Mar 11, 2022 | Family Law, Marriage
With so many people working from home for such a long time, many relationships are feeling the strain. It can be hard to keep the romance alive when you are around your partner every waking moment. While many people have gone back to work in person, many companies are switching to more long-term work-from-home set-ups. Employees have mixed feelings about this. But one thing is for sure: it can change your relationship dynamic. To keep the romance alive, try to make a schedule and stick to it. In addition, get up and put on clothes every day. Make sure to carve out some time alone each day. And finally, also make sure to carve out some dedicated couples time as well. It’s easy to forget that a relationship takes effort, but putting in the work will make you both happier and your relationship stronger.
Relationship Tips When Working from Home: How to Keep the Romance Alive
Make a Schedule
When working from home, it’s important to remember to stick to a schedule. It can be easy to fall into a pattern of lounging around or waiting until a few minutes before your first zoom call to get out of bed. But your mental health will be better if you start the day with a similar routine. Try to get up around the same time each day, and try to keep a similar bedtime as well. Structure your day with work, breaks, and some time to get outside in the fresh air for a bit.
Get Dressed
Another important thing to remember when working from home is to get dressed each day. This might seem silly but it can really change your attitude. Getting up, showering, and putting on clothes can boost your confidence and help you approach the day with a more productive attitude. It can also keep the romance alive a bit more when you and your partner are clean and in something other than pajamas!
Make Time for Yourself
It’s also very important to make time for yourself when working from home. Especially if you and your partner are both working from home full time and even more so if you have children. Carve out some time each day to be alone and to do something that makes you feel happy. It could be as simple as walking the dog, a phone call with a friend, or a bath. You can ask your partner to get out of the house for a little while and offer to switch with them if you feel like you want to be alone. Take a short drive, go run an errand, or get out for a walk to give them privacy.
Make Time for Each Other
While it’s important to take time for yourself when working from home it’s also important to make time for your partner as well. It’s easy to let the romance fade a little when you see each other day in and day out. But talking briefly between Zoom meetings isn’t really the type of quality time that a relationship needs. Try to set aside some time each week where the two of you can connect on non-work things. Keep the phones off and sit down for a meal together or go and do an activity that makes you feel close.
Working from home can be a difficult transition for many couples. While you typically would spend the day apart and then reconnect at night after work, you’re suddenly together all the time. It’s easy to get irritated and let the romance fade. To keep your relationship healthy, try to maintain a schedule as if you are still going into the office. That includes getting up, showering, and getting dressed each day. You don’t need to wear your most uncomfortable suit, but at least change out of your pajamas. Make time for yourself each and every day. And finally, it’s important to also carve out time to be together as a couple. It can be a difficult transition, but there are also a lot of benefits to working at home. Just make sure that you and your partner are on the same page and putting in equal effort into your relationship.
Mar 4, 2022 | Family Law, Post-divorce life
One of the trickiest things to navigate if you remarry and create a blended family is stepparent discipline. Co-parenting comes in many forms and this is absolutely one of them that takes a bit of adjustment. After all, you want to both be a good parent, but also don’t want them to resent you. Striking that balance can be hard, but you can make it easier by using the right techniques…
Stepparent Discipline: Do It Right
Let your spouse take the lead
When it comes to stepparent discipline, the stepparent shouldn’t be taking the lead initially. During those early months, your stepchild may not fully respect your authority. Therefore, when you do try and discipline them, they’ll either ignore you or get even worse. That’s why you want your partner to take control.
It’s good to let your spouse handle discipline at first. They’ll be more experienced, and your stepchild will hold more respect for what they say. You can try to talk to them in a positive manner when they’re misbehaving and see if they stop. But if they don’t, then let your partner take over.
Don’t be too harsh
When it comes time to implement some stepparent discipline, it’s important to not go to far. Being too harsh on your stepchild will cause them to view you as mean and hurt your relationship. Adjusting to being a stepparent can be hard and you may be a bit stressed. Still, you don’t want that to come out in your punishments.
Your punishments should ideally fit with what your stepchild has done wrong. For example, if they were being mean to someone else, you shouldn’t ground them for a week. Instead, explain why what they did was wrong and send them to their room to calm down. When they don’t feel like they’re being punished unfairly, kids tend to better understand why what they did was wrong.
Hear them out
An important part of stepparent discipline is giving your stepchild a chance to tell their side of things. Much like you have, they too have been going through a lot of change. Not only did they have to deal with their parents divorcing, but now they must adjust to a “new” family. This can bring up a lot of emotions and make them act out in response.
However, by giving them a chance to talk, you can better understand how they feel. That way, you can see why they may be acting a certain way. Instead of punishing them, encourage them to talk to you and use it as a chance to help them and improve your bond.
Jan 28, 2022 | Co-parenting, Family Law
Summertime can bring the stress of figuring out vacations with split custody if you’ve recently been through a divorce. Split custody can be easy to figure out during the school year, but when summer hits, things can get more complicated. It’s important to set rules and expectations about summer vacation plans in your parenting plan in advance. In addition, make sure and set boundaries about what you’re comfortable with. Be flexible and try to be as accommodating as possible. And finally, stay in communication while your children are traveling. Hopefully, you’ll be able to work out an easy agreement where both you and your ex can enjoy some awesome summer vacation time with your children.
Vacations with Split Custody During the Summer: Enjoy Your Holidays
Lay it Out in Parenting Plan
One way to handle vacations with split custody is to lay them out in your broad parenting plan. When you sit down together to divvy up your custody arrangement, you can specify how many days you each get of vacation. For example, you can have language saying that you each get to take a ten-day vacation with the children each summer. Work it out however it fits best with your family’s needs.
Set Boundaries
Another important thing to do when dealing with vacations with split custody is to set boundaries. Make sure that you and your ex are on the same page as each other about where you each are allowed to take the children. Is it ok to leave the country? Or would you rather both stay within driving distance? In addition, set boundaries regarding who can join on the vacation. Can the kids bring a friend? If you are dating somebody, should they join? It’s best to lay all of this out ahead of time so that there isn’t drama or confusion when the time comes to plan trips.
Be Flexible
One thing that can be very helpful when figuring out vacations with split custody is to be flexible. It might sound difficult, especially if your divorce is contentious. However, the more reasonable you are, the more reasonable your partner will be when it’s you asking for extra vacation time. Remember that the key to good co-parenting is to try and be flexible and work together. Also, stop and consider what is best for your kids. You might not want to give up extra time with them. However, if it means cutting a trip short, it might be in their best interest to give up some of your time.
Stay In Communication
Finally, another thing to do when dealing with vacations with split custody is to stay in touch. While you are traveling and when your ex is traveling, have a policy of constant communication with the other parent. You’ll want to make sure that the children are safe. And that you and your ex are on the same page as far as boundaries go. Staying in constant contact will prevent one parent from being calm about things than the other.
Dealing with vacations with split custody can be stress-inducing. The key to preventing arguments is to lay out everything ahead of time. Your parenting plan should have language about vacations spelled out clearly. In addition, make sure that you’ve set clear-cut boundaries with your plan as well. That way you can prevent last-minute questions from coming up. Try to be flexible and accommodating whenever possible. Remember that if you are, it’s more likely that your ex will be too. And finally, stay in communication while vacationing to make sure that you and your ex are on the same page. Hopefully, you’ll be able to figure out vacation plans without any drama and find a summer schedule that works for everybody.
Oct 1, 2021 | Divorce, Family Law
Your divorce is final. It’s taken months and what might feel like years of stress and anxiety. You’ve put so much energy into keeping yourself organized and hashing out details. But it’s finally over. Now what? You might be at a loss because it’s the first time you’re confronting your new life without the distraction of a divorce. Take time to acknowledge that life that you’ve lost and grieve your divorce. If you’ve been holding off telling others, now is the time when you can finally let your friends and family know. Next, make a plan for yourself and how you’d like the next years of your life to look like. And finally, take your time moving on. You’ve gone through one of the biggest stressors in your life, and you can move forward with a new life.
My Divorce is Final: Now What do I do? Tips for Moving On
Take Time to Grieve
Some have compared the stress of divorce to being comparable to the stress of losing somebody close to you. You started your married life together with a version of what your future would look like. But you probably never expected to be going through a divorce. It’s ok to take time to grieve that life you planned to have. It’s healthy. After your divorce is final, acknowledge what you’ve lost and take time to experience your sadness. Try writing down your feelings in a journal to organize your thoughts. You might even be able to gain more perspective on your relationship with your spouse once you’re able to step away.
Let Others Know
If your divorce is final, now is the time to open up and let others know. If you’ve been hiding your separation, now is the time to give people notice. You may need to alert people if you’ve changed your address. Similarly, if you’ve changed your name you’ll need to update your friends and family. You’ll also need to register the name and address change with the DMV, Social Security Office, and others. Go at your own pace when telling people about your divorce. Keep it simple and try not to badmouth your ex.
Make a Plan
After your divorce is final, you’ll need to make a plan for your future. Things probably look very different than you were expecting when you first got married. Now it’s time to make a new plan for the next few years and beyond. The first thing up is to make a financial plan. Your assets and income might have been affected in the divorce, so making a budget is more important than ever. You’ll also want to plan out how to handle future events with your ex if you have split custody. Figure out what your new life looks like and set goals for yourself. You’ll adapt to your new life soon and will be proud of yourself when you reach milestones.
Move on at Your Own Pace
You’ll want to move on at your own pace after your divorce is final. While it’s important to eventually move on, give yourself plenty of time. You want to make sure that you are comfortable being single again before you try to seek out a new relationship. Try to keep things moving slowly. Hopefully, you’ve learned a lot about yourself and what you need in a future partner. Taking it slow will allow you to make sure you are both a good fit for each other before things get too serious. Once you are comfortable, try putting yourself out there and meeting new people. Maybe you can make a connection with somebody new that will be an even better partner for you.
After your divorce is final, you may feel a little bit at a loss since you’ve been so focused on the divorce for so long. Take plenty of time for yourself to grieve and accept that your life looks different than you expected. Also, give yourself time to get comfortable being single before moving on romantically. Let your friends and family know if you haven’t already. Now is also the time to update your contact information if your address or name has changed. Finally, make a plan for yourself and layout how you’d like your future to look. Hopefully, the next chapter of your life will be fulfilling and exciting.
Feb 14, 2021 | Divorce, Family Law
Alimony is a court-ordered payment that is awarded to a spouse or former spouse within a separation or divorce agreement. There is a reason behind why court-ordered alimony exists. The purpose is to provide financial support to the spouse who makes a lower, or no, income. Laws about alimony can vary from state to state. This guide will help you learn a little bit more about alimony.
Court-Ordered Alimony: What is It?
The Basics
The goal of court-ordered alimony is to provide spousal support. This is so that that the other spouse can continue the lifestyle they are used to, despite getting a divorce. No one wants to find themselves in unexpected debt after getting a divorce. The amount of money owed and duration of the payments could be different based on how long a couple was married. Also, they may also weigh the current and potential future incomes of the spouses. There are other factors that will determine the amount and type of alimony. Therefore, these are just a part of the equation.
Timeframe
Based on different factors, the length of time that court-ordered alimony must be paid for could vary. A judge, or both of the parties involved, may set an expiration date for the alimony. This means that the payer is no longer has to financially support his or her spouse. They no longer have to make payments.
In addition to this, there may be other reasons that alimony may end. These may vary from state to state. There could be a termination of alimony in the event that a former spouse remarries, children no longer require a parent at home, retirement, or death. Another possibility could be if a judge deems that the recipient is not making efforts to become self-sufficient.
Child Support
It is important to keep in mind that court-ordered alimony should not be confused with child support. These are two separate things. For example, the purpose of alimony to support a spouse or former spouse. On the other hand, child support payments are meant to support one or more children from a relationship or marriage that has ended.
You now know some of the basics about court-ordered alimony. The criteria used for determining alimony can vary from state to state. Also, the circumstances that dictate many aspects of the alimony will differ based on location as well as the unique situation of both parties involved. Also, remember that child support and alimony are not the same things.
Jun 26, 2020 | Divorce, Family Law
2020 has been a year of firsts for many. Maybe you had your first child, marriage, divorce, quarantine… In many areas, divorce rates have hit a high between quarantine and a lot of one-on-one time. After all, even when you’re married, many people live a portion of their lives separately. Now that they aren’t, those fractures might increase. But, before rushing to our office for a post-quarantine divorce, we urge you to consider the pro’s and cons. Furthermore, is this something you actually want or are you just in desperate and difficult times?..
Post-Quarantine Divorce: What To Consider
Evaluate your situation
When you begin to consider a post-quarantine divorce, you don’t want to rush things. Rather, you should slow down and thing about what’s going on. All the stress that the pandemic is causing could be having a negative impact on your mental health and marriage.
Therefore, you need to think if what’s going on in your marriage is due to the crisis, or comes from long-standing issues. Having to spend so much time with each other can make those problems become apparent. If you feel that these issues have been brewing for some time, then a divorce may make sense.
Consider your priorities
If you’ve set yourself on a post-quarantine divorce, then you need to think about what you can take care of now. Many places may be closed or on reduced hours, which can slow down the process. Still, that doesn’t mean you can’t get some initial prep work out of the way.
You’ll also need to think about your living situation. Will you be able to find another place to stay if needed? Or will you need to stay sheltered-in-place for some time? If you find yourself in the latter situation, then make sure you and your soon-to-be-ex can come up with some plans to make things tolerable.
Plan ahead
Be sure to plan out your post-quarantine divorce. It’s good to develop a basic game plan and some ideas of what you may want to get out from it. There might be a lot of people with the same idea, and so don’t be surprised if the process still takes longer than it would normally.
Also, think about your post-divorce life. This might include thinking about a potential new job, home, etc. It can be hard to fully predict what your situation will be like in a few month’s time, so make sure you have a few backup plans in mind. At the end of the day, you have to make the right choice for your family whatever that may be. We encourage you to do just that and to call us if you need us.
