Birthday Parties with Shared Custody

Birthday parties with shared custody can be a little tricky to navigate. Everybody wants their children’s birthday to be extra special. So when you have to split your time with your kids, it can be hard to know the best way to handle their birthdays. Some people choose to work together to throw a joint birthday party. Others split up the day half and a half so that one parent sees the birthday kid in the morning, and the other gets them at night. A yet others simply throw two different birthdays! A lot depends on the relationship you have with your co-parent, finances, and your locations. But the most important thing is that you and your ex put aside your feelings and tension so that your child can have the most special birthday possible.

Birthday Parties with Shared Custody: Figuring Out Your Schedule

Share the Day

Birthday parties with shared custody can be complicated, so there are lots of ways to handle them. If you and your ex get along reasonably well, you can simply share the day with your kids. Plan a party together and attend the party as a family. If you are prone to getting into dramatic standoffs with your ex, this is not the option for you. But as long as you can get along (at least for a little while) you can spend your special day together with your child.

Split the Day

Other couples handle birthday parties with shared custody by splitting up the day. This works well if you live near each other. One parent keeps the children in the morning, and then the parents switch off in the afternoon. That way, each parent gets a chance to see their child on their actual birthday. You can even swap off at the party with one parent setting up and attending for the first half, and then the other parent switching off and handling cleanup after.

Double Up

Finally, for ex-couples that do not interact very peacefully or for exes that live far apart, some choose to handle birthday parties with shared custody by doubling up. Each parent gets to celebrate the children’s birthdays separately. Each year you can switch out who has the child on the actual day of their birth. This option is often a win-win for children because they get to have two parties!

The Bottom Line

However you choose to handle birthday parties with shared custody, the bottom line is that you and your ex need to set aside your differences for the sake of your children. You might have a lot of bitter feelings, but on this day only, it’s all about your birthday child. Try to get along as peacefully as you can so that your child can have a great day.

There are lots of ways to handle birthday parties with shared custody. A lot depends on the relationship that you have with your ex-spouse, and whether you can get along at all. It also depends on how close you live to one another, and of course, your financial situation. Some parents choose to throw one birthday party together for their kids. Others choose to switch off so that they don’t have to overlap very much. And yet others choose to have entirely separate celebrations with their children. It’s up to you to decide which way fits your family’s situation the best. However, the most important thing to remember is that this day isn’t about you and your ex-spouse, it’s about your child. So remember to put their feelings first and make this day as special as it can be.

Changing Your Name After Divorce

Changing your name after divorce can be an important milestone in the healing process. Having your ex’s name attached to yours can be a constant and painful reminder of the relationship. You can file a petition to change your name while you are going through the divorce itself, or you can wait until afterward. You’ll need to file your petition with the court, and provide several documents. After you legally change your name, you’ll need to update many things like ID cards and documents. It can be a tricky process, and it’s easy to forget some of the documents you’ll need, so hiring an attorney can be your best bet to avoid the hassle. Hopefully, changing your name after divorce can bring you some closure and let you move on more easily.

Changing Your Name After Divorce: When and How

When to Change Your Name

Changing your name after divorce can take as long as you want it to. If you want to finalize your divorce and then think about your decision for a little while, it’s perfectly fine. However, you can also choose to change your name as part of the divorce proceedings. It will be part of your petition to divorce and the judge can rule on that during the rest of the divorce proceedings.

How to Change Your Name

If you are changing your name after divorce and want to wait until your divorce is final, you can petition the court for the name change any time you want. You’ll need to file an official petition and bring your documents with you, along with a small fee. If you are petitioning to change your name as part of the divorce proceedings, your attorney can help you fill out the correct paperwork.

What You’ll Need

To file a petition for a name change, you’ll need to provide evidence that you aren’t changing it for any fraudulent reasons. To do this, you’ll need to provide the S.L.E.D. name change packet, which you can get from the court of clerks. In addition, you’ll need proof from the Department of Social Services showing you are not on a list for child abuse or neglect. You’ll also need a certified copy of your birth certificate. And finally, an affidavit stating if you are behind on child support or alimony.

Don’t Forget

Once you are done changing your name after divorce, you’ll need to remember to change it everywhere else. You’ll need to get a new social security card and driver’s license. In addition, you’ll want to update your bank and investment accounts. Don’t forget any professional licenses or educational degrees. And finally, you can also change your voter registration.

Changing your name after divorce can be a little complicated. It’s therefore helpful to get the assistance of an experienced attorney. You can choose to change your name during the divorce proceedings if you’d like. Otherwise, you’ll need to file a petition with the court. You’ll attend a hearing where you will need to prove that you aren’t changing it for any fraudulent reasons. To do this, you’ll have to bring various documents along with you. Finally, once you have done all of that, you can begin updating your name everywhere else. Hopefully, after you change your name, you’ll be able to get some closure on your divorce and move on to the next chapter of your life without the painful reminder of your ex’s name.

When is it Time for Marriage Counseling?

If you are considering whether or not it’s time for marriage counseling, then it probably is! A little guidance can help even the most healthy relationship. But it’s especially important if you find yourself struggling to connect with your partner. For example, if you are having communication issues. In addition, if there is broken trust within the marriage or an affair, a counselor can help you deal with it. If the intimacy in your marriage has dropped off or changed, it’s not a bad idea to seek help. And finally, even if your relationship is perfect, it’s always a good idea to check in with a counselor periodically. Hopefully, you’ll be able to sort out any issues you are your partner are having and build a much stronger relationship.

When is it Time for Marriage Counseling? How to Know When You Need Help

You Have Trouble Communicating

One reason why it might be time for marriage counseling is if you are struggling to communicate. If it feels like you and your partner are often not on the same page, it might be time to get help. A marriage counselor can help you find ways of communicating with each other effectively. There are many different ways of communicating, and your partner will likely respond better to some than others. A counselor can help you identify these.

Broken Trust

Another reason it might be time for marriage counseling is if there is a lack of trust in the relationship. For example, if one of you has had an affair. This can be incredibly painful to deal with. A therapist can help you sort out your feelings and communicate with your partner about the affair.

Lack of Intimacy

Lack of intimacy might be another thing that lets you know it’s time for marriage counseling. If your sex life has changed recently or dropped off completely, it can be a sign that there is something amiss in your relationship. It might not necessarily be a dire warning, but it might be a sign that your partner is dealing with some new emotions. A counselor can help bring these to light in a way where you can talk about them together.

Things are Great

Finally, it might be time for marriage counseling…if things are going great! Marriage counseling doesn’t necessarily mean there is anything wrong with your relationship. Counseling can help you learn to have difficult conversations more easily with each other. It can also help you identify areas where you might be able to improve your relationship. Seeing a therapist can help you prepare for any bumps that come along.

Many different things can signal that it’s time for marriage counseling. Any major changes in your relationship are a great reason to seek some outside help. If you are having trouble communicating with your partner, or feel you’re not on the same page, it might be time. In addition, if the trust has been broken, a counselor can help you sort out your feelings. A lack of intimacy or change in your sex life can be a great time to check in with a counselor. And finally, even if things are going great, seeing a marriage therapist is always helpful. They can help you learn to communicate better so that you’re prepared to handle anything that comes your way. Hopefully, you’ll be able to get the help you need to make your marriage as strong as possible.

Post-Divorce Identity: Redefine Your Life

When you’re in a marriage, it can become a large part of your identity. As a result, a divorce can make you question who you really are. Discovering your new post-divorce identity can be tricky. However, there are some ways you can make it easier…

Post-Divorce Identity: Find the New You

Viewing divorce

In order to create your new post-divorce identity, you should first consider how you view the divorce itself. For many people, they see their marriage as a sign of success. Over time, their marriage becomes a very important part of who they are. A divorce is drastically changing what they see as a key part of who they are.

Usually, this will make them feel like they are a failure. They believe that they failed in their role as a spouse, rather than accepting that sometime relationships of all types don’t work out. This also tends to come with a massive sense of loss. If you find yourself feeling this way, then it’s key to make some changes.

Don’t let divorce define you

It’s important that you don’t let your divorce define your post-divorce identity. The end of a marriage doesn’t mean you can’t experience new, great things in the future. Instead, you have to keep in mind that a divorce is just one small hurdle in the grand scheme of life.

You should also remember that while a divorce can be rough, it doesn’t always properly represent the people involved. You and your spouse can be great people who just had a relationship which didn’t work out. The thing is, there’s nothing wrong with that, and you don’t have to let it define you!

Looking to the future

Your should focus your post-divorce identity on what you want to do in the future. It’s good to take some time and reflect on what you really enjoy doing. Start small by thinking about stuff like hobbies or interests that you neglected while married. These can serve to be some inspiration for what you’d like to do down the line.

Also, consider the lessons your marriage and divorce have taught you. Taking away those important lessons will help you immensely in the future. That way, you can begin to do some strong self-improvement, and really become the person you want to be.

Alcoholism and Relationship Damage: Managing your Habit 

A bad habit can always be difficult to break However, breaking bad habits can often have a wonderful impact on your life, and your relationships. Take, for example, alcoholism and an intimate relationship. In many cases, serious alcohol abuse can cause relationship damage. Therefore, if you’re finding yourself in this situation, you’re likely looking for ways to save your relationship, your health, and manage your drinking. So, we’re going to focus on just that…

Alcoholism and Relationship Damage: Managing your Habit

Acknowledging the issue

The first step you can take towards repairing relationship damage due to alcohol is to acknowledge a problem, and where it starts. If you, and/or your partner, has acknowledged that alcohol is causing an issue in your relationship— it might be time to make a change. Ultimately, you have to decide what alcohol is worth to you. In other words, is your relationship more important to you than having a few drinks on the weekend? If it is, then maybe you should consider doing one of the following things…

Go alcohol-free for a period

Alcohol is bringing harm to the things you hold near and dear. Therefore, going without it for a while might help you prioritize. Not to mention, taking time away from alcohol can help you lose weight, save money, avoid nasty hangovers, and avoid relationship damage. If quitting cold turkey seems daunting to you, cut back bit by bit. Maybe start by going on a date with your significant other, and skipping that glass of wine. Or, do yoga at the end of a day to reduce stress instead of reaching for a cold one. By making this step, you’re showing your partner that you’re serious about making a change.

Have a conversation

No one starts drinking really heavily for no reason at all. Whether you’re stressed, anxious, depressed, angry, or so forth— there’s some reason that you aren’t stopping. So, take some time to talk it out. The person you’re with is supposed to be there for you and to listen when you need a shoulder to lean on, use that. It’s never a good time to talk about things when you’re under the influence. Typically, when drunk, it’s hard to say what you mean, and it’s easy for tempers to flare. So, using this period of time to talk with one another about your needs and wants might be extremely therapeutic.

Find a new hobby, maybe even together

Drinking is a vice, so replace it. Everyone has a method for relieving stress, and yours just so happens to be drinking. Now that you want to replace alcohol, consider finding a hobby for the two of you together. By doing something together, you have something to talk about, bond over, and improve on together. When you’re in a rut, taking action on something together can make a big difference in how you feel. Not to mention, it can help to rebuild a bit of your relationship that was lost…

Family Home: Keep, Sell, Or Split?

When you’re going through a divorce, one of the biggest decisions you’ll find yourself making— is what becomes of the family home? You’ve spent the better part of your marriage, and your adult life, making this house a home, and a safe haven for your family. But, now that your family is going to be looking a little bit different— what is the right choice for this, no longer communal, space? Do you keep it? Does your spouse? Or, do you sell the home and go your separate ways? Every family will make this choice, and do so in a different way… 

Family Home: Where Do We Go From Here?  

This decision is emotional for all parties involved. After all, you bought the family home, or built it, with a vision of building a family there. Little feet on the hardwood, grandchildren, and growing old. But, now, you’re left to decide where you go from here. Maybe you want the house right now, or your spouse does. Or, maybe neither of you want to take it on by yourself… 

Taking on the debts of a home by yourself… 

While, in the moment, you might decide that you want this house. After all, you put a lot of love, blood, sweat, and tears into making the family home what it is today. You don’t just want to pass off all that work to the highest bidder. But, before you make the decision, and buy your spouse out, you have to make a few decisions.

Chiefly, you have to decide if you can afford the debts of a home by yourself. Utilities, upkeep, accidentals… There is a lot of financial hardship that goes into owning a home, especially a home built for an entire family.

Do you want to give up other assets, or a nest egg, in exchange for this house? 

You might want the family home. If so, you might have to either buy your spouse out of their portion, or give some other large asset over in exchange. Therefore, you have to decide if this specific house is worth giving up something else potentially beneficial. Ultimately, you have to decide what it’s worth to you. 

A family home has a lot of memories…

While you might love your home, and the memories you’ve made here— not all of them are good. Furthermore, not all of those memories are going to be fond. You must consider if you really want to spend the years following a divorce in a family home that represents your marriage. Do you want to sleep in the same room, maybe even the same bed, that you spent the best and worst days of your marriage in? 

Making the decision to sell the family home can be a difficult one. But, it can make for a cleaner break and a fresh start for the both of you. Consider taking the money you make from it, and buy something better suited to your new lifestyle. We wish you luck in this difficult time, offer our condolences for your divorce, and extend our services if you find that you may need them.