Jan 28, 2022 | Co-parenting, Family Law
Summertime can bring the stress of figuring out vacations with split custody if you’ve recently been through a divorce. Split custody can be easy to figure out during the school year, but when summer hits, things can get more complicated. It’s important to set rules and expectations about summer vacation plans in your parenting plan in advance. In addition, make sure and set boundaries about what you’re comfortable with. Be flexible and try to be as accommodating as possible. And finally, stay in communication while your children are traveling. Hopefully, you’ll be able to work out an easy agreement where both you and your ex can enjoy some awesome summer vacation time with your children.
Vacations with Split Custody During the Summer: Enjoy Your Holidays
Lay it Out in Parenting Plan
One way to handle vacations with split custody is to lay them out in your broad parenting plan. When you sit down together to divvy up your custody arrangement, you can specify how many days you each get of vacation. For example, you can have language saying that you each get to take a ten-day vacation with the children each summer. Work it out however it fits best with your family’s needs.
Set Boundaries
Another important thing to do when dealing with vacations with split custody is to set boundaries. Make sure that you and your ex are on the same page as each other about where you each are allowed to take the children. Is it ok to leave the country? Or would you rather both stay within driving distance? In addition, set boundaries regarding who can join on the vacation. Can the kids bring a friend? If you are dating somebody, should they join? It’s best to lay all of this out ahead of time so that there isn’t drama or confusion when the time comes to plan trips.
Be Flexible
One thing that can be very helpful when figuring out vacations with split custody is to be flexible. It might sound difficult, especially if your divorce is contentious. However, the more reasonable you are, the more reasonable your partner will be when it’s you asking for extra vacation time. Remember that the key to good co-parenting is to try and be flexible and work together. Also, stop and consider what is best for your kids. You might not want to give up extra time with them. However, if it means cutting a trip short, it might be in their best interest to give up some of your time.
Stay In Communication
Finally, another thing to do when dealing with vacations with split custody is to stay in touch. While you are traveling and when your ex is traveling, have a policy of constant communication with the other parent. You’ll want to make sure that the children are safe. And that you and your ex are on the same page as far as boundaries go. Staying in constant contact will prevent one parent from being calm about things than the other.
Dealing with vacations with split custody can be stress-inducing. The key to preventing arguments is to lay out everything ahead of time. Your parenting plan should have language about vacations spelled out clearly. In addition, make sure that you’ve set clear-cut boundaries with your plan as well. That way you can prevent last-minute questions from coming up. Try to be flexible and accommodating whenever possible. Remember that if you are, it’s more likely that your ex will be too. And finally, stay in communication while vacationing to make sure that you and your ex are on the same page. Hopefully, you’ll be able to figure out vacation plans without any drama and find a summer schedule that works for everybody.
Oct 1, 2021 | Divorce, Family Law
Your divorce is final. It’s taken months and what might feel like years of stress and anxiety. You’ve put so much energy into keeping yourself organized and hashing out details. But it’s finally over. Now what? You might be at a loss because it’s the first time you’re confronting your new life without the distraction of a divorce. Take time to acknowledge that life that you’ve lost and grieve your divorce. If you’ve been holding off telling others, now is the time when you can finally let your friends and family know. Next, make a plan for yourself and how you’d like the next years of your life to look like. And finally, take your time moving on. You’ve gone through one of the biggest stressors in your life, and you can move forward with a new life.
My Divorce is Final: Now What do I do? Tips for Moving On
Take Time to Grieve
Some have compared the stress of divorce to being comparable to the stress of losing somebody close to you. You started your married life together with a version of what your future would look like. But you probably never expected to be going through a divorce. It’s ok to take time to grieve that life you planned to have. It’s healthy. After your divorce is final, acknowledge what you’ve lost and take time to experience your sadness. Try writing down your feelings in a journal to organize your thoughts. You might even be able to gain more perspective on your relationship with your spouse once you’re able to step away.
Let Others Know
If your divorce is final, now is the time to open up and let others know. If you’ve been hiding your separation, now is the time to give people notice. You may need to alert people if you’ve changed your address. Similarly, if you’ve changed your name you’ll need to update your friends and family. You’ll also need to register the name and address change with the DMV, Social Security Office, and others. Go at your own pace when telling people about your divorce. Keep it simple and try not to badmouth your ex.
Make a Plan
After your divorce is final, you’ll need to make a plan for your future. Things probably look very different than you were expecting when you first got married. Now it’s time to make a new plan for the next few years and beyond. The first thing up is to make a financial plan. Your assets and income might have been affected in the divorce, so making a budget is more important than ever. You’ll also want to plan out how to handle future events with your ex if you have split custody. Figure out what your new life looks like and set goals for yourself. You’ll adapt to your new life soon and will be proud of yourself when you reach milestones.
Move on at Your Own Pace
You’ll want to move on at your own pace after your divorce is final. While it’s important to eventually move on, give yourself plenty of time. You want to make sure that you are comfortable being single again before you try to seek out a new relationship. Try to keep things moving slowly. Hopefully, you’ve learned a lot about yourself and what you need in a future partner. Taking it slow will allow you to make sure you are both a good fit for each other before things get too serious. Once you are comfortable, try putting yourself out there and meeting new people. Maybe you can make a connection with somebody new that will be an even better partner for you.
After your divorce is final, you may feel a little bit at a loss since you’ve been so focused on the divorce for so long. Take plenty of time for yourself to grieve and accept that your life looks different than you expected. Also, give yourself time to get comfortable being single before moving on romantically. Let your friends and family know if you haven’t already. Now is also the time to update your contact information if your address or name has changed. Finally, make a plan for yourself and layout how you’d like your future to look. Hopefully, the next chapter of your life will be fulfilling and exciting.
Feb 14, 2021 | Divorce, Family Law
Alimony is a court-ordered payment that is awarded to a spouse or former spouse within a separation or divorce agreement. There is a reason behind why court-ordered alimony exists. The purpose is to provide financial support to the spouse who makes a lower, or no, income. Laws about alimony can vary from state to state. This guide will help you learn a little bit more about alimony.
Court-Ordered Alimony: What is It?
The Basics
The goal of court-ordered alimony is to provide spousal support. This is so that that the other spouse can continue the lifestyle they are used to, despite getting a divorce. No one wants to find themselves in unexpected debt after getting a divorce. The amount of money owed and duration of the payments could be different based on how long a couple was married. Also, they may also weigh the current and potential future incomes of the spouses. There are other factors that will determine the amount and type of alimony. Therefore, these are just a part of the equation.
Timeframe
Based on different factors, the length of time that court-ordered alimony must be paid for could vary. A judge, or both of the parties involved, may set an expiration date for the alimony. This means that the payer is no longer has to financially support his or her spouse. They no longer have to make payments.
In addition to this, there may be other reasons that alimony may end. These may vary from state to state. There could be a termination of alimony in the event that a former spouse remarries, children no longer require a parent at home, retirement, or death. Another possibility could be if a judge deems that the recipient is not making efforts to become self-sufficient.
Child Support
It is important to keep in mind that court-ordered alimony should not be confused with child support. These are two separate things. For example, the purpose of alimony to support a spouse or former spouse. On the other hand, child support payments are meant to support one or more children from a relationship or marriage that has ended.
You now know some of the basics about court-ordered alimony. The criteria used for determining alimony can vary from state to state. Also, the circumstances that dictate many aspects of the alimony will differ based on location as well as the unique situation of both parties involved. Also, remember that child support and alimony are not the same things.
Jun 26, 2020 | Divorce, Family Law
2020 has been a year of firsts for many. Maybe you had your first child, marriage, divorce, quarantine… In many areas, divorce rates have hit a high between quarantine and a lot of one-on-one time. After all, even when you’re married, many people live a portion of their lives separately. Now that they aren’t, those fractures might increase. But, before rushing to our office for a post-quarantine divorce, we urge you to consider the pro’s and cons. Furthermore, is this something you actually want or are you just in desperate and difficult times?..
Post-Quarantine Divorce: What To Consider
Evaluate your situation
When you begin to consider a post-quarantine divorce, you don’t want to rush things. Rather, you should slow down and thing about what’s going on. All the stress that the pandemic is causing could be having a negative impact on your mental health and marriage.
Therefore, you need to think if what’s going on in your marriage is due to the crisis, or comes from long-standing issues. Having to spend so much time with each other can make those problems become apparent. If you feel that these issues have been brewing for some time, then a divorce may make sense.
Consider your priorities
If you’ve set yourself on a post-quarantine divorce, then you need to think about what you can take care of now. Many places may be closed or on reduced hours, which can slow down the process. Still, that doesn’t mean you can’t get some initial prep work out of the way.
You’ll also need to think about your living situation. Will you be able to find another place to stay if needed? Or will you need to stay sheltered-in-place for some time? If you find yourself in the latter situation, then make sure you and your soon-to-be-ex can come up with some plans to make things tolerable.
Plan ahead
Be sure to plan out your post-quarantine divorce. It’s good to develop a basic game plan and some ideas of what you may want to get out from it. There might be a lot of people with the same idea, and so don’t be surprised if the process still takes longer than it would normally.
Also, think about your post-divorce life. This might include thinking about a potential new job, home, etc. It can be hard to fully predict what your situation will be like in a few month’s time, so make sure you have a few backup plans in mind. At the end of the day, you have to make the right choice for your family whatever that may be. We encourage you to do just that and to call us if you need us.
Jun 23, 2019 | Divorce, Family Law
For some, school is their entire lives. For many others, however, going to school was never a thought. Or if it was, they put in their time and got out. But what about going to school post-divorce? Is this new chapter of your life sparking an interest in a certain field? Perhaps your new single lifestyle should be accompanying a new career. If this is the case for you, consider these tips when going back to school.
School Post-Divorce: Making Positive Changes
Get Up to Date
If you’ve been out of school for a while, your chunky laptop might not make the cut any more. Going to school post-divorce might require you to treat yourself to some new technology! New developments in tech mean more accessible textbooks and classroom resources. Tablets, laptops, and convertible laptops are great tools to set your new class off just right.
Know Your Comfort Zone
Going to school may be out of your comfort zone. It’s refreshing to push yourself and your boundaries. It’s important to remember, however, that your life is much different than the last time you were in school. For your first semester back to school post-divorce, make sure you don’t overload it.
Focus on Finances
Keep in mind that school post-divorce costs just as much as it did pre-divorce. While financial aid, grants, and scholarships are available, they rarely cover every expense you have. Keep these financial responsibilities in mind when deciding to go back to school.
Be Confident
If you’re returning to school post-divorce, there’s a good chance you will be slightly older than your fresh-faced peers. Don’t worry! Know that you deserve your spot in the class just as much as everyone else. You can connect with new people and groups on campus, which might be a good idea for those in need of new hobbies.
You deserve the benefit of going to school post-divorce. If you are trying to decide if this is right for you, you might start with class you have a genuine interest in. Classes like these could include the arts or music. Do whatever you feel will serve yourself best.
Dec 6, 2018 | Divorce, Family Law
Divorce leads to changes in how your day-to-day life operates. One of the areas that can include is employment. You might’ve been a stay-at-home parent during your marriage, but you’re finding that your new financial situation means you need a better source of income. No matter the motive, it can be stressful to think about job hunting. To help make this process easier, we have put together a few things to consider before looking for post-divorce employment…
Post-Divorce Employment: Considerations Before Looking
Figure Out What You Want To Do
The first thing to consider when thinking about post-divorce employment is what kind of job you’d like to pursue. Are you looking for something similar to what you used to have, or something entirely new? Do you need to work full-time, or would part-time make ends meet? Make sure to consider things related to your divorce as well. For instance, you might want flexible hours so you can spend more time with your children. You might also want to consider if a job has benefits, such as healthcare, if you find yourself without after the divorce. Ultimately, this is your livelihood, so it’s important to take time to really consider what you’re looking for rather than rushing right back in.
Start To Search
Once you decide on your post-divorce employment path, the next step is to begin searching. Luckily, there’s plenty of online job boardsthese days to use to look. To maximize your chances of finding a quality position, it helps to cast a wide net across several sites. Additionally, make sure your resume is up-to-date. Take time and customize it to fit your wants in a new career. If you’re applying in a field you’re familiar with, make sure to highlight your hands-on experience and skills. For new industries you might be exploring, use your enthusiasm for the job and show how experience you have from other fields translates into the one you’re interested in.
Prepare For Interviews
Once you begin looking for post-divorce employment, you will want to prepare yourself for potential interviews. Planning ahead of time can help reduce the anxiety and stress that comes with an interview. Instead, you’ll be able to focus on making your great first impression to your potential new boss. Think about which skills and experience you want to emphasize, and let your personality shine through instead of being shrouded in anxiety. Furthermore, be upfront about your employment gap. Whether you were a stay-at-home parent, or took some time off during the divorce— it helps to give your potential employer some context. Sharing a few details can feel a bit awkward, but, not only will most interviewers be understanding, they’ll also appreciate the honesty.
Looking for post-divorce employment can be difficult. However, the end result of finding that right job for you makes it worth it. Having patience and using some of the tips here can help make sure you get that new dream job.
