Zoom or other means of virtual connectivity 

Isolation can be difficult for anyone, but you don’t have to be isolated fully. In this day and age, you have options for connecting with the people you love without stepping into their spaces. A video app allows for connecting with your loved ones outside of a phone call or a text message. Furthermore, consider joining some sort of Facebook group. There are plenty of different groups that focus on different things, such as divorce loneliness. Look at options that appeal to you— ones about divorce, single parenting, grieving divorce, or so forth. Find what works for you specifically and talk to people who understand exactly what you’re going through. We wish you a safe and healthy holiday season as you heal through this difficult time.