Apr 13, 2025 | Co-parenting, Family Law
Summertime can bring the stress of figuring out vacations with split custody if you’ve recently been through a divorce. Split custody can be easy to figure out during the school year, but when summer hits, things can get more complicated. It’s important to set rules and expectations about summer vacation plans in your parenting plan in advance. In addition, make sure and set boundaries about what you’re comfortable with. Be flexible and try to be as accommodating as possible. And finally, stay in communication while your children are traveling. Hopefully, you’ll be able to work out an easy agreement where both you and your ex can enjoy some awesome summer vacation time with your children.
Vacations with Split Custody During the Summer: Enjoy Your Holidays
Lay it Out in Parenting Plan
One way to handle vacations with split custody is to lay them out in your broad parenting plan. When you sit down together to divvy up your custody arrangement, you can specify how many days you each get of vacation. For example, you can have language saying that you each get to take a ten-day vacation with the children each summer. Work it out however it fits best with your family’s needs.
Set Boundaries
Another important thing to do when dealing with vacations with split custody is to set boundaries. Make sure that you and your ex are on the same page as each other about where you each are allowed to take the children. Is it ok to leave the country? Or would you rather both stay within driving distance? In addition, set boundaries regarding who can join on the vacation. Can the kids bring a friend? If you are dating somebody, should they join? It’s best to lay all of this out ahead of time so that there isn’t drama or confusion when the time comes to plan trips.
Be Flexible
One thing that can be very helpful when figuring out vacations with split custody is to be flexible. It might sound difficult, especially if your divorce is contentious. However, the more reasonable you are, the more reasonable your partner will be when it’s you asking for extra vacation time. Remember that the key to good co-parenting is to try and be flexible and work together. Also, stop and consider what is best for your kids. You might not want to give up extra time with them. However, if it means cutting a trip short, it might be in their best interest to give up some of your time.
Stay In Communication
Finally, another thing to do when dealing with vacations with split custody is to stay in touch. While you are traveling and when your ex is traveling, have a policy of constant communication with the other parent. You’ll want to make sure that the children are safe. And that you and your ex are on the same page as far as boundaries go. Staying in constant contact will prevent one parent from being calm about things than the other.
Dealing with vacations with split custody can be stress-inducing. The key to preventing arguments is to lay out everything ahead of time. Your parenting plan should have language about vacations spelled out clearly. In addition, make sure that you’ve set clear-cut boundaries with your plan as well. That way you can prevent last-minute questions from coming up. Try to be flexible and accommodating whenever possible. Remember that if you are, it’s more likely that your ex will be too. And finally, stay in communication while vacationing to make sure that you and your ex are on the same page. Hopefully, you’ll be able to figure out vacation plans without any drama and find a summer schedule that works for everybody.
Apr 6, 2025 | Divorce, Family Law
If you are considering whether or not it’s time for marriage counseling, then it probably is! A little guidance can help even the most healthy relationship. But it’s especially important if you find yourself struggling to connect with your partner. For example, if you are having communication issues. In addition, if there is broken trust within the marriage or an affair, a counselor can help you deal with it. If the intimacy in your marriage has dropped off or changed, it’s not a bad idea to seek help. And finally, even if your relationship is perfect, it’s always a good idea to check in with a counselor periodically. Hopefully, you’ll be able to sort out any issues you are your partner are having and build a much stronger relationship.
When is it Time for Marriage Counseling? How to Know When You Need Help
You Have Trouble Communicating
One reason why it might be time for marriage counseling is if you are struggling to communicate. If it feels like you and your partner are often not on the same page, it might be time to get help. A marriage counselor can help you find ways of communicating with each other effectively. There are many different ways of communicating, and your partner will likely respond better to some than others. A counselor can help you identify these.
Broken Trust
Another reason it might be time for marriage counseling is if there is a lack of trust in the relationship. For example, if one of you has had an affair. This can be incredibly painful to deal with. A therapist can help you sort out your feelings and communicate with your partner about the affair.
Lack of Intimacy
Lack of intimacy might be another thing that lets you know it’s time for marriage counseling. If your sex life has changed recently or dropped off completely, it can be a sign that there is something amiss in your relationship. It might not necessarily be a dire warning, but it might be a sign that your partner is dealing with some new emotions. A counselor can help bring these to light in a way where you can talk about them together.
Things are Great
Finally, it might be time for marriage counseling…if things are going great! Marriage counseling doesn’t necessarily mean there is anything wrong with your relationship. Counseling can help you learn to have difficult conversations more easily with each other. It can also help you identify areas where you might be able to improve your relationship. Seeing a therapist can help you prepare for any bumps that come along.
Many different things can signal that it’s time for marriage counseling. Any major changes in your relationship are a great reason to seek some outside help. If you are having trouble communicating with your partner, or feel you’re not on the same page, it might be time. In addition, if the trust has been broken, a counselor can help you sort out your feelings. A lack of intimacy or change in your sex life can be a great time to check in with a counselor. And finally, even if things are going great, seeing a marriage therapist is always helpful. They can help you learn to communicate better so that you’re prepared to handle anything that comes your way. Hopefully, you’ll be able to get the help you need to make your marriage as strong as possible.
Mar 29, 2025 | Divorce, Family Law
When you’re in a marriage, it can become a large part of your identity. As a result, a divorce can make you question who you really are. Discovering your new post-divorce identity can be tricky. However, there are some ways you can make it easier…
Post-Divorce Identity: Find the New You
Viewing divorce
In order to create your new post-divorce identity, you should first consider how you view the divorce itself. For many people, they see their marriage as a sign of success. Over time, their marriage becomes a very important part of who they are. A divorce is drastically changing what they see as a key part of who they are.
Usually, this will make them feel like they are a failure. They believe that they failed in their role as a spouse, rather than accepting that sometime relationships of all types don’t work out. This also tends to come with a massive sense of loss. If you find yourself feeling this way, then it’s key to make some changes.
Don’t let divorce define you
It’s important that you don’t let your divorce define your post-divorce identity. The end of a marriage doesn’t mean you can’t experience new, great things in the future. Instead, you have to keep in mind that a divorce is just one small hurdle in the grand scheme of life.
You should also remember that while a divorce can be rough, it doesn’t always properly represent the people involved. You and your spouse can be great people who just had a relationship which didn’t work out. The thing is, there’s nothing wrong with that, and you don’t have to let it define you!
Looking to the future
Your should focus your post-divorce identity on what you want to do in the future. It’s good to take some time and reflect on what you really enjoy doing. Start small by thinking about stuff like hobbies or interests that you neglected while married. These can serve to be some inspiration for what you’d like to do down the line.
Also, consider the lessons your marriage and divorce have taught you. Taking away those important lessons will help you immensely in the future. That way, you can begin to do some strong self-improvement, and really become the person you want to be.
Nov 19, 2024 | Family Law, Marriage
Newborns are hard no matter what, but welcoming a baby with your marriage on the rocks already can add even more strain to your relationship. You’ll likely be operating with very little sleep and a whole lot more responsibility. So even the strongest of marriages can be shaken to their core by the arrival of a new baby. If you’re already having some issues, it can help to try to identify the root of the issue. Counseling can be helpful with this and in resolving conflicts in the future. Enlist help and get support wherever you can find it. Finally, remember to always put your baby first. Sometimes, that means getting a divorce if things are not working out. Try to give yourself some grace, and remember that your children will be perfectly healthy and happy as long as you and your spouse can co-parent peacefully.
Welcoming a Baby with Your Marriage on the Rocks: Navigating an Already Stressful Situation with No Sleep
Get to the Root of the Issues
When welcoming a baby with your marriage on the rocks, it can be helpful to try to get to the root of your issues. Figuring out where the source of the tension is in your relationship can help you navigate through it. That way, you can avoid overly stressful topics or situations that are likely to lead to arguments. At least while you survive the infant stage.
Counseling
Counseling can be hugely helpful when welcoming a baby with your marriage on the rocks. It can be hard to get out of the house, but many counselors offer virtual visits now. And finding time before the baby comes can help you figure out where the stress in your relationship is coming from. They can help you improve your communication, set expectations for one another, and healthily navigate conflict.
Enlist Help
Babies are difficult, there’s no getting around it. Enlist help and support wherever you possibly can. For example, if friends or family want to visit the baby, take the time to sneak away for a few minutes to yourself. If people offer help, take them up on it. You can also hire out whatever chores you can for the time being so that you can maximize your time with the baby without having other obligations on your mind. Think about outsourcing things like laundry, cooking, house-cleaning, dog-walking, or yard work.
Put the Baby First
Finally, sometimes it’s okay to admit your relationship isn’t working out. And welcoming a baby with your marriage on the rocks might be just the thing to truly show you that things are not going to work out. Try to remind yourself that your children will be happier with two parents who can co-parent than with parents who fight all the time. Sometimes divorce is truly the best thing for the entire family.
Welcoming a baby with your marriage on the rocks is not ideal. Going through the early newborn stages can test any relationship, so if you’re already starting at a tense place, it can exacerbate the problems. Try to get to the root of your issues to see if there’s anything that you can do before the baby arrives to smooth the waters. Speaking with a couples counselor can be very helpful for figuring out the root of your issues, and ways to navigate them. Additionally, hiring out anything you can is helpful. Try to outsource chores and other responsibilities so that you aren’t stressed about getting them done while taking care of a baby. And finally, sometimes you just have to accept that a relationship is not healthy, no matter how much you’d like to make it work. An amicable divorce can be the best solution and can wind up being the healthier alternative for everybody in the family.
Nov 12, 2024 | Co-parenting, Family Law
Surviving the early parenting years is a feat in itself, but keeping your marriage strong during those years is even harder. This can be a particularly stressful time for any couple. Not only are you dealing with new anxieties and fears, but also huge learning curves. And doing it all while sleep-deprived. It’s enough to push any couple to the edge. So try to give your marriage a little extra TLC during these years by communicating clearly and openly with one another. Share equally in working, parenting, and divvying up the mental load. Accept help when it’s offered, and hire help when you need a break. Finally, find small pockets of time each day to dedicate to one another so that you can maintain some intimacy. Hopefully, you can navigate this tricky period and come out stronger than ever as your children get older.
Surviving the Early Parenting Years with Your Marriage Intact: Making Time for Each Other
Communicate Clearly
Set yourselves up for success in surviving the early parenting years by establishing clear and constant communication. Check-in with one another about your needs as well as any stresses that you’re feeling. Try to work together to come up with creative solutions to one another’s concerns. Don’t let resentment or tension build up in your relationship until one of you explodes anger at the other.
Share Equally
Another thing that can be helpful during the early parenting years is to make sure that you’re both sharing equally in your childcare as well as household responsibilities. Additionally, there is a significant mental load that goes along with parenting. Anything from figuring out when to potty train, to making doctor appointments, to researching the right stroller. A significant portion of this mental load tends to fall on mothers, but it’s time for other caregivers to step up and start taking on tasks like these. This can only happen through clear communication.
Accept or Hire Help
If you get offers of help during the early parenting years, take them! If friends and family ask if you need anything, be honest and give them a task that they can complete. For example, see if they’re willing to drop off a meal, take the dog for a walk, or hold the baby while you shower. Furthermore, now is a great time to hire help if you are financially able to do so. Hire a babysitter for a night out if you don’t have anybody who can watch your children, or hire things like lawn care or laundry service to free up more of your precious time.
Dedicate Time for Yourselves
To help your marriage survive the early parenting years, you’ll need to make a conscious effort to make time for one another. It’s easy to get completely wrapped up in the stress of work and parenting. However, your marriage deserves some attention too. Find small pockets during your day to check in with one another, or hire a sitter to get some alone time. Carve out time and put it on your calendar, and then hold that time sacred for each other.
Getting through the early parenting years can often either strengthen a couple’s marriage or push it to the brink of disaster. Young children are difficult to manage, they constantly need attention, and they can be completely exhausting. They can leave you with very little energy for your spouse. However, learning to share the load of parenting can help you navigate this difficult time a little easier. And that starts with clear and open communication. Try to divvy up your household tasks as well as all of the unseen tasks of parenting. Speaking to a therapist can be helpful when trying to improve your communication skills. Furthermore, accept offers of help, or hire help if you can. Finally, set time aside for one another and hold that time sacred. Hopefully, by putting in the effort now, you and your spouse will have an incredibly strong marriage that can withstand any challenges that come your way.
Aug 18, 2024 | Co-parenting, Family Law
Writing a parenting plan is very important when figuring out how your joint custody situation will work. It’s important to include things like your basic schedule. In addition, make sure to include things like holidays and vacations. Times when the schedule will be interrupted. You’ll also lay out a plan for expenses and how to pay for childcare. And finally, include how you’ll make big decisions. Consider things like what religion your children will be brought up in, curfew, diet, healthcare, school decisions, etc. You’ll need a plan in place so that you and your partner are on the same page with all major parenting decisions. Having a parenting plan in place will make your divorce much smoother and will help your children adjust to their new lives.
Writing a Parenting Plan: What to Include in Your Discussions
Schedule
One thing that’s important to include when writing a parenting plan is a basic schedule. This should involve how many days each parent has the children in a row, and what the schedule looks like. Include things like when and where you’ll transfer kids from one parent to another. Oftentimes, families use school as a way of transferring kids. For example, one parent drops them off and another picks them up. Remember that your plan can change as your children age.
Holidays and Vacations
In addition to the regular custody schedule, you should consider holidays and vacations when writing a parenting plan. These are times when the normal schedule might get interrupted. Decide how you’ll handle major holidays. Some parents choose to split them up throughout the year or switch years when each parent has the kids. Remember that when you go on vacation, you might need extra days. Don’t forget holidays like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day where you will most likely want to spend time with your children.
Expenses
Next, when writing a parenting plan, make sure to include a financial plan. You and your ex should decide on how you’ll be paying for childcare expenses. Include things like daycare, school supplies, and saving for college. You should include how you’ll handle any unexpected expenses that come up. For example, large medical bills. Try to factor in everyday expenses as well as larger expenses. Even though you don’t have to buy new sizes of clothes every day, the cost can still add up once or twice a year.
Important Decisions
Finally, one last thing to include when writing a parenting plan is how you’ll handle big decisions. You may want to go ahead and lay some ground rules as far as what your children’s futures will look like. Consider things like what religion you want to raise them in. What schools would you like them to attend? How will you each discipline and set boundaries for them? Don’t forget about things like curfew, diet, activities, and hobbies, and seeing friends and family.
Writing a parenting plan is important for figuring out how your life will look post-divorce. Make sure and include a basic schedule for custody as well as specifics for holidays and vacations. Include a financial plan for how you and your ex will pay for child-related expenses moving forward. And don’t forget about establishing ground rules for important decisions in the future. Creating a comprehensive parenting plan will help you in the future if any issues come up. It can also make the transition easier for your children when they go from living in one household with both parents to a split custody situation.
