Deciding How to Divide Assets When Estate Planning

Deciding how to divide assets when estate planning can be a stressful decision to make, and it’s helpful to enlist the help of an experienced attorney to help you navigate this process. Parents often want to leave their heirs equal amounts of money or assets, but there are some situations in which this might not be the best option. However, in most cases, estates are divided equally by branches of the family or by heads of the family in a per stirpes or per capita division. You can also combine both of these and divide things per capita by generation. Your goal is to pass along your estate in a way that will make each heir feel seen and supported, without causing conflict within your family. So speaking with an estate attorney can help you ensure that you are making the decisions that will cause the least upset. They can also help you navigate other aspects of estate planning so that you can feel rest assured that you have things set in place the way you want for the future.

Deciding How to Divide Assets When Estate Planning: Divide Your Wealth, Not Your Family

To Divide Equally or Not

Most people want to divide assets when estate planning into equal shares for their children and heirs. However, there are some special circumstances where this might not be advisable. For example, if one child has significant ongoing medical needs or special needs, parents might want to establish a trust that can ensure they receive the funds for ongoing treatment. Another example would be if some children have roles in a family business while others do not. Dividing assets based on children’s financial success isn’t usually advisable because it can end up making those that earn more feel penalized.

Per Stirpes

One way to divide assets when estate planning it to use a per stirpes approach. This means that your estate will be divided equally among each branch of the family (per stirpes is Latin for “per branch”) when you pass away. In this situation, if an heir, or child, should pass away before their parents, the estate would pass in equal shares to their heirs, who are the grandchildren, instead.

Per Capita

Another way to divide assets when estate planning is to split things up per capita. This means “divided by heads.” In this approach, each heir is given an equal share. In this situation, if a child died before their parent, their heirs or children (the grandchildren of the deceased) would receive the same amount of inheritance as their aunts and uncles. In some situations, this can create conflict because heirs might not feel that it’s fair that their nieces and nephews inherit the same amount.

Per Capita By Generation

To avoid the conflict of a per capita approach, some opt to combine the two approaches in a per capita by generation scenario. In this approach, the direct heirs (second generation, or children of the deceased) would receive what was promised to them. Their heirs (the third generation or grandchildren of the deceased) would then receive an equal share of the portion that would have gone to the entire third generation, no matter their connection to the direct heirs (second generation).

Figuring out how to fairly divide assets when estate planning can be a source of stress for many families. If you are hesitant about the decisions you are making, it can be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your children about your intentions. There are some situations in which it makes more sense for one child to inherit more than another, but it’s often helpful to explain this. For example, if one child requires financial help for special needs or if they have a piece of a family business. In most other situations, families choose to equally divide their estate via a per stirpes or per capita arrangement, or by combining them in a per capita by generation system. Figuring out estate planning can be very overwhelming, so an experienced family attorney can help you navigate this intricate

How-to Bond with Stepchildren: Blended Families

Being a stepparent can be both rewarding and tricky. As a new stepparent, you are going to want to create a bond with your new stepchildren. Do not be surprised if it takes a new stepchild a while to warm up to you. At the same time, do not let this slow warming-up period think it will never get better. Keep working at it, and things will turn around. It will just take some time and some patience as they adjust to this changing dynamic.

How-to Bond with Stepchildren: Relationship Building

Spend Quality Time Together

As with any relationship, you have to spend time together to form a bond with stepchildren. Plan to do fun, special things with your stepchildren. Start by asking them what types of activities they like to do. By doing something that they already enjoy, they may have a more positive experience. Make sure you are spending good, quality time with them and that you are actually engaging. For example, sitting in the corner, distracted, on the phone will not show the kids that you want to interact with them. If you try to make these fun activities a routine, your stepchildren will start looking forward to spending time with you. 

Understand Their Frustrations

Do your best to be patient with your stepchildren and understand their frustrations. For instance, you should listen to them, and hear what they have to say. Just as it took time for you to adjust to a new relationship, it will take the kid’s time as well. Also, keep in mind that you were able to choose your new partner. Remember that they did not have as much say in the situation. They will likely express their frustration at that at some points as you build your bond with stepchildren.

Get Involved in Their Life

Do things that show your stepchildren that you care about them. Go to their game, play, recital, or another event they are involved in. For instance, ask them questions, and make sure to seem genuinely interested. Try and learn about the things that they participate in. Show interest in them and what they care about. Do your best to be supportive of them as well. One tip would be to offer to drive them to their practice or activity. This would show you care about something they are a part of and also will give you some good one-on-one time with them.

Treat Them Like Your Own Kids

If you make your stepchildren feel like they’re just an extra thing you have to carry around, they will start to resent you. Keep in mind that these kids have just gone through some big changes, and likely just had some sad experiences. For example, try introducing them as your kids, instead of step kids, so that they feel included. You definitely do not want them to feel like they are not really part of the family. Additionally, that includes not showing favoritism towards any biological kids you may have. The best way to do this is by treating them as if they were your own kids. 

At the same time, do not try to replace their actual parents. Your role is not to replace their mom or dad, but to be a stepparent. Your role is special and does not have to compete with their biological parents. Also, be candid with your stepchildren and tell them that this is all new for you too.

Although it may feel like it is taking a while, do not give up. Just make sure you are showing interest in your stepchildren and their lives, being patient and understanding, and treating them as one of your own. Over time, these steps will help you form a strong bond between yourself and your stepchildren. 

Marriage Annulment: It Never Happened

It is difficult to get a marriage annulment, but there are some situations that allow for it. This is different from a divorce, because it completely cancels the marriage. For example,  a divorce declares that a marriage happened and is now over. On the other hand, an annulment declares that the marriage never technically existed and was never valid.

Marriage Annulment: What It Is

Reasons

There are not many reasons someone would be able to go through with a marriage annulment. However, there are several situations that do potentially allow for it. An example would be if one spouse is forced, or coerced, into getting married. Or, if one spouse lied about something that was essential to the marriage. Examples include things such as mental health issues or impotency. Bigamy is when someone gets married while they are already married to someone else. This is another cause for an annulment. 

Another reasons would be if one spouse younger than the legal age of marriage. Keep in mind, this is only if they don’t have their parent’s consent. Other examples are incest, mental incompetence and never living together. No cohabitation means that the married couple has never lived together.

Alternative Options

Most people do not qualify for a marriage annulment. If you are not eligible for this, you still have options. If you do not meet the requirements for an annulment, you will have to file for divorce. Before making this decision, you can speak with a lawyer. 

Differences by States

Many states have different rules and laws regarding a marriage annulment. States may vary in what they view as a prohibited marriage. They also have different laws about the time limits with annulments. There are websites that have a different laws around annulments and prohibited marriages by state. 

Impact

A marriage annulment voids a marriage completely. Thee impact will be different than that of a divorce. This will affect spousal support and the division of assets. After an annulment, you are single and never married. This is unlike divorce, where it leads to someone being single and divorced. 

While marriage annulments are rare, some people are able to get one. You should now understand what an annulment is, and what the grounds are for being able to get one. Also, you now know the impact of going through this process.

Leaving a Physically Abusive Relationship Safely

It can be dangerous to get out of a physically abusive relationship. Abusers are often fueled by deep insecurities. When their partner threatens to leave or tries to walk out, it can cause them to snap and escalate their abuse. The first step is to gain the trust of somebody close to you that you can turn to if things are getting out of hand. It’s also important to do research and find where to go but to do it safely. Practice your escape and make sure you have a safe word for a friend if you need help. And finally, know where to go once you leave, like a shelter. Hopefully, you can get out safely and find the help you need to allow you to emotionally heal from your ordeal.

leaving a Physically Abusive Relationship Safely: Get Help

Find Somebody You Can Trust

One thing that can help you get out of a physically abusive relationship is somebody on the outside helping. Find a close friend or neighbor whom you trust completely. You can confide in them about what is going on and ask them if they would be able to help you if you needed it. Make sure and memorize their number in case your abuser has control over your phone. Establish a code word with them to use in case your abuser is attacking, so they know that you need emergency help.

Be Careful About Surveillance

If you are trying to leave a physically abusive relationship, one thing to keep in mind is to be careful about surveillance. Many abusers keep careful tabs on their partners. For example, they might go through your phone or install tracking devices on your car or computer. It is safest to research your escape on somebody else’s phone or computer. Try a local library or borrowing from a friend if you need to look up information about getting away from your abuser.

Practice Your Escape

It’s important to practice your escape from your physically abusive relationship. Know your partner’s schedule so that you might know a time when you’re alone. If you have children, practice with them as well. It’s best to leave when your abuser is away. Trying to confront them and tell them that you’re leaving often can turn dangerous. Memorize how to get to a safe location so that you can get there even if you have to leave your phone or computer behind.

Know Where to Go

Finally, when escaping a physically abusive relationship, know where to go. There are domestic violence shelters that you can find within your community. You can also head straight to the police or hospital to get help. If you are not ready for that you can go to a friend or close family member that you trust. Even if you don’t have a long-term plan of where to stay, that’s ok. The important thing is that you get out safely before the abuse escalates.

The idea of escaping a physically abusive relationship can be quite intimidating. It can often be dangerous as well. Abusers might escalate their violence when their partner tries to leave. Therefore, it’s best to have a plan in mind and prepare yourself in advance. And also to leave when your abuser is not at home. Find somebody you can trust and let them help you with your escape. They can be a haven to go to once you leave. Be careful about using your own devices to do any research. Practice your escape plan and know exactly where you’re going to go once you’re out. There are many support groups and help available for victims of abuse. Hopefully, you can get out safely and find some support so that you can move on from this painful relationship.

Vacations with Split Custody During the Summer

Summertime can bring the stress of figuring out vacations with split custody if you’ve recently been through a divorce. Split custody can be easy to figure out during the school year, but when summer hits, things can get more complicated. It’s important to set rules and expectations about summer vacation plans in your parenting plan in advance. In addition, make sure and set boundaries about what you’re comfortable with. Be flexible and try to be as accommodating as possible. And finally, stay in communication while your children are traveling. Hopefully, you’ll be able to work out an easy agreement where both you and your ex can enjoy some awesome summer vacation time with your children.

Vacations with Split Custody During the Summer: Enjoy Your Holidays

Lay it Out in Parenting Plan

One way to handle vacations with split custody is to lay them out in your broad parenting plan. When you sit down together to divvy up your custody arrangement, you can specify how many days you each get of vacation. For example, you can have language saying that you each get to take a ten-day vacation with the children each summer. Work it out however it fits best with your family’s needs.

Set Boundaries

Another important thing to do when dealing with vacations with split custody is to set boundaries. Make sure that you and your ex are on the same page as each other about where you each are allowed to take the children. Is it ok to leave the country? Or would you rather both stay within driving distance? In addition, set boundaries regarding who can join on the vacation. Can the kids bring a friend? If you are dating somebody, should they join? It’s best to lay all of this out ahead of time so that there isn’t drama or confusion when the time comes to plan trips.

Be Flexible

One thing that can be very helpful when figuring out vacations with split custody is to be flexible. It might sound difficult, especially if your divorce is contentious. However, the more reasonable you are, the more reasonable your partner will be when it’s you asking for extra vacation time. Remember that the key to good co-parenting is to try and be flexible and work together. Also, stop and consider what is best for your kids. You might not want to give up extra time with them. However, if it means cutting a trip short, it might be in their best interest to give up some of your time.

Stay In Communication

Finally, another thing to do when dealing with vacations with split custody is to stay in touch. While you are traveling and when your ex is traveling, have a policy of constant communication with the other parent. You’ll want to make sure that the children are safe. And that you and your ex are on the same page as far as boundaries go. Staying in constant contact will prevent one parent from being calm about things than the other.

Dealing with vacations with split custody can be stress-inducing. The key to preventing arguments is to lay out everything ahead of time. Your parenting plan should have language about vacations spelled out clearly. In addition, make sure that you’ve set clear-cut boundaries with your plan as well. That way you can prevent last-minute questions from coming up. Try to be flexible and accommodating whenever possible. Remember that if you are, it’s more likely that your ex will be too. And finally, stay in communication while vacationing to make sure that you and your ex are on the same page. Hopefully, you’ll be able to figure out vacation plans without any drama and find a summer schedule that works for everybody.

When is it Time for Marriage Counseling?

If you are considering whether or not it’s time for marriage counseling, then it probably is! A little guidance can help even the most healthy relationship. But it’s especially important if you find yourself struggling to connect with your partner. For example, if you are having communication issues. In addition, if there is broken trust within the marriage or an affair, a counselor can help you deal with it. If the intimacy in your marriage has dropped off or changed, it’s not a bad idea to seek help. And finally, even if your relationship is perfect, it’s always a good idea to check in with a counselor periodically. Hopefully, you’ll be able to sort out any issues you are your partner are having and build a much stronger relationship.

When is it Time for Marriage Counseling? How to Know When You Need Help

You Have Trouble Communicating

One reason why it might be time for marriage counseling is if you are struggling to communicate. If it feels like you and your partner are often not on the same page, it might be time to get help. A marriage counselor can help you find ways of communicating with each other effectively. There are many different ways of communicating, and your partner will likely respond better to some than others. A counselor can help you identify these.

Broken Trust

Another reason it might be time for marriage counseling is if there is a lack of trust in the relationship. For example, if one of you has had an affair. This can be incredibly painful to deal with. A therapist can help you sort out your feelings and communicate with your partner about the affair.

Lack of Intimacy

Lack of intimacy might be another thing that lets you know it’s time for marriage counseling. If your sex life has changed recently or dropped off completely, it can be a sign that there is something amiss in your relationship. It might not necessarily be a dire warning, but it might be a sign that your partner is dealing with some new emotions. A counselor can help bring these to light in a way where you can talk about them together.

Things are Great

Finally, it might be time for marriage counseling…if things are going great! Marriage counseling doesn’t necessarily mean there is anything wrong with your relationship. Counseling can help you learn to have difficult conversations more easily with each other. It can also help you identify areas where you might be able to improve your relationship. Seeing a therapist can help you prepare for any bumps that come along.

Many different things can signal that it’s time for marriage counseling. Any major changes in your relationship are a great reason to seek some outside help. If you are having trouble communicating with your partner, or feel you’re not on the same page, it might be time. In addition, if the trust has been broken, a counselor can help you sort out your feelings. A lack of intimacy or change in your sex life can be a great time to check in with a counselor. And finally, even if things are going great, seeing a marriage therapist is always helpful. They can help you learn to communicate better so that you’re prepared to handle anything that comes your way. Hopefully, you’ll be able to get the help you need to make your marriage as strong as possible.